8 year old and play dates

mauraf

Hi

I have an 8 year old Daughter. She is a quiet enough child, has 1 really close friend in school, and others that she plays with - but one who she gets on brilliantly with.
To date, I have never ever once had an issue with her going to school - skips in every day - never a bad word, other than the 'odd', " Mary was naughty today because she hit John", type of thing. Socially, teacher has said she is happy and mixes well.

I have a couple of 'concerns', but to be honest, I am not sure if I really need to be worried....so am looking for advice or something!!

- She doesnt get invited to playdates. Now, I do know that some in the class are invited to each others houses, but I think that may be more for the mothers and they know each other, more than anything else. I work FT, so struggle with the playdates anyway mid week - in terms of inviting kiddies over to me
- I have had her best pal over a few times, and the favour has been returned , but thats it. I also meet up with her best pal, and her best pals mother every few months or so for a 'play' somewhere

I dont know am I worried about nothing to be honest. She is quiet, but can appear standoffish until she gets to know you. Has no problem 'joining' groups - I started her recently in a drama group where she knew no-one, and she barely wanted me to walk her to the hall! And loves it...

Should I be concerned re the playdate thing? My husband tells me not to worry, Daughter isnt worried and loves school - so not sure I should be!!

Its also her birthday soon, and while the school have a policy to invite the whole class to whatever is going on - I am not sure she (or I) want that! Any ideas on what to do here would be appreciated too!

Thanks

Maura

Neyite

Mod:

Maura, I've edited your post - we don't use acronyms like DD, DS DH, here on boards, they are not permitted because they are naff confuse and are exclusionary. Can you use Daughter from here on?

dori_dormer

How big is the class? If it's 15+ how can they reasonably expect every parent to cater for that many kids? I know in my friends child's school if you want the teacher to hand out the invites it has to be all boys, or all girls or everyone. But if you do it on your own time in the playground during pick up you can invite who you want.

Regarding play dates I don't think they are a big deal. I thought they were for preschool kids who had stay at home moms and both parents and kids needed some socialisation. I don't think I ever had one when I was growing up.

Does she play with any kids on the street after school? Has she mentioned she'd like to have any other kids over?

looksee

If you can avoid getting into the nonsense that is children's parties, do! Why not take her and the friend somewhere special, to the cinema and McDonalds, or what ever she wants to do. Much better she had an enjoyable time with someone she wants to be with than a competitive rabble of children she barely knows outside school.

rainbowtrout

mauraf wrote: »

Hi


Should I be concerned re the playdate thing? My husband tells me not to worry, Daughter isnt worried and loves school - so not sure I should be!!

Its also her birthday soon, and while the school have a policy to invite the whole class to whatever is going on - I am not sure she (or I) want that! Any ideas on what to do here would be appreciated too!

Thanks

Maura

If your daughter is happy then I don't see why you need to start playdates because it's what everyone else does.

Also that school policy is a load of balls in my opinion. They don't have any right to tell you who to invite into your home. That, and some kids just don't get along, that shouldn't be forced upon any child. More rubbish that has been imported from across the atlantic.

mordeith

That policy sounds kinda weird. Most schools I'm aware of (including my kids) just confine handling invites till after school hours.
Anyway back on topic. Our son is also eight and he has a small social group (two or three kids he actually likes) and he's fine with that.

AvyStreet

Try mixing with the other mums, having more than just the one close friend at a time will be good for her.