Exam Worries

LegacyUser

So I am a 3rd year University student in a 4 year course. This year my overall mark counts for 30% of my degree, the remaining 70% is determined in my next (final) year. I was supposed to have 6 exams before Christmas, and in May I will have another 6. The University has introduced a capping policy whereby if you fail a module and must repeat it in August the maximum score you can get in that module regardless of how you preform in the exam is 40%.

However, I sat only two of my exams, and I deferred the rest. I had been feeling crap and not myself at all and overwhelmed etc etc etc all semester, and it was worsening as the semester progressed eventually climaxing at study/exam week. I went to a college counsellor and she believed I was suffering with depression and that I defer the rest of my exams (4 in total) and that I go to the health center and get an official diagnosis, which I did (Deferring means I will have to sit the exams in August but my score will not be capped). I was prescribed antidepressants as well which I am now taking. Prior to this (whilst not officially diagnosed) I did suffer from anxiety to some degree especially when concerning exams and I was granted special exam seating as a result (I got to sit my exams in a room with fewer people).

Last year (i.e my 2nd year) I was a star student. I got 9/12 As in my subjects and received a 1.1 in the year overall. However this year, even though I was spending just as much if not more time studying my ability to concentrate and belief in myself completely diminished, my passion for my course which I once loved had disappeared too. I guess this was a result of my "depression". However, one of the two exams I sat went awful, terrible, I only answered one question out of three. The exam counted for 60% of my overall mark in the module. This isnt me. I studied for that exam more than any of my other subjects, well atleast attempted to study. This isnt me. I don't fail, especially in that module-what was once my favourite subject last year, a subject I got all As in. I really tried to study but I just couldnt-that voice in my head kept telling me I had already failed, I was useless, stupid, etc, I just couldnt concentrate I tried to fight through it, but evidently I didnt, and now I fear I have fúcked up my year and my degree over all. [I know this seems irrational but I did the maths and the most I can walk away from this year with is a 2.1 but realistically Im looking at a 2.2-which will damage my overall score for the year-I know its crazy but the only thing I could say in my head whenever somebody upset me or tried to make me feel small was that I was smart, I had gotten a 1.1 that year and thats what was really important) And its killing me, thinking about it makes me panic and I cant cope with this thought. I realise my mindset is so wrong but Im going to counselling in the new year and I guess this is something we'll be working through.

I was told from an anonymous source from someone who suffered from depression last year that they had contacted the head of "x" (a student services department not particularly related to academics) in the college and had explained that they had sat their exams but had messed them up due to their depression, he was then allowed to resit them in August as deferrals, meaning his score wasnt capped, and suggested I do the same too. However heres my problem. I dont know if I should or shouldnt contact this person. I sat one exam which went ok for me (it is tbh an easy subject of sorts and I did minimal study for it-mostly just the 2 days leading up to the exam). I dont know what I should do, after all one exam did go ok for me, and I deferred the rest, or should I contact the head of the subject/module. I don't know what to do....I feel like theyll turn round and call me a liar, or say no, and I cant handle that. This whole thing evokes a horrible feeling of fear in me, and also if I was to sit the exam I believed I failed (which I may have passed overall due to continuous assessment) that would mean I would have to sit 5 exams in August, not just the 4 I deferred-I deferred 1 exam last year and it sucked the soul out of me. I did quite well but studying and the lead up is horrendous, and as I said previously I also have bit of an anxiety issue, and I dont know how I will be able to cope with so many, the thought of 4 already frightens me, that I have to go through the whole process of sitting exams again.

Anways Im looking for peoples opinions on what I should do. Apologies for the long post.

kjl

I would imagine that if you defer your exams the 40% cap would not apply. That cap is for someone who failed the exam and is repeating so I would definitely get onto that administration person.

The thing is there is a bit of a jump to faster pace in the 3rd year of a 4 year degree, but what you need to do it just go to every lecture and don't be afraid to ask questions. I know most of the knowledge I remember from college came from class discussions and interactions. If you go and just sit there it's unlikely to yield any results.

You may have made this year a little harder on yourself by deferring these exams but you'll still have plenty of time to socialize so make sure you do that too. College is meant to be fun as well as educational. Trust me when you finish all the parties dry up pretty quickly so enjoy it while you can.

You might be depressed, but honestly I doubt it. It sounds to me like you're stressed and in a funk. You mad a mistake before the break now go and make sure it doesn't effect your degree by going to this administration person.