Dual language upbringing

jester77

Anyone here have experience bringing up their children in a dual language home.

I'm living in Germany and my son speaks German and answers me in German whenever I talk with him in English. I would be the only person he hears daily speaking English, apart from the odd TV programmes he watches in English and that wouldn't even be every day. He knows English, as when I say to him "and how does daddy say that", then he will reply in English. My parents don't get to visit too often and when we skype, he will answer to them in German and they have no idea what he is saying until I translate. The conversation quickly dies out so there is no real connection between them at the moment.

Has anyone experience with this?

Tabnabs

Kids are well able for dual language households, in Ireland they have to get to grips with three languages once Irish is introduced at school. Keep speaking English to him and even if he replies in German, at least he is getting frequent and repeated exposure to the language.

neckedit

jester77 wrote: »

Anyone here have experience bringing up their children in a dual language home.

I'm living in Germany and my son speaks German and answers me in German whenever I talk with him in English. I would be the only person he hears daily speaking English, apart from the odd TV programmes he watches in English and that wouldn't even be every day. He knows English, as when I say to him "and how does daddy say that", then he will reply in English. My parents don't get to visit too often and when we skype, he will answer to them in German and they have no idea what he is saying until I translate. The conversation quickly dies out so there is no real connection between them at the moment.

Has anyone experience with this?

No kids personally, but my Bro lives in Germany too, Married to a Dutch girl, ,the 2 nephews speak with him in German and English, and Dutch, German and English with the SiL very impressive to witness, throw the Dutch grandmother into the mix and it get surreal, She speak both German and Dutch. Not really usefull to you but I'm sure he'll master English too given time.

Xdancer

My daughter is growing up with 3 languages (English with me, French with my OH and Spanish is the community language). She has always been OK with English and Spanish, but her French was always like your son's English. She understood everything, but never really spoke it. However since she turned 4, she is slowly beginning to speak it. She has a vast vocabulary but finds it hard to make sentences. She is slowly but surely improving.

My advice to you would be to make English "necessary" - if he asks you for something, tell him he has to ask you in English as that is your language. When he starts realising that he " needs" the language, he may start using it.

It can be tough going, particularly when they know you speak their other language, but I can only speak for our experience and this is what seems to be working for us.

Roselm

jester77 wrote: »

Anyone here have experience bringing up their children in a dual language home.

I'm living in Germany and my son speaks German and answers me in German whenever I talk with him in English. I would be the only person he hears daily speaking English, apart from the odd TV programmes he watches in English and that wouldn't even be every day. He knows English, as when I say to him "and how does daddy say that", then he will reply in English. My parents don't get to visit too often and when we skype, he will answer to them in German and they have no idea what he is saying until I translate. The conversation quickly dies out so there is no real connection between them at the moment.

Has anyone experience with this?

This is a typical pattern.
In your case English is the "minority" language in that more people speak German to your child than English. In order to counteract the strength of the "majority" language you need more people speaking English.Can your other half speak English? The research would say if your child's mum spoke either only English or even a mixture of English and German, that your child is more likely to speak English (as well as German)

jester77

Roselm wrote: »

This is a typical pattern.
In your case English is the "minority" language in that more people speak German to your child than English. In order to counteract the strength of the "majority" language you need more people speaking English.Can your other half speak English? The research would say if your child's mum spoke either only English or even a mixture of English and German, that your child is more likely to speak English (as well as German)

She speaks English but only talks in German with him, we try and not mix the languages as we thought it may only confuse him. I must look into that.

IvyTheTerrible

My son is just like this. We live in France, I speak only English to him, and my husband and everyone else my son some into contact with speaks French.
He understands absolutely everything I say to him in English but he answers me in French. He will put English words into those sentences but never a full sentence.
I've read that it can be due to need. So, he knows I understand him, so he doesn't NEED to speak English to me. I have to come up with ways for him to need to use English but without pushing him away from the language.

eezipc

A couple I know (She is Estonian with Russian parents, he is Bangladeshi) They have two kids.
The oldest girl is around 4 now and she can switch between Estonian, Russian, Bangladeshi and English seamlessly. It's quite remarkable to watch.
She was not that good when she was a bit younger but I think it was confusing for her. However, now it is no problem to her. The parents don't do anything different. Estonian is spoken with the mother, Bangladeshi with the father, Russian with the grandparents (and the mothers friends) and English probably comes from tv and school.
I say not to worry about it too much. No doubt in a couple of years you will be jealous of your sons' fantastic English and German.

eezipc

A couple I know (She is Estonian with Russian parents, he is Bangladeshi) They have two kids.
The oldest girl is around 4 now and she can switch between Estonian, Russian, Bangladeshi and English seamlessly. It's quite remarkable to watch.
She was not that good when she was a bit younger but I think it was confusing for her. However, now it is no problem to her. The parents don't do anything different. Estonian is spoken with the mother, Bangladeshi with the father, Russian with the grandparents (and the mothers friends) and English probably comes from tv and school.
I say not to worry about it too much. No doubt in a couple of years you will be jealous of your sons' fantastic English and German.

IvyTheTerrible

eezipc wrote: »

A couple I know (She is Estonian with Russian parents, he is Bangladeshi) They have two kids.
The oldest girl is around 4 now and she can switch between Estonian, Russian, Bangladeshi and English seamlessly. It's quite remarkable to watch.
She was not that good when she was a bit younger but I think it was confusing for her. However, now it is no problem to her. The parents don't do anything different. Estonian is spoken with the mother, Bangladeshi with the father, Russian with the grandparents (and the mothers friends) and English probably comes from tv and school.
I say not to worry about it too much. No doubt in a couple of years you will be jealous of your sons' fantastic English and German.

I'm already jealous of my son's French! He has a perfect accent, I'll never sound like that!

Xdancer

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

I'm already jealous of my son's French! He has a perfect accent, I'll never sound like that!

I know how you feel....my daughter makes me jealous with how easily she rolls her rs in Spanish. She has taken it upon herself to teach me too.....unsuccessfully for the moment!
My French is better than hers though....for the moment!

jester77

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

My son is just like this. We live in France, I speak only English to him, and my husband and everyone else my son some into contact with speaks French.
He understands absolutely everything I say to him in English but he answers me in French. He will put English words into those sentences but never a full sentence.
I've read that it can be due to need. So, he knows I understand him, so he doesn't NEED to speak English to me. I have to come up with ways for him to need to use English but without pushing him away from the language.

I have noticed that when he wants something and I don't let him have it, he will ask multiple times in German, then pause and ask in English. I never thought of it like how you put it, must try and put him in the need situation more often.

galah

Same here just the other way round - i speak German, everyone else speaks English, so my son speaks English back to me. He would throw in the odd German word, and knows the translations, so i'm not too worried ( he told me this evening about how a "Buckelwal" is a humpback whale in English - he's just turned four, so that's pretty good going )

I find that his German becomes more prevalent when he spends more time with Germans such as his grandparents, so we're trying to maximise time with them whenever we can. Also friends who speak German (and other kids!) can be helpful in picking up more of the language.

But at the end of the day, i'm not too worried - both kids already have more understanding of foreign languages than i had as a child, and i'm doing just fine...:P

skallywag

I'm also living in a German speaking country and have a daughter together with a native German speaker.

The key to this is for the child to be put under the impression that your understanding of German is very limited or near non-existent, i.e. her mum speaks to me in only English, but to her in German. This has worked very well and my daughter never speaks to me in German. On the other hand I know of several other couples here who are in a similar situation but are facing the classic problem of the child speaking back in the primary language, i.e. German, but in all of those instances the child's German speaking parent is speaking German to the English speaker.

I'd also recommend him to watch TV in English when he has his TV time. I know a lot of folk are anti too much TV for kids, etc, but when learning a minority language then it's a huge plus.

dori_dormer

From what I understand from friends who have dual language homes, the easiest for the child is each adult only speaking one language. So my friend speaks Bulgarian to the kids, and her husband speaks English. They understand both perfectly well. But they do know their mother understands English, and their dad doesn't know Bulgarian. Her 6 yr old could tell at 3 that her grandparents didn't know any english.
Kids aparently choose the language that's easiest for them. So if they know words easier in one language they'll chose that one. It's not recommended to force kids to use a specific language when young anyway. What's wrong with translating a bit to your parents?

glack

jester77 wrote: »

Anyone here have experience bringing up their children in a dual language home.

I'm living in Germany and my son speaks German and answers me in German whenever I talk with him in English. I would be the only person he hears daily speaking English, apart from the odd TV programmes he watches in English and that wouldn't even be every day. He knows English, as when I say to him "and how does daddy say that", then he will reply in English. My parents don't get to visit too often and when we skype, he will answer to them in German and they have no idea what he is saying until I translate. The conversation quickly dies out so there is no real connection between them at the moment.

Has anyone experience with this?

What age is your child?

jester77

dori_dormer wrote: »

What's wrong with translating a bit to your parents?

Nothing wrong, but would be nice if they could talk with each other.

glack wrote: »

What age is your child?

He just turned 27 months at the weekend

IvyTheTerrible

dori_dormer wrote: »

From what I understand from friends who have dual language homes, the easiest for the child is each adult only speaking one language. So my friend speaks Bulgarian to the kids, and her husband speaks English. They understand both perfectly well. But they do know their mother understands English, and their dad doesn't know Bulgarian. Her 6 yr old could tell at 3 that her grandparents didn't know any english.
Kids aparently choose the language that's easiest for them. So if they know words easier in one language they'll chose that one. It's not recommended to force kids to use a specific language when young anyway. What's wrong with translating a bit to your parents?

I know in my experience, my son gets very frustrated when he's alone with my parents because they don't understand him. So then he acts out.
When I visit home it means it's complicated to leave him alone with them for anything more than a short time.

dori_dormer

I think at only just gone 2 like the op child, communication is going to be frustrating regardless. My 2 yr old has a speech delay, so pretty much no one even us his parents know what he is saying. Or what he wants. He largely gets by with pointing and grabbing our hands and brining us places. Or there's my sister in law who when little would mumble and wouldn't answer in most cases. Turns out she was practically deaf in one ear.
I think it's a lot to be asking a two year old to hold a conversation with grandparents over skype in just one particular language. I'd be often explaining to our sons grandparents on Skype what he was up to and Doing and he'd just bring over pictures or new toys to show them.

galah

I think that's when the 'necessity' comes in - when talking to my parents, my son knows he won't get too far with English, so he will use more and more German - and then learning more as his brain is focussing on German more when he's around them.

I find it quite hard sometimes to speak German (as i'm thinking in English, been here so long it comes easier to me than German at times) but again, even if they hear a little bit, they will have a foundation to build upon (that should at least guarantee them a good leaving cert result :P).

glack

jester77 wrote: »

He just turned 27 months at the weekend

Sounds like he is just about right for his age!! I wouldn't worry. Sounds like he is doing great.

munchkin_utd

jester77 wrote: »

<snip>My parents don't get to visit too often and when we skype, he will answer to them in German and they have no idea what he is saying until I translate. The conversation quickly dies out so there is no real connection between them at the moment.

Has anyone experience with this?

heard a funny story like this

one of the lads landed back to Dublin from Germany with the child. Kid has a german mother so only spoke German (as per your case, understood english, as per ususal the kid tending to the mothers language).

One day he left the child with the parents, and met some friends in the pub to watch a big football match. Half way through gets a call that the child is unhappy, or sick, or something. Grandparents havent a clue what hes saying.
He abonds his mates, lands back fearing the worst, and the kid comes out with "Ich habe durst" - im thirsty !

So yea, it happens.