Comparing twins

LegacyUser

Hi guys, I just feel like a joke when I compare myself with my twin. I am happy for him but also envious of his life.

I am unemployed drawing the dole which I hate doing for the last 5 months and he has a really good job, holidays, car etc.... There are no signs of a job for me and I have even had to borrow money off him to buy a Mother's Day gift. I have bipolar and have been pretty unwell recently, which I am embarrassed about, he has no mental health issues. I am 28 and single for the past 2 years and he is engaged saving for a mortgage, has a good social life and everyone just gravitates towards him. He is naturally very slim and I've put on a lot of weight in the last 2 years (I know it's my own fault). He is a really funny, kind and caring guy, He's my best friend but I feel so embarrassed to be his sibling. I think it is natural to compare twins and there is just no comparison for us. I feel like people are laughing at me like I'm a dud. For people to tell us apart I feel like I'm the fat one, the stupid one, the laughing stock. It's getting me down to the point where I think he would be better off without me. He doesn't need me like I need him. I feel like my life is a mess, my mental health is suffering, I know it's all my own fault. I know I shouldn't compare myself to him but I do, I look up to him. How do I get out of this rut I've got myself in to?

CaraMay

You see just in a short term slump op. Start exercising as it will help your mind as well as the weight issue you said you have. But everyone can be Beyoncé, some people are Solange and that's fine. Just start slowly - exercise and healthy eating and looking for a job. It's easy to compare twins but you are both still individuals.

LegacyUser

Twinnumber2 wrote: »

I think he would be better off without me. He doesn't need me like I need him.

Without even knowing either of you, I can absolutely guarantee you that neither of those things is even slightly true, not even one little bit.

bagofweasels

I saw this at lunch time and scrapped a few replies. All I have to say is that I have two sets of twins (all male) close to me and I've seen them all feel the same way about their close brother doing better than them at one time or another. Don't let it get you down. Having someone that close to you presents the opportunity to have a discussion about the rut you find yourself in. Your brother might be able to help you find a route out of it, but you'll have to talk with him first. Don't spend time worrying that people are laughing at you - most people are kinder (or more self-absorbed, depending on the person) than you think. Hope you feel better soon.

Taltos

Mod Note
Hi OP.

I have not approved your two last posts as in PI where a poster mentions suicide we have do as I am doing here.

If you feel you are in immediate danger of following through on those thoughts at any time please go and present yourself into your nearest emergency room.
Otherwise please make an appointment to go and talk to your GP, let them know how you are feeling and why, they are there to help you with a range of options, eg medication, counselling, CBT courses.

In the meantime please have a read of this link here - it's set up specifically to help people here in the midst of a crisis - there are some really useful links and even freephone numbers where you can talk in a non-judged way.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057178293

Sorry but now closing the thread as well.