Online dating issue

LegacyUser

Meet a guy online over a month ago. Living a good bit from him so only met up 3 times (each being pretty much whole day spent together). Am early 40s so should be alot cooler about the whole thing but I've never been as attracted to anyone in my whole life. Only out of ten year relationship a year. Anyway I didn't log online for a few weeks but out of curiosity last week I checked and saw he's still on there
Id get over that but I see on Facebook he's commenting shot on a woman's page and I know she's from online world so worried he's pursuing her and I'm only second best. It's too early and casual to mention anything but it's natural to not want feel used!! He' always on about meeting up but phone calls and contact have definitely dwindled in past 2 weeks. Is there anyway of bringing it up, seeing as we are in such early days(im basically accusing him of using me until someone else comes along!). We slept together on third date by the way. Thing is when I do meet him next I'm going to be turn between being affectionate and playing it cool to protect myself and my pride. It's hard to really connect and develop anything with these thoughts. I'm trying to go with the flow and just enjoy but it would kill me to be used

RebekahD

The thing is op if your still on the dating site that might of made him feel like your still looking and second best and confused ?

Exclamation Marc

Having some experience on dating sites, can I ask if his intentions are noted on his profile, whether he's just dating or if he's looking for something more?

silverbolt

dating sites are notorious for men who are just looking for hookups and women who are just there for the attention.

I say go withe flow, see how it goes. You've slept together so that gets the whole awkwardness out the way and if he is after only one thing then that will soon show now tht hes had it.

But your playing games here as well. Dont go hot and cold on him. Just be yourself.

LegacyUser

Op here. I'm a really insecure person and liking him so much is definitely making me irrational. At same time, the facs are he used ring me most days whereas now we might text every second day. That's surely a bad sign, would expect contact to increase?! He has asked me to visit him every weekend though. It's the fact his phone calls have dwindled until now theyre non existent that bothers me. He will answer. God I sound like a teenager.part of me thinks I should date other guys,just to stop feeling so intensely and freaking out about being used!

KikiDee

Hey OP,

So you're at the stage where you've slept together and you're both still in contact. Just drop into the conversation what exactly you're looking for from this and see what he says. Otherwise, you'll just keep torturing yourself about it all which is so not needed.

CaraMay

Tbh op it's never a good sign when interest and contact start to wane after a couple have slept together. I think your gut is shouting at you and it sounds like he's keeping his options open. I would definitely start dating others and see what happens with this guy but I certainly wouldn't be putting all my eggs in his basket

Tigger99

You mentioned he's asked you to visit him every weekend? What about him coming down to you, has he suggested that?

RebekahD

If the texts and contact is waning. Yet he's asking you to visit at weekends that to me sounds like he sees you more like a friends with benefit type of thing ?
If your not wanting that maybe time to let him know what your looking for ?

lelo100

Read 'attached the book' it's great for looking at relationship issues. Def keep your options open. Date a few guys and then choose the one that treats you best. A good relationship is so important to a happy life. Don't choose someone who makes you feel insecure. Life is too short.

lelo100

Evan says it best!!