3rd date advice

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

Right so I need advice (like everyone else here!). I've been on two dates with a girl I met on Tinder. We were texting for a bit, then we went on a date which went really well. Second date this week which I thought went well as well. We kissed good night on both occasions. Said we have a fun/lovely time see you again soon etc.. She's lovely and I actually really like her. We seem to get on when we meet.The problem is I don't hear from her unless I text her; she'll text me straight back but it's always me starting the convo. I want to push this on and will ask her for a third date but in some ways I feel like she's holding back. I've been single for ages and have been on dates a good bit but this girl is genuinely lovely and I don't know if having the lets stop counting dates chat is appropriate on a third date? I suppose because it's me that always initiates the convo I'd like a bit of an insight into her feelings to me. I find her difficult to read in general but if she wanted to go on a second date (which went well) do I just go with the flow and keep looking for dates? Also I've a gig I'm going to on Tuesday, there's a guy from my home town playing. Thinking of inviting her to it, but a number of my friends + gf's will be there. Not sure if I'm pushing it too forward asking her to it or is a 3rd/4th date too early to bump into some of my best friends?

bmwguy

Fnfndjdidjdndjfj wrote: »

Hi everyone,

Right so I need advice (like everyone else here!). I've been on two dates with a girl I met on Tinder. We were texting for a bit, then we went on a date which went really well. Second date this week which I thought went well as well. We kissed good night on both occasions. Said we have a fun/lovely time see you again soon etc.. She's lovely and I actually really like her. We seem to get on when we meet.The problem is I don't hear from her unless I text her; she'll text me straight back but it's always me starting the convo. I want to push this on and will ask her for a third date but in some ways I feel like she's holding back. I've been single for ages and have been on dates a good bit but this girl is genuinely lovely and I don't know if having the lets stop counting dates chat is appropriate on a third date? I suppose because it's me that always initiates the convo I'd like a bit of an insight into her feelings to me. I find her difficult to read in general but if she wanted to go on a second date (which went well) do I just go with the flow and keep looking for dates? Also I've a gig I'm going to on Tuesday, there's a guy from my home town playing. Thinking of inviting her to it, but a number of my friends + gf's will be there. Not sure if I'm pushing it too forward asking her to it or is a 3rd/4th date too early to bump into some of my best friends?

It's often that one party in a relationship will do all the running. Especially early. Don't overthink this. She may be afraid of opening up and then getting rejected. Ladies can sometime stick to the old fashioned idea of men doing all the asking out etc, not that there is anything wrong with that. It can be tough being a man doing all the chasing but that's the reality of it, not belittling her in any way she may turn out to be perfect. Until it's official that you two are an item it may be this way. Enjoy the chase though it's sometimes as exciting as the catch.

Ice Storm

I'm in a similar situation in that I'm going on a third date soon with a guy I met online.

This is just based on my current experience it may not apply to you but it could be relevant.

I find that he is a bit full on with texting.. I'm not a big texter and don't feel the need to text all day everyday. So he usually initiates the conversation as I would be happy to hold out a bit longer but he gets in there first! I do try to make an effort though so he knows I'm interested! Maybe she is just not a big texter?

Also, for me, I would think it too soon to be discussing stopping counting dates and definitely too soon for meeting friends! I wouldn't want the pressure at such an early stage but everyone is different. No harm inviting her maybe but make it easy for her to say no if she's not comfortable with it.

ja1986

When I first met my other half I never texted first or made the first contact. Iv always been like that it's very weird I don't know why I do it. I suppose a girl likes the chase. I would sit looking at my phone for hours waiting for a text,no way would I make the first move.!!! A few months later he says to me he didn't really think I was interested in him that much because I was so cool with him. I dunno. It's mental what goes on in a woman's head!!

PsychoSue

Personally if it was me back when I was dating and a guy asked me to a gig and we went and a good few of his friends were there I'd ASSUME that he knew they were going to be there. Sure they're your friends after all and it would make me really uneasy to "bump" into a group of his friends so early on.
So in my opinion if you're going to invite her and you plan on going with your friends let her know this but if you want to go with just her I think you still should mention that they'll be there and you MIGHT bump into them and then let her make up her mind.
Personally the possibility of bumping into friends after 2 dates would freak me out but who knows she might be all up for it!!!