"Women shouldn't let themselves go when they become mothers"

RacoonQueen

There was an article advertised on Radio Nova today - that I'm pretty sure they said was by Pippa O'Connor saying that "Women shouldn't let themselves go when they become mothers" - what utter tripe is this, I thought.
I've googled it since I've come home and can't find the article - searched the Mirror and the Indo expecting it to be in one of them, but, nothing online about this particular article.
However, when I google ''women shouldn't let themselves go'' - a whole load of crap gets thrown right back at me.
Now, I'm not one to get offended by ads and what not and often stuff on this forum that I see people get offended by, baffles me, as it wouldn't bother me. But, this really pissed me off.

How does one define ''letting yourself go?" and letting yourself go, from what?
Perhaps as someone who doesn't wear make up much, and always has their hair tied up etc it bothers me more - as my daily appearance would be what I assume is meant by 'letting oneself go'

How are we ever supposed to stop being judged on our appearance if someone in the public eye comes out with this sort of tripe?

edit: and the top result I get when I google 'men letting themselves go' is about men continuing to date a woman who let herself go during the relationship...

PLL

Women should be able to look/be however the hell they want whether they have kids or not. Some women just don't have the incentive to spend ages doing their hair and make-up when they have young kids, some still want to look immaculate.

Myself, I don't have as much time as I used to obviously so I have a shorter haircut which is quicker to style in the morning, and I put on some presentable make-up. By no means will people be complimenting me on it, it's fairly standard.

I've seen mother's in tracksuits, no make-up and hair pulled back. I've seen mother's with a full high coverage face of make-up, designer clothes and high heels. Neither is better than the other. There are only two things that matter and that is that you're happy, and you're a good mother.

I'm very surprised at Pippa saying that, I follow her and always got the impression she was about empowering all women. She and her friends and team of workers may be glam but that doesn't mean all women should feel pressured to be like that. As a woman I love getting all dolled up to go out out. I have absolutely no incentive to make a ton of effort for going about my day to day business.

baby and crumble

It basically boils down to the idea that the value of women is society is down to how they look. "Letting yourself go" is a (not so sly) way to say "you used to look pretty and now I don't think you do so you're worth less in my eyes".

RacoonQueen

PLL wrote: »

I'm very surprised at Pippa saying that, I follow her and always got the impression she was about empowering all women. She and her friends and team of workers may be glam but that doesn't mean all women should feel pressured to be like that. As a woman I love getting all dolled up to go out out. I have absolutely no incentive to make a ton of effort for going about my day to day business.

For clarity, I can't be 100% it was Pippa they were quoting but her name was the only one I recall being mentioned in the same short piece.

So, you're a mother now? Thats great, as long as that pregnancy weight is gone in a week and those dark circles from sleep deprivation are hidden under make up, and you subtract the time it takes to do your hair and make up like you used to from your precious sleep ration.

If you look tired or flabby or don't have time to do your hair, then pull yourself together woman! Your job, before all others - even that baby - is to be pretty.

Pretty and nice, nice and pretty.

Smile, luv. Might never happen.

panda100

It's in the magazine section of the Sindo. Where else would it be? The magazine and that paper is disgusting and the most sexist, misogynistic paper going. I would just ignore it and pippa's comments if I was you. That is what they want, to upset women and put us down.

Penny Tration

I've actually seen women treat other women like this.

A friend has an 11 week old baby. She went from a size 10 before pregnancy to a size 16 during pregnancy, and is already down to a 10 on top and 12 on bottom, about 7lbs away from her pre-baby weight.

Her own SISTER is telling her how much she's let herself go, how fat she is, how she can't use baby as an excuse for having a 'big belly because it's been months now.'

It's shocking. Women and men change as they age. You probably will never look as good at 40 as you did at 20. It's life. we change, sometimes we don't dress up, sometimes we don't have time for make up and can't be bothered with a pretty dress or heels. and so what? Why is that such a bad thing?

Mars Bar

Reminds of this just a couple of weeks ago

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCcnUlLk0qi/?taken-by=mrsgifletcher&hl=en

She followed it up with this a couple of days ago

Neyite

Since having a baby, I've become a lot more proud of my body - but in a different way.

I'm a size up from what I was 20 years ago - which is good, because I was underweight then. I also maintained full make-up daily, and fretted over what I was wearing, and hugely critical of my body and looks. Insecure and was daft enough to put up with a load of crap in relationships because I didn't know I could do better.

Because I no longer give a fcuk what 'people' think of me. I know I'm physically attractive to the only person that I'm interested in attracting. I'd be more likely to don a bikini now than I was then, even though I had a far better figure back then. I'm confident and happy in my ageing skin. I scrub up well I think, but if people notice I've got a bit of a muffin, or if they judge those few grey hairs that are beginning to sprout, then I honestly could not give a shiny sh!t.

If letting myself go meant being this happy about my appearance, I should have done it decades ago.

baby and crumble

I for one cannot WAIT for more grey hairs to show up. I plan on being quite the silver fox.

Mars Bar

baby and crumble wrote: »

I for one cannot WAIT for more grey hairs to show up. I plan on being quite the silver fox.

Oh I've had LOADS show up since I cut my hair up short. I'm only 26 and I think I have more than the average 26 year old female but it's hard to judge as most people seem to dye their hair. I couldn't be bothered with that hassle and now I'm curious to see what it's like as it grows out!

RacoonQueen

panda100 wrote: »

It's in the magazine section of the Sindo. Where else would it be? The magazine and that paper is disgusting and the most sexist, misogynistic paper going. I would just ignore it and pippa's comments if I was you. That is what they want, to upset women and put us down.

Ah yes, exactly where I expected it to be.

In my teens and early 20's I never would have left the house without makeup on, not even to go to the bin outside. In the last few years, I stopped wearing makeup going about daily chores execpt work. Even went into town shopping etc without makeup...then I stopped wearing it to work...and now I wear it only if I've a particularly bad break out or when I'm on a night out/date etc

Neyite

baby and crumble wrote: »

I for one cannot WAIT for more grey hairs to show up. I plan on being quite the silver fox.

I plan on having this kind of Blue Rinse when I'm ready for my bus pass.

messy tessy

I only heard the radio ad also, and was stunned and disgusted. What a horrible idea for an article, let alone one to be published on mother's day.

baby and crumble

It's really strange when you think about it.

"You grew another human but you stopped putting chemicals on your face. HOW DARE YOU!!"

Really??!!??

HamsterFace

I don't think men or women should let themselves go. You should always try to look sexy and nice for each other.

R.D. aka MR.D

It's yet more pressure to conform to some 'ideal' that has absolutely no basis in anything.

I've got a typical Irish complexion, pale, freckles and the whole nine yards. I used to hear all the time about how I need to wear fake tan and conform to that look that is so popular. I never did. I had a random wedding guest at my brothers wedding ask me if I was a goth (I wasn't even wearing black!).

I've been living abroad for 4 years and see how ridiculous the standards are. People bleach their skin in Korea to get my complexion but my size 8 on top, 10 on bottom body is 'soooo fat'. But in America, I'm 'so skinny'. My Husband to be is Mexican American and thinks that my freckles are so beautiful and my pale body is something to be admired.

It's all just arbitrary standards that are set by the society for some unknown reason! After realising that, I just wear as much makeup as I'm comfortable with (none these days but mostly that's down to not being able to find the right shade in Asia) and wear what I want. As long as your weight isn't putting you at a risk of disease so that you won't be there for your children in the future then women shouldn't be going around feeling like they need to 'lose it'.

If you are healthy and happy then that's all that matters and happiness shouldn't come from following the rules set by some unknown entity that relies on the fact that we will give these rules meaning by accepting them as the norm. Realising that the Irish norm isn't the international norm really put everything in perspective for me. Why do we buy into this nonsense?

Why do people read or listen to crap like that and then take it on board. I know its hard that do, but what about thinking about what you are reading and listing to or at least contextualised it a bit. There is lots of interesting writing for women even about make up, writing that is uplifting helpful and interesting.

Its the media the more out there or the more controversial the more the coverage. Even my beloved Irish times is at it has anyone read the gloss.

As for the central point I think the emphases had changed to health in a lot of ways, running is hugely popular, the emphases is slowly changing to a fit and active life style as opposed to one all about how you present yourself to the world.

I live on the main spine of my estate so I see lot of people walking by, and there is a school near the estate the usual attire of the mothers is convers, skinny jeans and cardigans, I think it a really attractive practical look.

messy tessy

So this is the actual article:

http://www.independent.ie/style/celebrity/celebrity-features/pippa-oconnor-theres-no-excuses-for-sloppy-tracksuits-you-always-have-five-minutes-to-make-yourself-look-good-34482708.html

"A lot of it is about having and making time for yourself. You sometimes have to be a little bit selfish. You have to look at your child and think, 'OK, I am going to let your auntie or your granny or your dad take you out on Saturday afternoon, and I can go and get my nails done.' It's OK to do that. It doesn't make you a bad mother. You have to do what you need to keep yourself sane. They're not going to die. The house isn't going to fall down. If you don't take care of yourself, you're no good to anyone."

eviltwin

messy tessy wrote: »

So this is the actual article:

http://www.independent.ie/style/celebrity/celebrity-features/pippa-oconnor-theres-no-excuses-for-sloppy-tracksuits-you-always-have-five-minutes-to-make-yourself-look-good-34482708.html

"A lot of it is about having and making time for yourself. You sometimes have to be a little bit selfish. You have to look at your child and think, 'OK, I am going to let your auntie or your granny or your dad take you out on Saturday afternoon, and I can go and get my nails done.' It's OK to do that. It doesn't make you a bad mother. You have to do what you need to keep yourself sane. They're not going to die. The house isn't going to fall down. If you don't take care of yourself, you're no good to anyone."

She really is living in a different world isn't she?

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

She really is living in a different world isn't she?

Yes but that is what all those aspirational articles are about, they are very popular.

Darkglasses

mariaalice wrote: »

Yes but that is what all those aspirational articles are about, they are very popular.

It got a thread on boards, mission accomplished for them.

baby and crumble

HamsterFace wrote: »

I don't think men or women should let themselves go. You should always try to look sexy and nice for each other.

But if you're doing it for your partner then why does society get to pontificate about it? And who says that your partner may not like the slightly dishevelled look? Ok, I love my partner and I find her really sexy when she dresses up to the nines when we're out for the night, but tbh I find her just as sexy (if not sexier) when she's in yoga pants and sweaty after a dance class. I'm really attracted and fall in love with her a bit more when she's wrecked because she's been caring for her uncle for 5 hours in the hospital. You know?

From what I have read of these types of articles (I don't really read them much because I identify as more masculine than feminine so makeup etc just doesn't apply to me) it's about judging people, judging people you don't even know, most of the time. Your (I don't mean you, HamsterFace, I just mean in general) life must be very small if you're worried about what a randomer is or isn't wearing, or does or doesn't look like.

IvyTheTerrible

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice, either for yourself or for your partner. But to say "If you don't look after yourself, you're no good to anybody" is just awful. Not doing your nails doesn't make you a bad mother or a bad woman.

seamus

"If you don't take care of yourself, you're no good to anyone."

I believe this is actually a perfectly valid thing to say. However, when it's been tacked onto the end of a paragraph that talks about getting nails done, it devalues it. Because getting your nails done does not count as "taking care of yourself".

Eating (mostly) right, getting a relatively decent amount of sleep, getting an hour or two alone to be with your own thoughts, getting to spend the odd evening in adult company with friends or family, getting out for some exercise, even if it's a half hour walk. That's "taking care of yourself". Going for a nail appointment or getting a spray tan is not. Unless these things are relaxation or escape for you.

In my experience, for most women these are not relaxing things, but just another source of stress, another appointment you have to struggle to make lest you appear like a troll at <insert social event here>.

Neyite

She's admits she gets in a bad mood for the day if she doesn't have her hair, face and clothes spot on every morning. Yes, that IS superficial. Things that put me in a bad mood for the day are an unexpected bill or a car repair. Or a really stressful day at work. Tinted moisturiser? Nah.

I take her point about a mother taking a bit of time out to do something solely for her. But I prefer to do something that's a bit more rewarding than nice nails for a week personally. I never got the memo that because I go to a hobby 2 hours a week that I'm supposed to be an angst-riddled mother and pile the guilt on myself that my child will be irreparably damaged for life. Actually, that kind of Mammy-Martyr sh!te is really irritating. I really have no time for loaded 'celebs' who whine on about how hard it is to parent a healthy child. How difficult middle-class-motherhood is. It fcuking isn't. Try fighting for a medical card every single year for your disabled kid, Pippa. Or scraping together the money for a SALT because the waiting list is years and years long. That's hard. Some people in the real world have more pressing concerns in their lives than whether or not they wore nude eyeliner on the school run.

ash23

I get some of what she says in the article. I know that if I don't wash my hair and it's greasy and feels dirty then it does affect how I feel about myself on that day. I know that personally if I am wearing clothes I don't feel good in then it impacts how I feel on that day. I do like to have my nails and hair done and looking well.

But that's me. I don't for a second think any woman should feel bad about themselves if they are content to wear clothes that I would personally feel bad in. Or that all women should wear make up, get manicures and have highlights. These things make me feel good so I take the time and the money to do it.
Another woman might feel good about running every day or staying in her PJs and losing herself in a book.

I think all mothers should be more open to taking time for themselves to do whatever it is they want. I see some mothers I know who won't allow their partners/husbands to care for the children without getting involved. Who won't take time for themselves but then complain about not having time to do the things they want to do.

Obviously some people don't have that support or option but if you do I think you should take it. Being a mother is a full time job but for the majority it doesn't mean you cease to be the person you were pre-children or you have to forsake your own life to be a mother.
She has a point but has portrayed it in quite a shallow and superficial way imo.

LynnGrace

Neyite wrote: »

She's admits she gets in a bad mood for the day if she doesn't have her hair, face and clothes spot on every morning. Yes, that IS superficial. Things that put me in a bad mood for the day are an unexpected bill or a car repair. Or a really stressful day at work. Tinted moisturiser? Nah.

I take her point about a mother taking a bit of time out to do something solely for her. But I prefer to do something that's a bit more rewarding than nice nails for a week personally. I never got the memo that because I go to a hobby 2 hours a week that I'm supposed to be an angst-riddled mother and pile the guilt on myself that my child will be irreparably damaged for life. Actually, that kind of Mammy-Martyr sh!te is really irritating. I really have no time for loaded 'celebs' who whine on about how hard it is to parent a healthy child. How difficult middle-class-motherhood is. It fcuking isn't. Try fighting for a medical card every single year for your disabled kid, Pippa. Or scraping together the money for a SALT because the waiting list is years and years long. That's hard. Some people in the real world have more pressing concerns in their lives than whether or not they wore nude eyeliner on the school run.

Well said. I had heard the radio ad, and thought wtf. I think the article comes across as quite smug.

panda100

As someone said previously, what an awful article to feature on Mothers day and advertise such a negative quote on radio etc. Really, what is the purpose of that all, but to make women feel bad about themselves because they can't keep up the with the lifestyle and superficial beauty of Pippa O'Connor.

The Sunday Independent is absolutely poisonous to women. It makes me very sad that it's the most popular Sunday paper in this country.

messy tessy

panda100 wrote: »

As someone said previously, what an awful article to feature on Mothers day and advertise such a negative quote on radio etc. Really, what is the purpose of that all, but to make women feel bad about themselves because they can't keep up the with the lifestyle and superficial beauty of Pippa O'Connor.

The Sunday Independent is absolutely poisonous to women. It makes me very sad that it's the most popular Sunday paper in this country.

I think the radio advertisement was horrendous, but doesn't necessarily reflect the article (which while vapid and superficial) is at least not as insulting as the ad. It was an exceptionally poor choice of words, and I have to think even Pippa wouldn't like the article portrayed like this.

Keane2baMused

Neyite wrote: »

Try fighting for a medical card every single year for your disabled kid, Pippa. Or scraping together the money for a SALT because the waiting list is years and years long. That's hard. Some people in the real world have more pressing concerns in their lives than whether or not they wore nude eyeliner on the school run.

This is why I like Keith Duffy. He has pots of money but as much humility to go with it.

Only those who have walked that mile can ever really understand.

Sunny Dayz

I've had a look at the article in question - it's more waffle and the life history of Pippa and the article comes across as being fairly shallow and vacuous.


That said, I have looked at her blog from time to time and followed her on facebook - she comes across as a nice approachable person, not like the fame hungry bloggers we see now. (And no I'm not Pippa in disguise!!)


But do women really "let themselves go" after having a baby? Any women I know who have had babies, myself included, haven't changed since having their kids. I think they still dress and look the same as they did pre-baby!


I do my make up most mornings, I set out my clothes the night before to save me time and I take my quick showers. It really doesn't take much work to take care of yourself. Yes I've done the sleepless nights, I've recently been in and out of hospital with my boy etc. I've had the days of wearing no make up, hair tied up and trackies on but it only takes a few minutes to change my clothes, spray dry shampoo and a brush, bitta make up to make me feel human!

Dial Hard

Sunny Dayz wrote:

But do women really "let themselves go" after having a baby? Any women I know who have had babies, myself included, haven't changed since having their kids. I think they still dress and look the same as they did pre-baby!

I hate the term "let themselves go" but yes, I have seen plenty of women just stop making an effort, although moreso after getting married than having children, in my experience.

RacoonQueen

I only got as far as the headline in the article - I regularly leave the house in tracksuit bottoms to go shopping etc with my still wet hair from the shower thrown back in a ponytail and nothing but moisturiser on my face. I'm happy to leave the house like that, I don't judge people who wouldn't leave the house without a full face of make up, perfect hair etc
Can you not 'look nice' in a tracksuit? How does she define 'looking nice'??
It's horrible to think that I could go out feeling good about myself, comfortable and confident and be passing people that judge me, so what if I look 'sloppy' to you I'm fit, healthy, comfortable and confident.
I don't need to put make up on or have perfect hair etc to feel good about myself and while not all people who do enjoy wearing make up/getting hair and nails done etc would fit into my next bracket, some do and perhaps that is why they feel the need to try to bring people down - but some girls who can't leave the house without make up, highlights, a manicure etc would have low self esteem so to see someone out looking 'sloppy' but confident, makes them jealous that they can't bring themselves to do that.

My sister did once comment to me that she wished she could be more like me and be relaxed about and totally happy with her appearance.

ash23 wrote: »

I get some of what she says in the article. I know that if I don't wash my hair and it's greasy and feels dirty then it does affect how I feel about myself on that day. I know that personally if I am wearing clothes I don't feel good in then it impacts how I feel on that day. I do like to have my nails and hair done and looking well.

But that's me. I don't for a second think any woman should feel bad about themselves if they are content to wear clothes that I would personally feel bad in. Or that all women should wear make up, get manicures and have highlights. These things make me feel good so I take the time and the money to do it.
Another woman might feel good about running every day or staying in her PJs and losing herself in a book.

I think all mothers should be more open to taking time for themselves to do whatever it is they want. I see some mothers I know who won't allow their partners/husbands to care for the children without getting involved. Who won't take time for themselves but then complain about not having time to do the things they want to do.

Obviously some people don't have that support or option but if you do I think you should take it. Being a mother is a full time job but for the majority it doesn't mean you cease to be the person you were pre-children or you have to forsake your own life to be a mother.
She has a point but has portrayed it in quite a shallow and superficial way imo.

That's an excellent post.

baby and crumble

Dial Hard wrote: »

I hate the term "let themselves go" but yes, I have seen plenty of women just stop making an effort, although moreso after getting married than having children, in my experience.

Is that more a symptom of either just maturing and deciding that they'd rather look and feel a different way to how they have previously, or is it a symptom of having different priorities?

Nobody says boo to a guy who after he gets married develops the standard belly or decides to spend more time with his kids getting messy that lifting weights in the gym. Why is it different?

RacoonQueen

Sunny Dayz wrote: »

I do my make up most mornings, I set out my clothes the night before to save me time and I take my quick showers. It really doesn't take much work to take care of yourself. Yes I've done the sleepless nights, I've recently been in and out of hospital with my boy etc. I've had the days of wearing no make up, hair tied up and trackies on but it only takes a few minutes to change my clothes, spray dry shampoo and a brush, bitta make up to make me feel human!

See this is the part I take issue with from her, I'm not sure if that's what you're getting at too. It's not about spending time on something or making time for 'looking good'
I feel (and look) good without make up, I actually think I feel better without make up.
Does a person need makeup to feel human? I feel human without it - I don't care if someone else does wear make up, so why do some people seem to care that I do not?

This is one thing I hate about being female, that women are expected to wear makeup to work etc...why? men don't? if I present myself well in clean, neat clothes and my hair is clean and neat - why would I need makeup? Men don't have to wear makeup to work?

My appearance is not something I've ever placed much emphasis on. I enjoy getting dressed up and putting make up on when I'm going out and dressing myself up etc but there is no way I'd enjoy doing that every day, I certainly wouldn't consider it sloppy not to wear makeup (but I would since I don't wear it)

Dial Hard

baby and crumble wrote:

Is that more a symptom of either just maturing and deciding that they'd rather look and feel a different way to how they have previously, or is it a symptom of having different priorities?

I have no doubt that in some cases yes, it's the former. But I've seen so many remarkably consistent cases of it happening within six months to a year of the marriage to dismiss it always being a case of "maturing".

baby and crumble wrote:

Nobody says boo to a guy who after he gets married develops the standard belly or decides to spend more time with his kids getting messy that lifting weights in the gym. Why is it different?

Well, tbh, I personally haven't seen it happen with men to nearly the same degree as I have with women. And as I said above, these aren't necessarily women with children.

Neyite

Dial Hard wrote: »

I have no doubt that in some cases yes, it's the former. But I've seen so many remarkably consistent cases of it happening within six months to a year of the marriage to dismiss it always being a case of "maturing".

I generally put that down to the bride stopping what was a temporary regime during the wedding planning to diet or tone up, maybe grow hair out a bit or do lots of beauty treatments. (not all brides do, but a few I know did) Not letting themselves go as such but more like going back to a pre bride-to-be normal.

woodchuck

It sounds like the article has been taken out of context. The message isn't that 'women shouldn't let themselves go', it's that 'women should make time for themselves'. It just happens that her way of making time for herself is making herself look good. So what? A lot of people feel better after a bit of pampering. It's not what I would do personally, but I think her words have been twisted and I kind of feel sorry for her. Sure, her point of view is a bit shallow, but there's no malice there.

eviltwin

Dial Hard wrote: »

I hate the term "let themselves go" but yes, I have seen plenty of women just stop making an effort, although moreso after getting married than having children, in my experience.

Why is that a bad thing ?

baby and crumble

Dial Hard wrote: »

Well, tbh, I personally haven't seen it happen with men to nearly the same degree as I have with women. And as I said above, these aren't necessarily women with children.

I think the reason for that is that in general, mens appearances aren't remarked upon to the same degree as womens.

I would say of all my friends, if i were to say anything, it's the guys who "let themselves go" after getting into a serious relationship. Now, I don't actually believe they did but thinking back on how we all looked in school/ college, then yeah. The guys look a lot different how they did when we were younger. Bellies, bald spots, grey hairs... all those things that if a woman developed they'd be seen as "letting themselves go".

It's funny, because as a woman who is routinely mistaken for male (which has stopped bothering me if I'm honest) it's kinda fascinating. I, in lots of ways, are exactly the type of women that freaks people out most. I am not feminine, I do not wear makeup, I dress in masculine clothing. I am the poster child for "bad female" in many ways. So I get a weird attitude sometimes, but I also get sucked into it from the other side- guys seeing me as a weird threat (I am so not a threat) to women not knowing whether I'm a threat. It's mad some days. Some days I'll walk through BT's and someone from the makeup counter will visibly hesitate when I make eye contact. I can see them thinking "she looks female, but isn't wearing makeup. She seems ok with that. will I offend her if I ask her does she want to try makeup? Will I offend her if I don't?"

Wow that was a bit of a ramble. Sorry about that!

Dial Hard

eviltwin wrote:

Why is that a bad thing ?

Well if my husband had gone "Right, got her up the aisle, I can stop eating well, dressing well and generally looking after myself" after we got married I wouldn't have been very impressed and I'm sure plenty of other people would feel the same.

As Neyite said, some women go into overdrive in the run up to the wedding and are just returning to level afterwards, which is fine. But if someone had a certain level of grooming (for want of a better word) their entire adult life and then abandons it as soon as they get married, I find that quite odd and even a bit disrespectful to their partner, tbh. Doesn't really matter whether they're male or female.

meeeeh

When I heard the add I just thought to myself well I see Sindo are looking for outrage. I have no intention looking up the article because I really don't find Pippa O'Connor interesting enough to care but I suspect those who said it is taken a bit out of context are probably right.

That being said people are judged by appearance, I am not talking about mothers in particular but you probably won't be a prime candidate for a job if you show up to the interview in tracksuit and with greasy hair. Or the pyjamagate in UK is another example. I don't give a damn weather people wear make up or not but there are some minimum standards that need to be observed so it doesn't impact other aspects of our life.

pkvader

There's nothing wrong with looking after yourself as the years go bye,I'm with my partner 15 years,2 kids,and both of us have always made the effort as we got older.

Neyite

meeeeh wrote: »

That being said people are judged by appearance, I am not talking about mothers in particular but you probably won't be a prime candidate for a job if you show up to the interview in tracksuit and with greasy hair. Or the pyjamagate in UK is another example. I don't give a damn weather people wear make up or not but there are some minimum standards that need to be observed so it doesn't impact other aspects of our life.

I vividly remember my granny wearing a housecoat. Nylon/polyester thing she wore during the day to protect her clothes during housework but pretty much essentially a dressing gown of sorts. She'd have a headscarf and hair in rollers too, only to be removed for the bingo once a week. It was the norm. So is the pyjama brigade not just a modern-day version of that?

I do take your point that we are judged on appearance, and you dress appropriately for the occasion, but in this sense the article seems to be suggesting that there is an appropriate attire for motherhood. The creche teachers wear runners /comfy shoes and black tracksuit type trousers with a polo shirt and a hoodie. I see that attire as far more practical for childcare - its a messy, mucky job at times. Kids are sticky little tykes who have no qualms about using your cardigan hem as a tissue unbeknownst to yourself.

meeeeh

Neyite wrote: »

I vividly remember my granny wearing a housecoat. Nylon/polyester thing she wore during the day to protect her clothes during housework but pretty much essentially a dressing gown of sorts. She'd have a headscarf and hair in rollers too, only to be removed for the bingo once a week. It was the norm. So is the pyjama brigade not just a modern-day version of that?

I do take your point that we are judged on appearance, and you dress appropriately for the occasion, but in this sense the article seems to be suggesting that there is an appropriate attire for motherhood. The creche teachers wear runners /comfy shoes and black tracksuit type trousers with a polo shirt and a hoodie. I see that attire as far more practical for childcare - its a messy, mucky job at times. Kids are sticky little tykes who have no qualms about using your cardigan hem as a tissue unbeknownst to yourself.

I remember house coats, they said I am busy and I don't want to get dirty . Pyjamas just create an impression that you want to make sure nobody will actually think you want to work.

I know what you are saying and I hate the whole yummy mummy thing. Frankly I would rather spend me time reading a decent book than getting my nails done (btw I never got my nails done) but there are extremes on both sides of the son spectrum.

RacoonQueen

I see she's posted on her Facebook page about the reaction to this article
https://www.facebook.com/pippaoc/posts/1048187968556917

panda100

Thank you so much for the lovely comments and messages re yesterday's magazine shoot & article ☺
Just a little note on some things that have been brought to my attention- unfortunately some people/publications have twisted and misconstrued what I said to make it sound like I was preaching by claiming "there's no excuse for mothers not to make an effort" - it appears some people didn't even read the article correctly and are trying to get attention/hits/likes to their pages by using me to make something out of nothing!
Ordinarily I would never bat an eyelid at nonsense I hear/read.. But today I laughed out loud when I read "sure she doesn't work/ she has a nanny /she has time to make herself up everyday"
My business isn't successful by chance firstly- I work extremely hard for everything I have.
I don't have a nanny- although some days I'd love one wink emoticon
I don't know where the whole "tracksuit debate" came from when this wasn't even a topic of conversation during my interview.
I was asked what are my tips to busy mums who want to feel better but don't have the time.. My reply "well for me I never feel good when I tie up unwashed hair and throw on old tracksuit bottoms. So simply washing your hair, putting on tinted moisturiser and lick of mascara makes all the difference. It takes the same amount of time to put on your jeans as it does a tracksuit so you may as well"
I love my comfy clothes and runners as much as anyone - people that actually know me or follow me properly will know this. If someone wants to wear a tracksuit or not get dressed at all that's their own business but that's not what I was asked- I was asked what are my tips!! I certainly didn't say "there's no excuse to wear a tracksuit" how ridiculous!!
Every person /mother/woman should wear what they like or wear what makes them feel good.
I've had a child, I'm expecting another- I've had my fair share of pj days/greasy hair/ crying from exhaustion and round the clock breastfeeding. I'll be back there again soon and I'll cherish every moment of the madness. There was no judging or preaching on my behalf. We're all doing our best and nobody should be judged. It's very frustrating when comments get plucked out of context and twisted.
I actually can't believe the nonsense and bitchiness that goes on at times- surely there's more important things to be discussing and writing than making silly stories up about what I supposedly said.

This is what she said on her facebook.

Honestly, I think if she doesn't want what she said taken out of context then she should think very carefully about doing an interview with the Sunday Independent again. They were the ones advertising the negative comments and supposedly 'twisting' what she had to say. I saw the article in print version and they purposely highlighted the negative quotes of what she said. I think she should have called them out on that in her statement on facebook, but she doesn't and so the cosy relationship with Irish models and the sexist rag, the Sindo, continues......

panda100

panda100 wrote: »

This is what she said on her facebook.

Honestly, I think if she doesn't want what she said taken out of context then she should think very carefully about doing an interview with the Sunday Independent again. They were the ones advertising the negative comments and supposedly 'twisting' what she had to say. I saw the article in print version and they purposely highlighted the negative quotes of what she said. I think she should have called them out on that in her statement on facebook, but she doesn't and so the cosy relationship with Irish models and the sexist rag, the Sindo, continues......

She is depending on them for a living on the one hand and on the other there is having principles.

The Sunday independent is very popular so that sort of stuff must be popular or it wouldn't sell.

What is odd is the rest of the media has largely moved on from that tone of coverage of women.

Neyite

panda100 wrote: »

This is what she said on her facebook.

*grumpily puts down pitchfork*