Worried about future.

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm so so so worried about my future. I'm currently in second year of college doing a rather specialist science course and can't imagine I'll get a decent job after this, I can't stop thinking about it I've had a beautiful girlfriend for the past three years and she has such great plans for her future and I just feel like I'll never be able to make her happy in the future (we've spoken about our future together and both feel that we don't want to be with anyone else), she has so much ambition and rightly so, she's the smartest person I've ever known, but I feel like I'm just going to drag her down.. I know I make her happy now, but I don't know if I'm going to ruin her plans for the future.. All I want to do is provide her with the best, because she deserves it but I don't think I'll be able to For example, the field I'll probably be working in is profoundly underdeveloped all over Ireland, but she's told me she doesn't want to move abroad, something I don't particularly want to do either, but it would probably be the best for me careers wise.. What if she'll never be happy abroad?

Any advice? Maybe I'm not thinking of myself enough, putting too much emphasis on my girlfriends happiness? I know for sure that I'm getting way too ahead of myself but I can't help it..

Jay Pentatonic

Hey man,

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you're pretty young? I swear I could've written your exact post myself when I was in my late teens/early 20's.

You need to look out for yourself, you need to make yourself your own priority. You are the most important person in your life.

To me, a lot of your post screams that you value your GF far more than you value yourself. That's not being fair to yourself man, at least not to an emotional level.

I had a GF when I was in my early 20's (4 year relationship), she was (at the time) the most intelligent, driven, passionate and of course beautiful girl I ever knew. She eventually dumped me and I was in a HUGE amount of emotional pain for 2 years after that.

But nowadays (now in my late 20's) I look back and think about how much better off I am without her, and how much of a waste of time those last few months with her (as well as those 2 years getting over her) were! We were just kids back then and knew nothing about life. But back then I put her on a pedestal, I overly idolized her and basically felt like I should feel honoured that she'd even consider going out with me.
That is not right. That is not a way to live life. You need to ask yourself WHAT is it EXACTLY that YOU want to do with YOUR life, and then just go for it man.

If you need to focus on a career and therefore break up, then yeah it hurts...and yeah you'll feel pain, but believe me...life will eventually move on (wink wink, nudge nudge) and there's a good chance you'll be the happiest you've ever been...I certainly know I am (again with the wink wink, nudge nudge).

Enough of me man, just do what your heart says.

Dughorm

Worried Student in Ireland wrote: »

Hi,

I'm so so so worried about my future. I'm currently in second year of college doing a rather specialist science course and can't imagine I'll get a decent job after this, I can't stop thinking about it .

Why? What's prompted this in you now? Two years ago you picked this course what's happened since?

I hope you find what I'm about to say comforting if a little blunt - your choice of degree is a non-problem.

You will graduate with an honours degree in science if you like your course and work hard.

1. you can always transfer within science courses in your college if you wanted (i'm fairly sure of this despite not knowing your course).

2. you can always do a conversion post grad diploma in a more employable area.

3. maths/tech skills are very valued here even if you went into finance, management consultancy, civil service etc... there are loads of options especially if you happen to be in Dublin.

4. There should be no NEED to go abroad to progress in your area - you could probably do a postgrad in Ireland in it anyway.

Thargor

OP something I wish somebody had told me when I was leaving college is that in Ireland and the UK a science degree even if very specialized can be used to apply for nearly everything, they're really looking at your attitude in the interview. Dont get depressed thinking you'll never have a job, there is high demand for all science graduates at the minute.

I also wish Id been told how important a masters or phd was to break into the high wages earlier aswell though, dont assume you're done once you finish the degree...

pookie82

I feel for you OP, and get the feeling you're still very young.

I'm going to echo what others have said but it's important to reiterate. If you love your course, keep at it. Keep the head down, get a high result, and then look at your post grad options. A Masters nowadays is becoming what a degree was 10 years ago, and can be pretty necessary to break into the seriously high wage brackets, depending on your choice of career. So you could always use a post grad to redirect your focus into something with a higher chance of employment once you graduate. I know a great deal of people whose undergrad and Masters barely related to each other and their success in both showed their ability to adapt and excel and made them hugely employable.

I myself studied something incredibly niche for almost a decade and I've been solidly employed since leaving University, right through the recession. My employment isn't directly related to what I studied (I love both) but the skills I mastered throughout third level education were applicable to a wide range of disciplines.

On the girlfriend note - slow down. As much as you think now you have found the one and she's your forever, that may not work out as you think. Maybe she'll be your future wife and mother of your kids, maybe you guys will grow apart and split up in a year. You have no way of guaranteeing either, so concentrate on yourself for now, and education, and let the rest work itself out.

Always, ALWAYS, put education first. It's literally the best thing you can do with your life.