How often do you take a dump ?

Ally Dick

I know that there is another poo-centric thread on here, but this is a bit different. I got talking to my buddies last night, and one of them told me that he goes to the jacks for a sit down once a week. I was shocked. I go every morning before my shower....but rarely twice....unless I have been drinking and eating rubbish. Is once a week more normal than once a day ?

Man11

Something wrong there if its once , every morning before my shower too.
Tell him to get checked . Defo not normal

The acceptable range is once every 9 days, or 9 times a day. Outside that, get help.

Wait, no, that's masturbation.

antodeco

2 - 3 times a day depending how my intestines are feeling

The Moldy Gowl

My company makes a dollar while I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time.

Stoned Since 2011

I scour 9 times a day.

Fleawuss

Why are my bowel movements of interest to the net? Slow night for the NSA?

thunderdog

2 is the magic number

a fat guy

Once a day, unless I've had very little to eat (I just don't get hungry if I stay inside all day, meaning no poop) or if I've had a coffee (laxative!).

Sounds like your friends is up **** creek OP.

con___manx1

I gave up the fags on the 1st of January and now taking more regular dumps than I used too.usually once a day where before it could be every two or 3 days.

Ally Dick

Ever since I've had haemorroids, my dumps are considerably smaller in size

ardinn

I can go a week - I told the doc and he says "sure if thats what ye do thats what ye do" - But normally 3/5 days!!

blade1

Fleawuss wrote: »

Why are my bowel movements of interest to the net? Slow night for the NSA?

Whats the NSA?
National Shîtters association?

My name is URL

ardinn wrote: »

I can go a week - I told the doc and he says "sure if thats what ye do thats what ye do" - But normally 3/5 days!!

Eat some vegetables ffs!

RobertKK

Once a week????

Fibre people, fibre, what the hell are these people eating?
Also drink enough water.

DEFTLEFTHAND

There used to be a man on here years ago who was very well versed on this particular subject. His insight is sorely missed on threads like this.

beertons

Twice a day, like clockwork. After brekkie, after dinner. Ever day. Just like my dad. I try to get to the jacks before him, otherwise it's a bit stinky.

fleet_admiral

Whenever my Camilla Parkers come calling, Im like clockwork in the morning when I get up though

fleet_admiral

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

There used to be a man on here years ago who was very well versed on this particular subject. His insight is sorely missed on threads like this.

Good ole Flut

Hammer89

Ally Dick wrote: »

I know that there is another poo-centric thread on here, but this is a bit different. I got talking to my buddies last night, and one of them told me that he goes to the jacks for a sit down once a week. I was shocked. I go every morning before my shower....but rarely twice....unless I have been drinking and eating rubbish. Is once a week more normal than once a day ?

He's full of sh*t either way.

JackieBauer

BOOM BOOM POO

ToddyDoody

Does your poo go grey when you get old?

Utdfan20titles

Depends how much **** I eat

Gael23

Always once a day, sometimes twice. But rarely at the same time each day.

I got a serious bout of constipation 2 years ago which nearly landed me in hospital so if I don't have movement daily ever since, I take something to make sure I do

Fleawuss

blade1 wrote: »

Whats the NSA?
National Shîtters association?

Yes.

Ally Dick

Your sh1t goes white if you eat bone marrow, and it goes black if you are taking iron

The_Valeyard

Wow, two sh*t threads in AH today :P

micar

Ally Dick wrote: »

Your sh1t goes white if you eat bone marrow, and it goes black if you are taking iron

That's why you sometimes come across white dog poo. But, it was more common years ago.

Ally Dick

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Wow, two sh*t threads in AH today :P

Yeah. Sh1t happens. And I am watching poo inspections on Big Brother too, taped from last night

Ally Dick

Stoned Since 2011 wrote: »

Just managed a shwank there.

What in god's name is that ?

Stoned Since 2011

Ally Dick wrote: »

What in god's name is that ?

Its only for grown ups.

Vowel Movement

I give birth to a monster every other day.

Stigura

I'm a twice a day type. Might manage three, sometimes.

First off, I always have a good old purge at 08:00. Regular as clockwork. That's nasty. Because I don't get up till 09:00. (Yeah. That old one. At least it's out of the way now )

But, yes, that first mug of tea sends me running. Sometimes I'll revisit well within the hour. If not? I'll generally sneak back between dinner and bed time.

Surely anyone who doesn't go for days on end should be questioning that?

Captain Chaos

Ally Dick wrote: »

, and it goes black if you are taking iron

Or if you have a few pints of the black stuff the night before.

Harry Palmr

Every 24-36 hours as a rule, something that is clear is that the "worse" your diet the less often you'll empty your bowels. Bran (and bran flakes), prunes, cooked apple are all helpful as is nothing more exciting than a tall glass of water every day.

Stoned Since 2011

I find if I go a day or more without a dump I almost always manage a ghostie.

The_Valeyard

Stoned Since 2011 wrote: »

I find if I go a day or more without a dump I almost always manage a ghostie.

Ghostie?

Stoned Since 2011

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Ghostie?

Do the youth of today not know anything?

ToddyDoody

What's the difference between poo and diarrhoea?

Answer: Embarrassment.

Bulbous Salutation

Ally Dick wrote: »

What in god's name is that ?

It's like a blumpkin only carried out solo.

Harry Palmr

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Ghostie?

I actually googled this! Its the perfect poo - the one that leaves no trace on your hole. The almost wipe-free evacuation. I can't believe this is a thread. Standards are terrible!

Stoned Since 2011

Harry Palmr wrote: »

I actually googled this! Its the perfect poo - the one that leaves no trace on your hole. The almost wipe-free evacuation. I can't believe this is a thread. Standards are terrible!

And no need to flush either as it has so much momentum it goes through the u bend. With the water charges now this needs to become part of school criteria.

Ally Dick

Bulbous Salutation wrote: »

It's like a blumpkin only carried out solo.

Ha ha ha. I know what a blumpkin is

seamusk84

Twice a day on weekdays when I am working. Stress and all that pushes things along I suppose.

Weekends can be odd, haven't been to the crapper since yesterday afternoon.

Fat Christy

Twice a day usually. Sometimes more, sometimes less but always everyday. Once a week? Jaysus, I'd be backed up. I eat all the things.

Wibbs

Twice a day type here too. A week? I'd be calling a foookin ambulance.

con___manx1 wrote: »

I gave up the fags on the 1st of January and now taking more regular dumps than I used too.usually once a day where before it could be every two or 3 days.

Funny enough I was the opposite. When I gave up the fags I bound up ta… for a couple of months.

RobertKK wrote: »

Once a week????

Fibre people, fibre, what the hell are these people eating?
Also drink enough water.

+1. I have the diet profile of a near pure carnivore and I'm rocking the twice, even thrice a day. Something's very wrong if it goes less than once per day for any length of time. Actually when I went near vegan for a time my guts suffered and I went from oh god, is this dysentery to I have a growing hard packed poo baby growing inside me. Flesh is my fibre it seems.

Adorable

Twice a day, sometimes thrice a day.

Ally Dick wrote: »

Is once a week more normal than once a day ?

Definitely not. I would be incredibly worried if I was only defecating once a week. Your friend must have an extremely poor diet and/or is not exercising.

shamrock2004

I pop 4 - 5 senokot first thing every single morning to keep me regular, and the 1 more before bed time. I sh1t by them.. I mean swear by them.

Stoned Since 2011

shamrock2004 wrote: »

I pop 4 - 5 senokot first thing every single morning to keep me regular, and the 1 more before bed time. I sh1t by them.. I mean swear by them.

4-5 senokot would make you poop more watery than piss.

VW 1

Minimum 3, usually 4 times a day.

Herself is comfortable at once ever 3-4 days, it confounds me how anyone could be comfortable with this.

mynameis905

shamrock2004 wrote: »

I pop 4 - 5 senokot first thing every single morning to keep me regular, and the 1 more before bed time. I sh1t by them.. I mean swear by them.

Bad, bad, bad, bad idea. You will ruin your digestive system by doing this. Get enough water and fibre and talk to your GP about an osmotic laxative if you must. Stimulant laxatives will cause you misery in the long term.