Sister interfering over husband vaping

cruais

This might seem petty. My sister and i are extremely close.

To cute a long story short. My husband quit smoking when i was pregnant and took up vaping. Now i know its not much better but he wouldnt vape around the baby nor i.

My sister sent me a link a while back about vaping and the negatives. I said i know but its not around us

Now tonight she created a group for herself myself and my husband and sent another link about the negatives of vaping. Im so pissed off about it but my husband just laughed saying well she is right but dont worry about it. Im pissed off because i just feel like shes hounding now for him to quit when its absolutely none of her business. How do i say this nicely

amdublin

If it was me I'd tell her to leave you out of it and have conversations directly with your husband about it like an adult.

And then I'd leave the group.

questionmark?

Regardless of how close you are this has nothing and I mean nothing to do with her. Tell her nicely to butt out of your husbands personal choices.

On a side note, it ain't perfect but it's a lot safer than smoking.

meeeeh

Ask her if she has no problems of her own to sort out.

Maybe my family and friends are different but kind of interference would be met with some sarcastic remark and not very gentle reminder to stay out of it.

Del2005

Tell her if he quits vaping he'll most likely end up back on the cigarettes. While I don't think vaping is the answer to quiting nicotine it's currently way better than smoking.

Armchair Andy

I think your sister knows how much this means to you and is playing you on the fact of it . You and your husband need to show extreme solidarity. Start by removing ye both from that silly group she's started up, before long there'll be more added.

suicide_circus

I would be telling her exactly where to shove her meddling. Cheek of her, he's a grown man, is her own life a little empty or why does she feel the need to interfere in yours?

Shrap

Your question is how do you nicely say to her that she's overstepped the mark and is interfering. That's a tough one. You and your sister are close, so in my experience of sisters (not having one myself, that's from my best friend and her three sisters), the closer they are, the harder they fall.

In my imagination, you often have trouble with your sister's reactions to any little bit of criticism from you, or you wouldn't have to be asking this question. I mean, you already know that she should butt out and you already know that her behaviour is ridiculous, but you haven't already said it out straight to her and there's clearly a reason for that.

Now, your husband is brushing this off and basically ignoring it. I wonder can you also just let it slide? Yes, she may keep banging her head off the same wall and keep posting stuff at you about vaping, but you are entitled to ignore it too. If she has a go at you about ignoring her, then would be a good time to tell her you're ignoring her advice because your husband is doing the best he can, doing very well to be off the smokes and will take this at his own speed thanks very much.

robbiezero

Opt for the quiet life and say nothing.
Doesn't sound like her interfering is having any impact so just both of you ignore it. She probably means well. If there is stuff other than this that she is poking her nose into, well that's a different story, but this on its own seems fairly harmless. If neither of ye reply to the group it will die a death fairly soon.

eviltwin

Is she interfering by nature or just since you became pregnant? She means well but this type of thing can quickly becoming suffocating. It's none of her business if your husband vapes and she's over stepping the mark. Nip it in the bud now before she starts lecturing you on other aspects of your behaviour.

kjl

Hi there, I think most of the posters have given you good advice, but mine would be bit of advice to your husband. Tell him to avoid any of the Butter flavoured (i.e. Toffee, Mother's Milk etc) these contain Diacetyl which is responsible for a incurable disease called popcorn lung

http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/press-releases/e-cigarette-flavoring-chemicals-linked-to-respiratory-disease/

I vape myself, but this is a harvard study so would be worth noting, not hard to avoid those flavours either.

orthsquel

Well she's tried twice to get a point about vaping across.... perhaps you can just gently acknowledge her information with a "great thanks, will take it on board" type response so that she knows you've heard what she has to say, and just inform her that if ye want more information you'll look it up yourselves or seek medical advice from a GP in the future or something like that.

If she doesn't leave it at that maybe just tell her you appreciate her concern but you will deal with this yourselves in a way that is right for you and to give ye space and time to deal with it.

Calibos

Putting aside the holier than thou meddling by the sister.

Vaping is not much better than smoking??

Vaping is massively better than smoking!!

Get yourself over to the Vaping forum. Its a sub forum of the Quitting Smoking forum. Even that study above is overblown by the anti vaping crowd.

jam_mac_jam

This is none of her business and you need to tell her that. However, She is doing it out of concern by the sounds of it and not from a bad motive but I would tell her if its bothering you.


Also, this was not handled in the best way by her, she should have spoken to you directly about it rather then the way she did it. If you are close to her, be honest and tell her that you are not comfortable about this.


To be honest, he is making an effort and many people have given up completely by using vaping so it is a positive step on his part. She just loves you so doesn't want anything to happen to him, just be honest and tell her how you feel. She might be upset that she upset you but its better to know.

Bunny Colvin

The ironic thing is, if your husband hadn't quit smoking then I bet she wouldn't be on his case half as much.

Non vapers seem to love reminding vapers that their habit is unhealthy but studies have shown that it is at least 95% safer than smoking. Now, they're not perfect and in an ideal world the only thing you should be putting into your lungs is oxygen but the facts are they are a hell of a lot safer than smoking so fair play to your husband on quitting the smokes.

Does your sister live a perfect life? Does she eat too much junk food or take too much sugar in her tea? Point is nobody is perfect, tell your sister to cop on. Once is enough to tell a grown adult.

zoobizoo

I'd ask your sister what her worry is.

She may think that he is setting a bad example to her niece/your daughter.

She may think that he is doing harm to himself which would effect you / he, if it causes illness.

Does he vape in the house?


I think that most people on here would defend her if she complained about him smoking around you and your child. Maybe she sees the two as being equally as damaging health wise.

zoobizoo

I'd ask your sister what her worry is.

She may think that he is setting a bad example to her niece/your daughter.

She may think that he is doing harm to himself which would effect you / he, if it causes illness.

Does he vape in the house?


I think that most people on here would defend her if she complained about him smoking around you and your child. Maybe she sees the two as being equally as damaging health wise.

skallywag

zoobizoo wrote: »

I think that most people on here would defend her if she complained about him smoking around you and your child.

The OP mentioned in the opening post that he doesn't vape around her or the child?

The Young Wan

Think, and ask her, how would she react if you told her husband how to live his life? It's absolutely none of her business if your husband vapes or smokes 100 Cuban cigars a day. Tell her take a good dose of cop on and stay out of matters that are none of her concern. If she isn't spoken to now, it'll come to it she'll be trying to raise your child her ways when child is a little older.