Think I'm depressed, pretty scared

LegacyUser

Hi,

I've never had any kinds of issues like this before, but I'm a bit concerned about my mental health at the moment and would like some advice.

Approximately four months ago I smoked some marijuana with a couple of friends. I'm not a regular drug user at all, and it would probably have been a couple of years before that when I last smoked it. I've never done any stronger drugs than that. However in this instance when I did it I had a really bad experience – I felt detached from reality in a bad way, loss of focus, couldn't communicate properly, and was really depressed. My friend put me to bed, but I felt the same way for another two or three days. It was really scary and upsetting, and I was afraid that I had done permanent damage and that I would never regain my focus. My friends had no such reaction, and reassured me that I was overthinking things. Eventually I recovered and have not had that kind of experience since.

Then a couple of weeks ago I was drinking for three consecutive nights – not an excessive amount or anything, not particularly wild nights, but it was my birthday weekend. After the second night I started to feel depressed, and I spent most of the day in bed. I soldiered on and went out the third night, eventually feeling better and having a good time.

Now it has been over a week since that weekend, but I have had what feels like depression since then. It's pretty persistent, and feels like some kind of fog in my head, similar enough to what I felt when I smoked marijuana that time. It's really unsettling and I find throughout the day that I have to try and find distractions from it. I'm tempted to listen to white noise or something even. I can interact normally, but when I'm not talking to anyone there is a horrible sadness in my head.

I am not a sad person, I have nothing to be sad about really. I'm a very driven and motivated person. I'm making good progress in my career. Everything is going according to plan. On a day to day basis I am just not sad.

This feels like some kind of physical or biochemical problem, not an emotional one. I'm concerned that there is something wrong with my head/brain or something else. I just want to get it sorted so that I can carry on with my life as it was before.

I'd appreciate any suggestions or ideas on this. I have no history of this kind of thing, and don't know what I need to do.

I presume the advice will be to go to a GP to talk about it. I'd like to do that, and hopefully get some tests on my blood or brain or something. Can anyone recommend a GP in the Islandbridge/Kilmainham/D8 area with good knowledge of mental health issues like this? I don't currently have a GP, and have moved house recently.

Thank you.

nkav86

I would definitely suggest a gp although I don't know the area, I'm sorry. But don't beat yourself up, you say you've nothing to be sad about, but depression doesn't need a big drama to come to the surface, sometimes it just does. That's if it is depression, the alcohol and smoke seems to have triggered or caused something here, it may have just heightened feelings or brought something to the surface you never knew was there. As you said it's a new experience for you, but I wouldn't panic, it may just be something you need to identify and work through, but don't do it alone, speak to friends/family, and never disregard your feelings just because others have it harder than you, they're valid and they're yours. I hope my ramblings make sense and I hope you feel better soon, best of luck to you.

Roselm

Did you have a look at mentalhealthireland.ie?
They have some info on depression. Nothing about specific GPs though

ubermick

Is it possible that what you smoked was laced with something? Often times (at least here in California), marijuana is medically prescribed to people with depression, so doubt it had that effect on you. (I use it myself in edible form to deal with insomnia)

Could be that it might have brought something to the surface that you've not dealt with. Be careful with alcohol too at the moment - it's a recognized depressant, and would likely make your situation worse, especially if you over indulge.

Depression is a nasty thing, and nothing at all to be ashamed of. Would definitely echo what nkav said, and take yourself to your GP and have them refer you to a counsellor or psychiatrist. Be 100% open and honest with them.

Afroshack

I literally could have written this myself. It's very possible you have been repressing some feelings that the drug sort of "unlocked" inside your mind and now it's feeling very overwhelming for you. I had the same experience with mushrooms and I have felt worse and worse as time goes on. Please seek help OP. Even emailing the samaritans to get everything out could be massively helpful. It gave me a lot of perspective. Best of luck.

Drumpot

I gave up drinking a few years ago and have to say that it helped lift that fog you mentioned. It's not like I was drinking every night, it was more alcohol is as mentioned a substance that doesn't help anxiety or depression.

I would be concerned that people with anxiety and depression like me are unwittingly self medicating with alcohol. The old "it relaxes me" or I like to "let loose" is ok for people who can take it or leave it. However when it starts to negatively impact your mental and/or physical health it seems to be something many people can't always objectively evaluate. I speak from experience , not a tower looking down on anybody.

My suggestion is to stop taking any recreational drug (including alcohol) , goto your GP and see if there are any therapys he can recommend. For me anti depressants, sleeping tablets and Xanax are OK to help get balanced but the real work starts in therapy. The goal should mostly be to learn the tools to be able to live a life free of any medication or mind altering substances.

Good luck OP.

Shrap

I am not a sad person, I have nothing to be sad about really. I'm a very driven and motivated person. I'm making good progress in my career. Everything is going according to plan. On a day to day basis I am just not sad.

This feels like some kind of physical or biochemical problem, not an emotional one. I'm concerned that there is something wrong with my head/brain or something else. I just want to get it sorted so that I can carry on with my life as it was before.

I think what you've said first here is a good sign that you think this way about yourself and it's great to know this is where you're usually at! The second paragraph you can only get advice from a GP on, and while I can't give medical advice, I think I can say (without coming up against the charter here!) that some people's brain chemistry is definitely more "finely tuned" than others (myself included) and the balance of it can be tipped quite dramatically by use of recreational drugs, even once. But it can also re balance itself OP. Definitely go to the GP for advice and hopefully reassurance.

Shrap

ubermick wrote: »

Is it possible that what you smoked was laced with something? Often times (at least here in California), marijuana is medically prescribed to people with depression, so doubt it had that effect on you. (I use it myself in edible form to deal with insomnia)

It certainly can and does effect some people that way, even straight up home-grown. I have learned to avoid it. It takes everyone differently just like any other drug, including prescription drugs. Also, different strains of the weed have very different psychoactive properties, so there's no way of knowing which of these (if any) have possibly triggered a bout of depression for the OP.