Boyf watching porn

Pinkmoon19

Hi,

I'm sure this is a topic that has been discussed many times but just looking for the opinions of others.

I was over at my boyfriend's house last night. We've been dating for 6 months, totally in love and very happy.

His roommates were in the house at the same time and I can't even remember how it came up but someone mentioned something about porn and then started slagging my boyfriend. I wasn't happy about it at all and questioned him about it later when we were alone. He admitted to watching porn in bed once or twice a week, my feeling is that it's probably more.

I feel really put off by this. It just kind of freaks me out that when I'm not there he's in bed getting off on porn.

Am I being really uptight feeling this way? Is what he is doing totally normal?

If anyone has any insight to offer or has been in a similar situation, on either sides, I'd be really grateful for your opinion.

Thanks

pookie82

Yes you're being really uptight.

This is normal and tbh, none of your business. Unless he can't perform with you because of it.

Mr. Incognito

This comes up a LOT here over the years.

People are sexual.

They like to express that and fantasise.

If you expect your boyfriend to be faithful to you in real life that's totally fair.

If you expect your boyfriend to be faithful to you in his fantasies then you are niavie and crazy.

Porn is for entertainment and to get off. Do you think your boyfriend wants to take one of the girls he is whacking off to out for a meal after?

Unless it is an issue where you think he is unable to perform or get aroused due to excess porn use you might ask him to cut back.

Otherwise I would just accept it as a normal part of a person expressing their sexuality and move on.

Very uptight. Sorry, but you're having a very OTT reaction.

Pinkmoon19

Ok thanks for your responses. Can't help but feel a little uncomfortable but your opinions have been taken on board.

silverbolt

Unless he's using porn in place of you then its not really an issues unless you make it one.

What exactly is your problem with it OP?

Addle

http://www.joe.ie/life-style/pornhub-reveal-their-top-20-search-terms-of-2015/525870
The stats speak for themselves OP. It seems to be unusual not to watch porn!

ibarelycare

OP what is it about him watching porn that makes you uncomfortable? You're entitled to your feelings, but it might be worth looking at what are the reasons behind them.

Mr. Incognito

Addle wrote: »

http://www.joe.ie/life-style/pornhub-reveal-their-top-20-search-terms-of-2015/525870
The stats speak for themselves OP. It seems to be unusual not to watch porn!

There was a famous case of a study in America a few years ago where they were looking to see the effects of Porn.

They could not find a control group of any Males between 18-35 whom had never watched porn so they had to abondon the experiment.

OP- Perhaps you should watch some porn. You will see it's nothing to get jealous off.

pookie82

silverbolt wrote: »

Unless he's using porn in place of you then its not really an issues unless you make it one.

What exactly is your problem with it OP?

"It just kind of freaks me out that when I'm not there he's in bed getting off on porn."

I would imagine it's this, which would hint at insecurity/possessiveness, in that the OP feels like she's the only woman in the world he should be "into" or "get off" with.

In the real, physical world, this is true - you want a faithful partner. But porn isn't reality, it's fantasy.

If he found out you fancied Ryan Gosling, and banned you from watching his movies in case you were turned on by another man, would you be ok with that?

LegacyUser

It's totally ok for the OP to be hurt by this. Emotions are not something you can switch on and off, when your feelings are brushed off and disregarded it doesn't make them disappear. You're disappointed because you would like to believe your boyfriend is so in love with you that he doesn't want or need to look at porn or other women. That is ok too, there is nothing wrong with that. You're hurt because while *you're* not with him you are thinking about him and you're committed to him emotionally, mentally, sexually. He is enough. And well that doesn't seem to be the same for him now that you know this, and that can really hurt, no matter how it is explained to you rationally. If a woman these days has a problem with this addiction, and it is one especially with internet porn, she is told to shut up and stop being silly. You have the right to the way you feel, it's not cool, or accepted these days, because of the proliferation of porn and it's a massive industry, but that doesn't mean you have to be ok with it.

I will only be in a relationship with a guy who gives it up. Not judging other relationships, a lot of women are fine with it and watch it themselves, but for me it's not something I can handle or would want at all, for many different reasons, none of them religious or prudish. It's my preference, like not wanting to date a smoker, someone who drinks etc. It's just a turn off completely. And yes my boyf knew early on. I'm just saying it's ok to feel let down by this. Maybe ask him to cut back if it's really getting to you.

Pac1Man

Donthavetobeok wrote: »

This seems extremely archaic. Do you truly believe he doesn't watch it?

Brego888

Donthavetobeok your boyfriend still watches porn.

iusedtoknow

I remember having an argument like this with my ex (many years ago as my wife has no issues with porn). She hated the fact that I used porn. The hypocritical aspect of it was that she had no issues of her fantasizing and "taking care" of herself - the issue was with me, and because it was "visual" rather than "imaginary".

You need to relax about it - there is nothing wrong with it and is perfectly fine as long as it doesn't come between or effect your normal sex life

Dial Hard

Donthavetobeok wrote:

If a woman these days has a problem with this addiction, and it is one especially with internet porn, she is told to shut up and stop being silly.

Absolutely nothing anywhere in the OP's post suggests that her boyfriend is addicted to porn. That's quite the reach.

Guffy

Op i wonder is it solely that he is watching porn or is it the fact that "he is in bed getting off without you".

If its the latter then there is not going to be much you can do about it, i mean even if you end up with someone else everyone takes care of themselves at some point.

If it's the former why don't you make a couple of "porn" vids with him. I mean you obviously would need to trust him but at least he would be looking at you, most of the time... sometimes anyway.

LegacyUser

Pac1Man wrote: »

This seems extremely archaic. Do you truly believe he doesn't watch it?

Yea.. It's hardly an unimaginable feat, giving it up, is it? I mean it's not a necessity, akin to giving up air, food, water. Men have achieved greater feats I would think. People can give up alcohol, smoking, unhealthy foods, Facebook, all kinds of habits and people won't bat an eyelid but when it's porn it's met with but why, you don't believe he's given it up do you? Its his choice to refrain from it. It's an awful waste of time and it has negative effects, that if you're unconsciously using it you'll not be aware of. But if most people enjoy it then they'll do it, their choice.
We're getting away from the issue which is it upsets the OP. I think she should be able to tell him her feelings and why and see what his reaction is. He's free to do what he wants. The OP has to decide what she wants in the relationship and what she can compromise on.

Typer Monkey

gufc21 wrote: »

If it's the former why don't you make a couple of "porn" vids with him. I mean you obviously would need to trust him but at least he would be looking at you, most of the time... sometimes anyway.

I'd really caution against this. It's a relatively new relationship and you can never be sure where those videos would end up. Very risky

Guffy

Typer Monkey wrote: »

I'd really caution against this. It's a relatively new relationship and you can never be sure where those videos would end up. Very risky

That's why i said trust. The OP should decide what it is that actually bothers her though. Is it that she's not beside him or that he's looking at videos of other people while doing it. Its one solution if its the latter, obviously if she trusts him enough.

LegacyUser

Donthavetobeok wrote: »

Yea.. It's hardly an unimaginable feat, giving it up, is it? I mean it's not a necessity, akin to giving up air, food, water. Men have achieved greater feats I would think. People can give up alcohol, smoking, unhealthy foods, Facebook, all kinds of habits and people won't bat an eyelid but when it's porn it's met with but why, you don't believe he's given it up do you? Its his choice to refrain from it. It's an awful waste of time and it has negative effects, that if you're unconsciously using it you'll not be aware of. But if most people enjoy it then they'll do it, their choice.
We're getting away from the issue which is it upsets the OP. I think she should be able to tell him her feelings and why and see what his reaction is. He's free to do what he wants. The OP has to decide what she wants in the relationship and what she can compromise on.

So if your OH didn't watch porn but got aroused and got off to watching an actress in a regular film would you ban him from watching that? Yes porn can be an addiction to some people the same as a great many things but plenty of people male and female are able to enjoy it as singles or as a couple without it causing issue. I highly rec reading the webcomic Oh Joy Sex Toy written by a women with some input from her husband discussing healthy sexual health that can include toys and female positive porn (yes plenty of that exists). I read loads of books similar to 50 shades of grey (but not that one cus it's crap), they are fun and yes turn me on. My husband has no issue with this even if it's not something he gets or wants to do.

The OP has no said anything about her OH porn use being out of control. All she has said is he watches on occassion when shes not there, hardly sounds like an addiction.

desertcircus

Brego888 wrote: »

Donthavetobeok your boyfriend still watches porn.

We know nothing about the ins and outs of someone's relationship. It's entirely possible that he's truthful on this.

OP: it's up to you to decide if this is an issue for you. For what it's worth, though, you'd probably be better off examining your own feelings to see why it makes you so unhappy.

LegacyUser

Brego888 wrote: »

Donthavetobeok your boyfriend still watches porn.

Didn't believe him at first I'm not naive, but I do now. It's not impossible to give up. It is not easy because of the effect it has on the brain and the the fact it's been mindless and habitual for most men for years, even if very occasional. But that doesn't mean a man can't come to a decision to live without it and fully enjoy his sexuality with his partner.
Everybody's relationship is different. We have made conscious choices how to live, and shouldn't be judged.

jackboy

desertcircus wrote: »

We know nothing about the ins and outs of someone's relationship. It's entirely possible that he's truthful on this.

Possible but highly unlikely. Porn is now mainstream. Game of thrones, 50 shades of grey. Programs with a storyline so people cam pretend they are not watching porn.

kylith

Men watch porn. Women watch porn. People like porn.

There is no problem with anyone watching porn unless it becomes a problem and starts effecting your sex life or the way he treats you.

eviltwin

Donthavetobeok wrote: »

Didn't believe him at first I'm not naive, but I do now. It's not impossible to give up. It is not easy because of the effect it has on the brain and the the fact it's been mindless and habitual for most men for years, even if very occasional. But that doesn't mean a man can't come to a decision to live without it and fully enjoy his sexuality with his partner.
Everybody's relationship is different. We have made conscious choices how to live, and shouldn't be judged.

Why don't you want him watching it? Where is the harm? I think it's unreasonable to expect a partner to never ever look at porn. Where do you draw the line? Is he allowed watch a sex scene in a film? Read an erotic story? Imagine someone else? It just seems very controlling.

njs030

Donthavetobeok wrote: »

Didn't believe him at first I'm not naive, but I do now. It's not impossible to give up. It is not easy because of the effect it has on the brain and the the fact it's been mindless and habitual for most men for years, even if very occasional. But that doesn't mean a man can't come to a decision to live without it and fully enjoy his sexuality with his partner.
Everybody's relationship is different. We have made conscious choices how to live, and shouldn't be judged.

Yet you judged him, for watching it in the first place.
Maybe you're not naive but you are a hypocrite.

Rezident

Most boyfriends are watching porn. Masturbation is healthy. Actually, it's been a few days, that gives me an idea!

Dial Hard

Rezident wrote:

Most boyfriends are watching porn.

Plenty of girlfriends are too. It's not an exclusively male pursuit by any stretch of the imagination.

OP, I think you really need to examine why you have such an issue with this. If he was rejecting sex with you in order to watch it then yes, that would be an issue. But as it stands, what *exactly* is it that's bothering you? You don't have to answer that question here, but you should try and answer it honestly to yourself.

LegacyUser

notjustsweet wrote: »

Yet you judged him, for watching it in the first place.
Maybe you're not naive but you are a hypocrite.

No and I wouldn't judge him if he watched it again. It's so available it's understandable. We are open and honest. It's a choice to avoid it. No more. Masturbation, fantasies, trying new things; all healthy. Internet porn, not so good or healthy, that's where the line is. For us. Why do people get so defensive, give up anything else for personal choice and no questions asked, but this subject and everyone loses their sh*t.

njs030

Donthavetobeok wrote: »

No and I wouldn't judge him if he watched it again. It's so available it's understandable. We are open and honest. It's a choice to avoid it. No more. Masturbation, fantasies, trying new things; all healthy. Internet porn, not so good or healthy, that's where the line is. For us. Why do people get so defensive, give up anything else for personal choice and no questions asked, but this subject and everyone loses their sh*t.

Your first post said you wouldn't have a relationship with someone who watched porn, you are aware that's making a judgement on his choices?

So if he decided to watch it again are you saying that's ok now? Contrary to your original post?

I think if you have a read through this forum you'll find when there is a case of one partner forcing the other to act a certain way most people will say that's not ok.

Nervous Wreck

Donthavetobeok wrote: »

No and I wouldn't judge him if he watched it again. It's so available it's understandable. We are open and honest. It's a choice to avoid it. No more. Masturbation, fantasies, trying new things; all healthy. Internet porn, not so good or healthy, that's where the line is. For us. Why do people get so defensive, give up anything else for personal choice and no questions asked, but this subject and everyone loses their sh*t.

Well no, there's a difference between giving up watching porn and being forced into (probably lying about) giving up watching porn to appease your controlling, judgemental partner. I'd say the same if it was cross-dressing or eating apples.

LegacyUser

I gave my explanation on my objections to it, mainstream media manipulation (HBO's tactics for creating highly addictive entertainment etc) and the same for the porn industry, but the mods havnt posted it, off topic I suppose. It's a lifestyle choice, I've given up stuff and so has he. Ask my boyf, even in front of a group of his friends and he will openly say that yea he avoids it. For some reason this is beyond the comprehension of people on boards. It's sad the hold the porn industry has over people. I wouldn't go out with someone who continued to immersed themselves in it no, that's my preference. No different than not going out with someone who continued to takes drugs. What's wrong with that? It wouldn't make me happy, so why waste either of our time? But people who have no issue with it then that's nothing to do with me, why get defensive. I'm trying to say that everyone should form their own opinions, lifestyle and choices that THEY are happy with.

Taltos

Mod Note
Gentle reminder all this is not a discussion forum. If you don't have constructive advice for the OP then please don't posts.

I really don't want to see anymore posts on GOT, we've already deleted quite of few of these but they keep cropping up...

Thanks.

Feel

Pinkmoon19 wrote: »

He admitted to watching porn in bed once or twice a week, my feeling is that it's probably more.

Please trust your own feelings.
I don't watch porn. There are men and women out there not watching porn. If you don't feel good with it and it is affecting your way to love then accept it and walk on.

Tipsy McSwagger

OP has a problem with porn not her boyfriend watching porn.

Shrap

OP, this isn't the kind of thing they teach in sex ed class, although it should be. There are very definite differences between how men and women most easily become aroused. For men it's much more frequently through visual sexual stimuli than it is for women (but obviously, many women do get off on visual stimulation) and women are much more frequently affected by their environment, emotions or sexual fantasy.

In my opinion, it's these gender differences that actually give rise (no pun intended!) to a lot of women having an adverse reaction to their partners watching porn - we are generally more sexually aroused by a man's emotional availability and so may make assumptions that a partner is actually feeling attracted emotionally to the women they are watching in porn, whereas actually they are purely turned on by the visuals, not the women themselves tbh. Which again gives rise to many women having difficulties with what they see as "objectification" of women in porn. However, I'm afraid it's just the way we're made. It's a case of learning that, and possibly trying out porn for yourself to see if you get anything out of it too! There's no shame in it OP, it's natural to masturbate (and very good for you) and many people use porn as a normal visual route to stimulation.

LegacyUser

I'm kinda shocked at how naive people are.

First, porn isn't fantasy. Its real people having real sex. Its not a TV show. Its a real body doing a real act. You're watching real people, have real sex. It's anything but fantasy and watching porn vs. a sex scene in a film could not be any more different. How can people tell themselves they are even marginally similair?

Neither is it "normal", it's a social and cultural. People have been masturbating (which is normal btw) for milleniums before internet porn became available. Its not a prerequestite.

There is also a massive difference between pre-internet and internet porn. Porn before was pure fantasy. Porn now is reality. Lads mags were built upon pure imagination and pretend, role play. Internet porn is real sex.

All of this is before we get into debates around objectification, the economy of it, the effect it has on other sex, and the neurological consequences of watching it.

Don't let people dismiss your feelings OP. And also don't believe the "men are visual creatures" bull. I'm a neuroscientist and the truth is that its women who are more aroused visually biologically, not men. All this is socially acceptable sexism. A myth we've heard so many times that we think its truth.

LegacyUser

Feel wrote: »

Please trust your own feelings.
I don't watch porn. There are men and women out there not watching porn. If you don't feel good with it and it is affecting your way to love then accept it and walk on.

You'll get the immediate reaction; 'ah but you do don't you? Wink, wink, nudge nudge' here so forget saying that. People can't imagine a different life here outside their own, dictated by whatever society tells them they should be watching/doing and what to accept and what not. Everything around you is directing you to the standard life/boyfriend where you see him few times a week, have standard sex, he goes home and sits in front of a screen and gets off twice a week (or 20 times what's the difference, you are addicted whether you admit it or not, it's how the brain is wired, particularly the male brain) to what he really wants in his fantasies to porn.

That life just doesn't sound very appealing to me. It's kind of sad. Even if the sex is good, and the woman might think well he has that, I can have a bit of that too, and watch a bit of porn, or indulge in a bit of 50 shades (or whatever alternative that makes you feel less mainstream) but you still are escaping. It's still brain-numbing distraction from what will really make you happy. And it won't make you happy. Internet porn is highly addictive and very unnatural,and is being made out to be harmless, when it is anything but.
Or you can side step all that low consciousness dross and create a life neither of you want to escape from. One that actually fulfills you, sexually and emotionally. And that takes true commitment, communication, and knowledge of how different women and men are.

And to the poster that said the OP has a problem with porn and not her boyf watching it - no the OP definitely has a problem with her boyf watching porn. Any adult that hasn't been living under a rock will know how much porn is out there. And it's here to stay no matter what you think of it. But she doesn't want her boyf looking at it when he has her. That's the problem.

kylith

NeuroGuy wrote: »

I'm kinda shocked at how naive people are.

First, porn isn't fantasy. Its real people having real sex. Its not a TV show. Its a real body doing a real act. You're watching real people, have real sex. It's anything but fantasy and watching porn vs. a sex scene in a film could not be any more different. How can people tell themselves they are even marginally similair?

Neither is it "normal", it's a social and cultural. People have been masturbating (which is normal btw) for milleniums before internet porn became available. Its not a prerequestite.

There is also a massive difference between pre-internet and internet porn. Porn before was pure fantasy. Porn now is reality. Lads mags were built upon pure imagination and pretend, role play. Internet porn is real sex.

All of this is before we get into debates around objectification, the economy of it, the effect it has on other sex, and the neurological consequences of watching it.

Don't let people dismiss your feelings OP. And also don't believe the "men are visual creatures" bull. I'm a neuroscientist and the truth is that its women who are more aroused visually biologically, not men. All this is socially acceptable sexism. A myth we've heard so many times that we think its truth.

People have been masturbating since before they WERE people. Chimps enjoys watching each other have sex.

Pre-internet there were magazines and if you think it was limited to lads' mags or Playboy then YOU are the one being terribly naive; there was hardcore stuff in magazines, there was hardcore stuff on video. Before modern media there were woodcuts, carvings, and live sex shows going back millennia.

When we say that it's fantasy it doesn't mean that we think the sex isn't real, it means that the watcher likely does not actually want to do what they are watching. A lot of women watch objectifying porn; it doesn't mean that they actually want to be treated like that.

If an individual doesn't want to watch porn then that is totally ok, their choice and nobody else's business. But to attempt to impose your own morals and insist that someone else stops watching porn because YOU don't like it is unfair and wrong.

The OP can ether accept that her OH watches porn, in which case life will continue as it always has, or she can insist that he stops watching it, in which case he will either break up with her or start lying to her saying that he has stopped and continuing to watch in secret in which case she'll be back here in a couple of months with a thread about how he has betrayed her trust and lied to her and how can she ever trust him again.

eviltwin

There is nothing wrong with not watching porn. It doesn't appeal to everyone. But there is nothing wrong in looking at it either. It's not harmful to look at porn and it can actually be a useful enhancement to a couples sex life.

Once it's not verging on addiction or replacing sex or creating unrealistic expectations of what sex should be it's not a bad thing. For the vast majority porn is used in their alone time to aid masturbation. It's not used as an alternative to their partners. I look at porn, read porn, am inspired by porn. I use it when my partner is not around. It will never compare to real sex but it's fun when I'm alone.

I think it's unreasonable to make demands on what your partner watches in their free time once your sex life isn't suffering. It's controlling behaviour which is far more damaging to a relationship that watching a bit of porn.

gothic_doll

One thing about porn is it can make it hard to come via natural methods, as the person is used to the extra stimuli. (I.e can they come without it?)

Doing a porn detox and retraining yourself to come via natural methods is actually recommended. You'll probably find a few articles online with the right keywords. However it takes a lot of mental resilience to retrain the brain to go natural, rather than go for the McDonalds version. Which is why people are saying effectively, 'like it or lump it.'

My issue in this story - why do his housemates know about it/think it is worth joking about? Sounds like they caught him, which is pretty awkward. Or he is using up a lot of their internet allowance? They shouldn't be judging him either, which is why it's curious they brought it up about him specifically. Probably a lil more to this story.

homerjay2005

Pinkmoon19 wrote: »

Ok thanks for your responses. Can't help but feel a little uncomfortable but your opinions have been taken on board.

why dont you watch some porn with him? may relax you a little bit.

intheclouds

Some very strange opinions here.

My husband tells me that when he was young, he used to **** to the bra ads in Women's Own magazine. Obviously porn has become far more available and varied since then!

I probably watch more onscreen porn than him and very much more extreme scenes.

Who cares? If he wants to go off and spend 20 mins watching porn and getting off then what of it? Would I prefer he hid in the bathroom with a Women's Own magazine? No! Would I prefer he didn't look at porn at all? Absolutely not.

I can tell you straight up, from personal experience, people still masturbate regardless of the porn available. And the human mind can imagine far far more extreme scenes than you'd ever find onscreen.

Can't see the big deal myself. People masturbate. Sometimes they like to use things while they masturbate whether it be a the vibrations of the washing machine, their own mind, a magazine, literotica or internet porn. Why does the medium matter at all?

Chill out people, enjoy your orgasms and leave others to enjoy theirs. Guilt, judgement, paranoia, jealousy.....leave all that elsewhere. You'll be long enough in the ground, enjoy your body while you can.

Pac1Man

Donthavetobeok1 wrote: »

I can have a bit of that too, and watch a bit of porn, or indulge in a bit of 50 shades (or whatever alternative that makes you feel less mainstream) but you still are escaping. It's still brain-numbing distraction from what will really make you happy. And it won't make you happy. Internet porn is highly addictive and very unnatural,and is being made out to be harmless, when it is anything but.

Donthavetobeok, can you clarify this? Take the porn topic off the table for a second. What is wrong with escaping, switching the brain off, staring into space etc.?

We are a very strong species. Our brains don't require constant 'clean' stimulus to function or grow and they won't malfunction either without it. We are a constantly evolving species in how we perceive things. Comparing how we behave or how we accept things now compared to 60-70 years ago is a futile task.

Now, let's put porn back on the table (or on any other item of furniture). Yes it can be addictive. So can TV, Coca Cola and painkillers. They all have their positive uses in moderation however.

After reading a previous post of yours, I can now understand why you and your partner decide not to use it, but to be so aghast with the idea of watching it within these limits of moderation seems very militant. The options are neither to abstain from it or to be addicted to it.

HandsomeDan

NeuroGuy wrote: »

I'm kinda shocked at how naive people are.

First, porn isn't fantasy. Its real people having real sex. Its not a TV show. Its a real body doing a real act. You're watching real people, have real sex. It's anything but fantasy and watching porn vs. a sex scene in a film could not be any more different. How can people tell themselves they are even marginally similair?

Neither is it "normal", it's a social and cultural. People have been masturbating (which is normal btw) for milleniums before internet porn became available. Its not a prerequestite.

There is also a massive difference between pre-internet and internet porn. Porn before was pure fantasy. Porn now is reality. Lads mags were built upon pure imagination and pretend, role play. Internet porn is real sex.

All of this is before we get into debates around objectification, the economy of it, the effect it has on other sex, and the neurological consequences of watching it.

Don't let people dismiss your feelings OP. And also don't believe the "men are visual creatures" bull. I'm a neuroscientist and the truth is that its women who are more aroused visually biologically, not men. All this is socially acceptable sexism. A myth we've heard so many times that we think its truth.

Utter drivil.

There is no difference between being turned on by pictures in a magazine, watching a movie, or just acting something out in your head. Porn is pure fantasy regardless of the mode of delivery.

Taltos

Mod note
Reminder all - PI is not a discussion forum. This is purely an advice forum.
Should this thread continue down the discussion route we are going to have to close this thread

If folk want a discussion there are other more appropriate forums.

I've actually learned and tried numerous sex acts that I learned from porn. The OP should consider trying this.

RoyalMarine

Just to add my own view on the topic, I'm a male. I watch it.

I talked to my gf about it, and she explained her concerns.

I explained that I don't watch it as I want to replace her for someone else. I watch it for the hell of it. For 'relief' to put it more bluntly.

She's 100% cool with it now, and as long as it remains innocent, I don't see the harm in it either.

Innocent being to the standard where I don't watch it instead of spending time with her.

Roselm

Pinkmoon19 wrote: »

Ok thanks for your responses. Can't help but feel a little uncomfortable but your opinions have been taken on board.

I get that you don't like him looking at other naked girls but I do think it's normal on his part.
The only thing that would get to me, really, is whether the girls were employed for or forced into making the film...!

PLL

I have lived with my boyfriend for many years and he watches porn when I'm not there or asleep.

I think a few years ago I was using his phone and I saw something he hadn't closed and I got annoyed just because I saw it. Other than that time I just don't think about it. I also watch it. Important to note is that we have a good sex life. I think masturbation is normal, healthy.

On a funnier note my MIL was telling a story to me, my oh, his brother and gf it was about a friends daughter who left her husband after a year of marriage due to finding him watching porn. We were all silent. Then she said 'The girl was so upset that she felt she wasn't enough and he had to go elsewhere.

In my opinion, that isn't what porn is about. If I felt at any point It was replacing my other half or him replacing me then I would get worried.

intheclouds

Roselm wrote: »

The only thing that would get to me, really, is whether the girls were employed for or forced into making the film...!

The mainstream porn industry, ie, making porn for money has more or less collapsed since the advent of phones capable of making video recordings and web cams. The internet is SWAMPED with amateur porn, with girls uploading vids of themselves masturbating etc...

The only real money in porn now is by catering to more extreme fetishes.

So, I would not be worrying about the girls being forced to perform. Chances are OPs partner is watching ordinary vanilla porn.