Crazy inventions... what one would you make?

sryanbruen

If you could instantly make an invention (one per person), what would it be?

Mine would be fluency tablets LOL. You become fluent into the language the tablet is prescribed for.

Capt'n Midnight

Have the tablets been tested on animals ?

dxhound2005

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Have the tablets been tested on animals ?

Yes, by Dr Dolittle.

Sprog 4

Some sort of mind shield.

maudgonner

A mute button that works on everything.

Screaming child on the bus? Mute it.
Annoying dripping tap? Mute it.
Co-workers droning on and on about mindless rubbish? Mute them.
Traffic noise keeping you awake? And that's muted.

Alternatively, earplugs.

20Cent

A frog exaggerator machine, desperately needed.

humberklog

A moveable hole. Like in 70's cartoons.

A hole you can take out of your pocket, toss on the ground and throw yourself/or someone else into.

(that mightn't be best explanation)


A portable hole that can be entered that takes you or someone else out of a situation.

A portable ****ing hole.

****"s sake.

prinzeugen

Hover board tech for cyclists..

Get them off the pavements and roads into the air.

Use some "jet" thing that sucks in birds and makes them crash and burn.

No more cyclists = quicker journeys for all.

Kovu

humberklog wrote: »

A moveable hole. Like in 70's cartoons.

A hole you can take out of your pocket, toss on the ground and throw yourself/or someone else into.

(that mightn't be best explanation)


A portable hole that can be entered that takes you or someone else out of a situation.

A portable ****ing hole.

****"s sake.

A portal?

MaryAntoinette

A black hole with a g spot.

humberklog

Kovu wrote: »

A portal?

No. Just a hole.

A portal kinda makes me think you've got to end up somewhere else after you jump into the portal.

Kovu

humberklog wrote: »

No. Just a hole.

A portal kinda makes me think you've got to end up somewhere else after you jump into the portal.

Oh! I think I know what you mean now when I think of the cartoon reference. It's like a black circle but if somebody jumps into it, the person chasing them can't follow and it's just a black circle they can pick up.

The Backwards Man

A portable electronic hand so you can put both your own behind your head when you're having a fap.

endacl

A pause button.

_Whimsical_

I'm going to think big here and say a teleporter. I want to go places without the hassle of actually going. I'm thinking a star trek type" beam me scotty "device. Every business and home would have one. Just think, a convenient portal to absolutely everywhere in the cupboard under your stairs...

_Whimsical_

endacl wrote: »

A pause button.

I'll see your pause button and raise you a rewind button!
I feel we could have a business here with a little ingenuity and 2500 extra years of scientific progress.
Do you want to lead the investment pitch in Dragons Den or will I?

endacl

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Just think, a convenient portal to absolutely everywhere in the cupboard under your stairs...

I have one of those. I call it 'the cupboard door'. I use it to gain access to the cupboard. Once inside, we have access to everywhere in the cupboard.

WoollyRedHat

The drone cleaner, a surfaced based cleaner that wipes and cleans surfaces, including countertops, floors and even windows. All you need to do is choose the power setting, load up the contents I.e water if spraying/ squidging the windows, and programme in the drones projectory

The Randy Riverbeast

An everything is ok alarm.

When nothing is wrong, it will make noise.

The Randy Riverbeast

An everything is ok alarm.

When nothing is wrong, it will make noise.

Ficheall

humberklog wrote: »

A portable hole that can be entered that takes you or someone else out of a situation.

A portable ****ing hole.

****"s sake.

Here you go, humberklog.

http://www.threeworlds.com.au/image/cache/data/product/additional/hula-hoop__49193-1200x1200_0_.jpg

If used, will change most situations you find yourself in, thereby removing you from that situation, by definition. Also fun.

Internet Ham

A machine that tells you if a girl you are chatting to fancies you. Heaven forbid they f*cking let us know they were interested.

Ruu

A cloud maker.

Medusa22

A robot that will clean my house for me/act as a chef/butler and run errands for me. Basically I never want to move again.

OldGoat

Knifewrench.

...
Feck, already done.

OK, a half fork, half spoon eating thingy. Let's call it a Spork.

...
Feck.

Panthro

An old goat..



Feck!

maudgonner

Ruu wrote: »

A cloud maker.

I can only assume that you've had this in development for some time and have been running continuous tests over the west coast of Ireland for as long as I've been alive?

Seems to be functioning particularly well today by the way, congrats. :mad:

Oddworld Inhabitant

Ruu wrote: »

A cloud maker.

You've been beaten to it, can't post the full link.

youtube.com/watch?v=GRHWCcOktHI

Capt'n Midnight

I will invent a generic storyline and then patent it.
Something like Sleeping Beauty or Rip Van Winkle or one of the kids stories about hibernating animals.


ah crap , someone's already done that :eek:

s-cogan

A real money printer.
Jaysus that would be class...

sryanbruen

Wouldn't the teleporter cause overweight people to be more frequent than it already is? This is because of no exercise (to the place)....

Xaracatz

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

I'll see your pause button and raise you a rewind button!
I feel we could have a business here with a little ingenuity and 2500 extra years of scientific progress.
Do you want to lead the investment pitch in Dragons Den or will I?

A little along these lines, but a snooze button that actually gives you an extra five minutes of time in bed. It doesn't bring you back in time 'cause then you'd be in the same position as before (lying down :pac:).

So, it just stops time and freezes everyone else and you get your extra five minutes x whatever number of times you want to hit it.

Of course, then you'd end up older than everyone else as they're frozen in time and you're snoozing away. And we couldn't have too many of them otherwise everyone would be constantly freezing each other in time. So, in conclusion, it needs a bit of refining. But I fantasise about this in the mornings while I'm snoozing myself late for work.

Samsgirl

A hi-tech kitchen. Where you scan your groceries into the cupboard or fridge after the weekly shop. Then when you are in Tesco / Aldi etc mid week and are wondering if you have milk/bread/ peas etc you just text your kitchen and it tells you. Could also issue text alerts when running low on something.

pedigree 6

A lightsabre for cutting/trimming hedges. :pac::pac:

Capt'n Midnight

I'd invent something to make it easier to move your sled.
Big round things placed at the corners that could roll across the ground.


Only to find out that some Aussie patented it back in 2002
http://www.cs.virginia.edu/~gfx/courses/2002/BigData/papers/Misc/Wheel%20Patent.pdf

ThisRegard

Samsgirl wrote: »

A hi-tech kitchen. Where you scan your groceries into the cupboard or fridge after the weekly shop. Then when you are in Tesco / Aldi etc mid week and are wondering if you have milk/bread/ peas etc you just text your kitchen and it tells you. Could also issue text alerts when running low on something.

They're being worked on using near field/RFID technology and the likes. In fact they'll order food for you so you don't even have to go to the supermarket.

branie2

A device that reads your thoughts and makes them come true in an instant

smash

An invisibility cloak. Obviously for non pervy situations -_-

Whitewinged

Zero calorie chochlate.

I just googled it and it seems there are a few in the making already, yay, though I wish they would just hurry up and get on with it

sryanbruen

Whitewinged wrote: »

Zero calorie chochlate.

I just googled it and it seems there are a few in the making already, yay, though I wish they would just hurry up and get on with it

Would it taste as good though?

Ruu

Whitewinged wrote: »

Zero calorie chochlate.

I just googled it and it seems there are a few in the making already, yay, though I wish they would just hurry up and get on with it

Always some downside to it, taste like wax or something else wrong.

Steve F

To be able to time travel and the ability to become invisible
Ok ,ok that's 2 things but I'm allowed cause I'm great

sryanbruen

Cartoons I've seen clearly state though that if you go back in time, you could affect the present and I am glad that we can't do such a thing.

KKkitty

Alcohol that doesn't give you a hangover.

The_Valeyard

KKkitty wrote: »

Alcohol that doesn't give you a hangover.

Too late

Kim Jong Un claims to have already invented it.

redbel05

An app that sets off an alarm if a person you don't want to see is in the vicinity, allowing you to carefully avoid them.

With future upgrades that enable your phone to read peoples brainwaves creating a kind of Twat-Raydar so you can avoid those people too.

* its been one of those days.

KKkitty

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Too late

Kim Jong Un claims to have already invented it.

Claiming doesn't do anything for me. Proof is in the pudding as they say.

Whitewinged

sryanbruen wrote: »

Would it taste as good though?

My theoretical imaginary zero calorie chocolate would taste better than the plain old stuff. It's my fake invention so I'm going to make it really good

Ah if they do make it really, I bet it will taste like Hersheys or something awful like that

maudgonner

Whitewinged wrote: »

My theoretical imaginary zero calorie chocolate would taste better than the plain old stuff. It's my fake invention so I'm going to make it really good

Ah if they do make it really, I bet it will taste like Hersheys or something awful like that

And it will probably give you diarrhoea.

Kovu

maudgonner wrote: »

And it will probably give you diarrhoea.

But at least that would definitely negate the calories

Mesrine65

Wanker detector & deactivater