Advice Needed please?

RoisinDee

I'm really not that sure what to do.. I'm deeply depressed and have extreme anxiety for the past 5 years now, I can barely function. I nevery seem to find psychiatrists any help, and no medication such as anti depressants or anti anxiety medication ever works for me. My life is an endless cycle of tears, depression and extreme panic attacks. but that isn't why I'm writing this . Due to my mental state along with numerous deficiencies and blood disorders Im extremely fatigued most of the time which makes it pretty much impossible to work. Due to the panic and depression. I have been on Jobseekers allowance since September and in early December I recently applied for Disability Allowance which won't get a decision until about March or April according to the department.. I get €100 euro weekly currently and I am living with my boyfriend who also gets €100 weekly. My boyfriend actually gave upeveverything to look after me due to me being a mental and physical wreck most of the time that is why he isn't working. The problem is is that we are now over 1,000€ in debt and also outstanding medical bills of about €500 our rent is 110 per week (we don't qualify for rent allowance) our electric is at least 20 per week, I pay 50€ a week back to Cabot financial (non negotiable 50 is the minimum per week) for the outstanding bill of over €1000 so it leaves us with absolutely nothing for food or heating. We are hungry pretty much all the time every single day and freezing cold just miserable.. we get no help from friends or family so that is not an option. I have contacted st Vincent de Paul who gave us a food voucher and ordered us some coal and turf which we were beyond grateful for, but I have no idea what we are going to do in the long run about buying any food. As I don't think the St Vincent de Paul can help us all the time... We literally don't have enough money for toilet roll food coal or other essentials and are constantly Freezing. I am in such a bad place mentally that my boyfriend just can't go away all day to work and leave me he knows I won't cope alone I have no idea what to do can anyone give me some advice? Thank you for taking the time to read

njs030

Why are you only getting €100 per week? JA is €188 so where is the rest of it.
Why aren't you eligible for rent allowance?
Have you applied for a medical card?

Sorry for all the questions but they will help give a clearer picture of how you could get help.

Merkin

You poor thing. I should imagine given the severity of your condition your boyfriend may be entitled to a carers allowance. Your GP may be able to advise you as well. There is a Benefits forum on Boards where I think you might get a more practical response. Please let me know if you'd like me to move this thread.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=861

RoisinDee

notjustsweet wrote: »

Why are you only getting €100 per week? JA is €188 so where is the rest of it.
Why aren't you eligible for rent allowance?
Have you applied for a medical card?

For anyone under 25 it's €100 per wk. I am 19 so..

I just don't meet the criteria for rent allowance, such as not away from my mothers home for more than 6 months.

Yes I have and I do have one but I was in hospital over the border in Northern Ireland where my medical card was not valid so that is where the €500 in medical bills comes from.

JigglyMcJabs

Have you been to a citizens advice centre? In your situation you should be eligible for more help. The social welfare people will often fob you off and usually won't tell you about all your entitlements.
Have you been to counselling with a psychologist or just to a psychiatrist?
I'd also suggest that your boyfriend should look for at least part time work, it will help financially and the routine would be good for his mental health. It's also probably not good for your recovery to always be leaning on him. You should definitely make an appointment with the local community welfare officer, they can authorise payments outside the usual rules in cases of hardship like yours. Take care of yourself!

dellas1979

To an outsider here reading your post (with sympathy), you are caught in a cycle (only you and/or him can break it).

Can I ask (or ask yourself), what is the actual (under lying) reason (not just the physical problems and panic attacks) that your bf cant leave you alone (and work)?

Could it even be something part time that he could take?

How does that suggestion make you feel?

OP, I read your post quickly and with a strange sense of urgency. That's how your current situation and state of mind appears to me, urgent and panicked and sure why wouldn't it be. You have an awful lot going on. Struggling financially is tough, couple that with deep emotional struggles and you will quickly find yourself getting dragged under.

I'm not too familiar with what entitlements you may be able to receive. What I will say to you is find a good therapist. Now I'm not talking about a psychiatrist. A good psychotherapist will help unravel your current state of mind and hopefully get to the root of your feelings. Low cost therapy centres exist and some will see you free of charge.

You need a lot of support right now. I wish you the best.

RoisinDee

JigglyMcJabs wrote: »

Have you been to a citizens advice centre? In your situation you should be eligible for more help. The social welfare people will often fob you off and usually won't tell you about all your entitlements.
Have you been to counselling with a psychologist or just to a psychiatrist?
I'd also suggest that your boyfriend should look for at least part time work, it will help financially and the routine would be good for his mental health. It's also probably not good for your recovery to always be leaning on him.

No I haven't been to the citizens advice centre, I will do that next week, thank you.

I am currently seeing a clinical psychologist. Also have seen psychiatrists.

Thank you for your advice

RoisinDee

dellas1979 wrote: »

To an outsider here reading your post (with sympathy), you are caught in a cycle (only you and/or him can break it).

Can I ask (or ask yourself), what is the actual (under lying) reason (not just the physical problems and panic attacks) that your bf cant leave you alone (and work)?

Could it even be something part time that he could take?

How does that suggestion make you feel?

I suppose it's just my inability to cope with even doing the simplest of things that makes him and myself feel that I couldn't be alone for long periods of time, and I know that isn't fair and Its unreasonable.. And i know that needs to change

dellas1979

RoisinDee wrote: »

I suppose it's just my inability to cope with even doing the simplest of things that makes him and myself feel that I couldn't be alone for long periods of time, and I know that isn't fair and Its unreasonable.. And i know that needs to change

What do you mean by "inability to cope with even doing the simplest of things" (just trying to get a better picture - are you talking about cooking/toilet and such things, or that you are a possible danger to yourself?). Just trying to rationalise it out why he needs to be there 24/7 and how it would make you feel for him to return to work.

You know things needs to change, and recognising that is already a step in the right direction.

njs030

The criteria for rent allowance is 6 months renting etc or being on the county council housing list, apply to them first thing on Monday as it can take a while to get approved.

Your boyfriend should be eligible for carers allowance as said above.

Apply for all these things and then go in and speak to the community welfare officer and ask them for help.

irishgirl19

First off get a EHIC card. It will cover you if you need treatment in the north again. You just need to fill out a form.
Hopefully when you get approved disability, is it possible for your boyfriend to get maybe carers allowance for looking after you?

njs030

irishgirl19 wrote: »

First off get a EHIC card. It will cover you if you need treatment in the north again. You just need to fill out a form.
Hopefully when you get approved disability, is it possible for your boyfriend to get maybe carers allowance for looking after you?

I think the problem is more urgent than that, from what op has written they have €20 per week. Carers allowance takes months to qualify for, they seem in a serious predicament.

Keane2baMused

Go to your local community welfare officer and explain the situation. They can top up your payment with supplementary welfare allowance when they means test you and see your incomings are not enough to cover your outgoings.

I hope things begin to improve for you soon

Rubberchikken

first off, don/t be so hard on yourself. you're doing the best you can in tough circumstances. you have a debt, but you're paying it off.
you're health is the most important thing though and that needs to be sorted. it's good that you're seeing someone but if you feel things are not been helped by this, then chat with your gp.

apply for a medical card. talk to your local community welfare officer. and call to the st v de paul again if you need help. they're there for that reason and when a person is in genuine need, ask for help.

take care