Corpulent female harassing me at the nightclub

Under_Graduate

True story, firstly.

This is the first time this has happened to me, and. it. was. bizarre.

It was toward the end of the night.
There was a sparse crowd, but I was putting in work with the last few chicks on the dance floor, hoping to snare something before the national anthem comes on.

As I'm scoping out the scene around the dance floor, I notice in my lateral vision, there's this bright color kind of, flailing widely.
I turn around to see this, like I mentioned, corpulent woman (I couldn't find any suitable euphemism for that), with short hair and thick glasses, dressed in a bright pink top of some kind, and she's stood behind me, thrusting her hips aggressively in a back and forth motion.

I turned around fully to investigate what exactly this commotion is in relation to.

As she becomes aware that she has caught my attention entirely, she scampers back over to two of her friends, a couple yards away, who seem amused by her antics.

Okay, I think to myself.
They're just having some fun. No biggie.

I return my attention to the task at hand, unwittingly turning my back to my buxom heckler.

As I'm moving in on this group of chicks, it seems something has caught their attention also, which appears, going on their vague reactions, to be a source of amusement to them

I spin my head quickly, and notice the same woman, exhibiting the same explicit hip thrusting motion, but more overt, now violently pumping hers in time with each hip thrust, and it appears she has her tongue stuck out, and is concurrently exhibiting a vulgar licking motion.

Again, I turn to face her fully, resulting in the immediate cessation of her obscene demonstration, and again, she scampers back to her friends, who now appear to be bent forward at the waist, really enjoying a good laugh.

So at this point I'm thinking, you know, what's a guy to do here?

I see a member of the nightclub security team propped on the steps to the dance floor, close by.
I consider requesting his assistance in the deterrence of my antagonizer, but he appears to have been observing the proceedings, and the distinct grin on his face, kind of indicated to me that he was also enjoying the obscene spectacle.

Anyways, basically, I maneuver myself to the other side of the dance floor, so that the large salacious woman is now in full view, which of course brings a halt to further advances.

Worst of luck, the clock runs out on me, and the lights come on.

I grab my jacket and bounce.

As I'm leaving, I somehow come into contact with the well-proportioned woman once again.
She stares up at me intently, as if somehow expecting a positive reaction of some kind.
I employ some quick footwork to dance out of range of a potential grab at me, and I'm out the door.

Yeah - not as much fun as it sounds, fo' real.

Little CuChulainn

I have to assume you have a point. I just can't see it.

TerrorFirmer

Jesus, you must not get out much.

MRnotlob606

Under_Graduate wrote: »

True story, firstly.

This is the first time this has happened to me, and. it. was. bizarre.

It was toward the end of the night.
There was a sparse crowd, but I was putting in work with the last few chicks on the dance floor, hoping to snare something before the national anthem comes on.

As I'm scoping out the scene around the dance floor, I notice in my lateral vision, there's this bright color kind of, flailing widely.
I turn around to see this, like I mentioned, corpulent woman (I couldn't find any suitable euphemism for that), with short hair and thick glasses, dressed in a bright pink top of some kind, and she's stood behind me, thrusting her hips aggressively in a back and forth motion.

I turned around fully to investigate what exactly this commotion is in relation to.

As she becomes aware that she has caught my attention entirely, she scampers back over to two of her friends, a couple yards away, who seem amused by her antics.

Okay, I think to myself.
They're just having some fun. No biggie.

I return my attention to the task at hand, unwittingly turning my back to my buxom heckler.

As I'm moving in on this group of chicks, it seems something has caught their attention also, which appears, going on their vague reactions, to be a source of amusement to them

I spin my head quickly, and notice the same woman, exhibiting the same explicit hip thrusting motion, but more overt, now violently pumping hers in time with each hip thrust, and it appears she has her tongue stuck out, and is concurrently exhibiting a vulgar licking motion.

Again, I turn to face her fully, resulting in the immediate cessation of her obscene demonstration, and again, she scampers back to her friends, who now appear to be bent forward at the waist, really enjoying a good laugh.

So at this point I'm thinking, you know, what's a guy to do here?

I see a member of the nightclub security team propped on the steps to the dance floor, close by.
I consider requesting his assistance in the deterrence of my antagonizer, but he appears to have been observing the proceedings, and the distinct grin on his face, kind of indicated to me that he was also enjoying the obscene spectacle.

Anyways, basically, I maneuver myself to the other side of the dance floor, so that the large salacious woman is now in full view, which of course brings a halt to further advances.

Worst of luck, the clock runs out on me, and the lights come on.

I grab my jacket and bounce.

As I'm leaving, I somehow come into contact with the well-proportioned woman once again.
She stares up at me intently, as if somehow expecting a positive reaction of some kind.
I employ some quick footwork to dance out of range of a potential grab at me, and I'm out the door.

Yeah - not as much fun as it sounds, fo' real.

Any Irishman that uses that sort of American terminology isn't going to score.

Damien360

Will you be following up this short story as a series or just one novel ?

endacl

I'm starting to think that the recent ddos attack was designed specifically to keep your stupid threads off the internet, OP.

Specialun

Thats like war & peace

keeponhurling

I guess for the security , they didn't know whether you were just having the craic or genuinely felt harassed.

If it made you feel uncomfortable you should have told them to stop , and reported it to security

warpdrive

Goes on a night out; results in him writing a thesis on boards

Is it because she's fat?

lc180

Had to Google it but Corpulent seems to mean 'Fat'....

Goddamn Corpulent's ruining everybody's night out......

riffmongous

It reads like a poor ross o'carroll kelly imitation but it's missing the d4 soul and of course it's not a bit funny

The_Valeyard

Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world

roverrules

Under_Graduate wrote: »

True story, firstly.

This is the first time this has happened to me, and. it. was. bizarre.

(Snipped)

Yeah - not as much fun as it sounds, fo' real.

Should have took her home, slapped her ass and rode the waves.

EazyD

Chicks, bounce, fo'sho......I think I know your problem OP.

Ken.

Mod-Come back Trent, all is forgiven.

This is a discussion forum and not a place to blog about your uneventful night out and colourful ways to slyly shame the opposite sex.
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