Whats the naughtiest thing you did in 2015

Specialun

For me it was boring..tryed to initiate a threesome after a wagon load of cheap cider..not having any of it

Besides that it was a bit vanilla

What about you AH

Fleawuss

I didn't eat my vegetables.

Chain Smoker

Stole a load of absinthe that was just sitting idly at a bar

It didn't end well

Mesrine65

Let a big fart off at a family mass, fairly ricocheted around the church & blamed it on an elderly relative...& I got away with it :pac::pac::pac:

frag420

I put the jam knife in the butter.....

harry Bailey esq

Specialun wrote: »

For me it was boring..tryed to initiate a threesome after a wagon load of cheap cider..not having any of it

Besides that it was a bit vanilla

What about you AH

Nothing,I done nothing,and have no more to say on any allegations of naughtyness at this present time.

Sunnyisland

Did my usual lying stealing cheaten way of life, then I went to confession so everything is grand now, roll on the 16...

kettlehead

Had a bit of fun in the swimming pool. "Hey, I can work offside for a bit."

We landed in our apartment - basic two bed - near the end of the tourist season. We got access to the three pools and all the slides and stuff in our Benalmadena gaff.

When we first landed up there were at least four lads and lassies on lifeguard duty.when business dwindled, hey dude, hey dude. You know both of us can understand and speak Spanish, eh?

Two of us bombing down the slides etc. Great craic.

Zombienosh

I left the immersion on.

Larry the Logster

I may have re-reged on a certain website.

AnonoBoy

kettlehead wrote: »

Had a bit of fun in the swimming pool. "Hey, I can work offside for a bit."

We landed in our apartment - basic two bed - near the end of the tourist season. We got access to the three pools and all the slides and stuff in our Benalmadena gaff.

When we first landed up there were at least four lads and lassies on lifeguard duty.when business dwindled, hey dude, hey dude. You know both of us can understand and speak Spanish, eh?

Two of us bombing down the slides etc. Great craic.

What the Jesus Athlone-flooding Christ are you talking about?

Specialun

kettlehead wrote: »

Had a bit of fun in the swimming pool. "Hey, I can work offside for a bit."

We landed in our apartment - basic two bed - near the end of the tourist season. We got access to the three pools and all the slides and stuff in our Benalmadena gaff.

When we first landed up there were at least four lads and lassies on lifeguard duty.when business dwindled, hey dude, hey dude. You know both of us can understand and speak Spanish, eh?

Two of us bombing down the slides etc. Great craic.

Me no comprendre

Mister Vain

I spanked my own arse.

Peregrine

frag420 wrote: »

I put the jam knife in the butter.....

You sicken me. :eek:

The Backwards Man

It's a sure sign of getting old when you can't remember one thing you did in a year that would be bold. Crossed the road before the green man I suppose.

whiskeyman

I put it in the wrong hole.








Ended up with a triple bogey

mikeym

I still havent paid my water bill

C.K Dexter Haven

I claimed I was Spartacus when I wasn't really Spartacus at all.

Avatar MIA

No Kyoment

I went to sleep without brushing my teeth.

The other day I asked my mum to make me a cup of tea, and I didn't even say please.

When I was driving somewhere a few weeks ago, I saw a neighbour I don't like trying to flag me down and I knew it was for a lift. I pretended I didn't see him, AND I enjoyed it.

I put some recyclables in the trash bin, to save myself two trips to the chute. I wasn't even sorry or anything.

There's more, it's not pretty.

Paramite Pie

I had to cancel a pre-arranged threesome. I don't get much action (reasonably good looking but shy) and I thought it'd be a fun idea. Something different. Oh well...

Maybe I'll be naughty in 2016.

NachoBusiness

Lied about my age quite a bit.

Hey, women do it all the time and nobody cares.

I had my fun and that's all that matters.

Medusa22

A new year wipes the slate clean right, right??

IamtheWalrus

Bought a see-through rubbery dildo and used it on myself 3 times.

Mesrine65

Medusa22 wrote: »

A new year wipes the slate clean right, right??

You wish

Mesrine65

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Bought a see-through rubbery dildo and used it on myself 3 times.

Does see through make a difference?

IamtheWalrus

Mesrine65 wrote: »

Does see through make a difference?

Less intimidating.

bazza1

Went to confession.
Told lies in confession.
Back to square one.

WoollyRedHat

I teabagged the local priest.

kettlehead

AnonoBoy wrote: »

What the Jesus Athlone-flooding Christ are you talking about?

Rode in the Andalusian swimming pool.

kettlehead

I'm gonna let ye in on something here lads. For every "refugee" that rapes or violently attacks someone. Someone that has called for "refugees welcome" or "open borders" is going to be asked to pay repercussions.

Welcome to 2016.

MOD-Banned.

Hammer89

Performed cunnilingus on one of those Asian massage girls:

Hammer89 wrote: »

I have experience of one of these places in Toronto. Firstly, I got very drunk, which allowed me to lower my morality enough to engage in these type of seedy adventures.

Then I climbed what seemed like 50 steps in a very narrow stairway in a two-storey building, with the parlour at the top floor naturally. Remember in the third Lord of the Rings, where Frodo and Sam take a back staircase to Mordor or something? That's what the stairs were like. Very long, very steep, and there's just no going back once you reach a certain point.

I should point out that these places have huge lighted signs outside them saying 'massage' - and if the sign is still lighting at, say, 11pm then you know you're in business.

Anyways, after reaching the summit, I knocked on the door a couple of times and was eventually greeted by an Asian woman, who ushered me into the room and told me, in broken English, to keep quiet. It was a little like being in a library, but instead of disturbing students, you'd be disturbing her sleeping kids (probably) and a few businessmen getting w*nked off.

She brings me into a dark room. I'm quite nervous at this point because I've never frequented one of these joints before. She tells me that the room is $40, not including tips. That was the first lie, because it was $60 not including tips. Then she mentions that she'll return with a "very beautiful girl". That was the second lie.

About five minutes passed and I need a shower more than a massage at this point because I'm sweating buckets with nerves. I'm also overthinking things now: "I'm p*ssed and what if I can't get it up?" I ask myself. But I'm in too deep to quit. She comes back with a slightly chubby Asian woman in a bikini and it's show time.

We're left together and she shuts the light off almost instantly, which does nothing for my confidence. I can only assume she heard me speak and wanted to imagine she was giving Colin Farrel or Bono a w*nk instead of me. But things wouldn't happen like that.

I ask can I give her a massage first, you know, to get the juices flowing. She obliges, climbs out of her bikini and lies stomach down on the bed. I should point out that I don't know what's fair game here and what isn't. Can I touch her gee without her sounding the alarm and two sumos coming in and throwing me down those stairs? I ask and I'm given permission. Wonderful. She's on her back at this point.

I'm fingering her, with one finger, for a couple of minutes and it's doing nothing for the little lad. I ask can I suck her nipples and I'm given permission. Wonderful. But it's still not having the desired effect. I need to step things up a notch so I'm then eating her out hoping to wake up junior, but I was basically just licking her pubes for about five minutes because I'm no great shakes in that department. I felt like a cat cleaning itself.

I'm still too soft, and I'm not having her yanking on a soft willy for what could be an hour, so I cut my losses and leave. What's the moral of the story? I don't know, but I think it's a funny tale. I should point out that it's one million percent true.

There was a time when I was immensely ashamed of myself for such an adventure, but I'm over it now.

RayM

On Christmas Day, I may have driven a car whilst under the influence of alcohol. I don't drink, so I offered my brother a lift home... but I completely forgot about the very boozy trifle I had for dessert. It was only later that evening, when someone referred to the amount of alcohol in the trifle, that it occurred to me that I might potentially have been over the limit.

Azalea

I had an After Eight before 8 - fuq tha Law!!!

kylith

Broke some hearts. Here's to breaking a few more next year.

Hammer89

Hammer89 wrote: »

Performed cunnilingus on one of those Asian massage girls:



There was a time when I was immensely ashamed of myself for such an adventure, but I'm over it now.

Haha that is some story man, thanks for sharing it! Gives me the courage to share my experience:

So….. I had my first attempt with an Asian lady of the night. I went in all guns blazing (hammered and trying to act tough) I was in the waiting room with all the other sleaze balls when the main hoe brought out 4 women to choose from, I was drunk enough so jumped up to choose this sort of Milfy looking one and she takes me to a back room.
She then strips off and jumps into a shower that’s in the room. So this being my first time I’m thinking ok I’ll have a bit of this, so I follow her in (in the nip of course) and she starts screaming “no no no not yet” . So that was strike one

She then gets out of the shower and say’s “ok , you’re turn” so then I had to go shower and I scrubbed, and give downstairs quite a rub to get the juices flowing :P I come out of the shower and there she is sprawled out on the bed and she invites me on to join her. So I jump on and let her do her work, but nothing’s happening downstairs for me and she tries talking dirty in broken English, oh yes, you like, you so big. And this is obviously doing nothing for me. So I asked her to kiss me or something to help me get it going and she says you pay extra to kiss! Strike 2

So after saying fúck it no kissing just told her to get on top and try work it from there, so it’s actually happening I get “there” and its going ok and then she decides to flip back over shouting (and I mean shouting) “yes, you go now, you so big” and this for me was strike 3.

I got up with my tail between my legs and scurried home. Dreadful experience and quite emotionally damaging to be honest.

starry_eyed

Went in the back entrance. It's a more narrow corridor but welcoming.

fleet_admiral

I stole a pencil from Argos

IsMiseMyself

Snipped.

ToddyDoody

Inspired by some of the porn I was watching, I went for a facial.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Going on a mad one after being off the drink for most of the year, over estimating my capabilities and without getting into the ins and the outs of the rest of it, searching daft for about two days looking at possible places to move to where nobody would know me.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Deleted User wrote: »

Haha that is some story man, thanks for sharing it! Gives me the courage to share my experience:

So….. I had my first attempt with an Asian lady of the night. I went in all guns blazing (hammered and trying to act tough) I was in the waiting room with all the other sleaze balls when the main hoe brought out 4 women to choose from, I was drunk enough so jumped up to choose this sort of Milfy looking one and she takes me to a back room.
She then strips off and jumps into a shower that’s in the room. So this being my first time I’m thinking ok I’ll have a bit of this, so I follow her in (in the nip of course) and she starts screaming “no no no not yet” . So that was strike one

She then gets out of the shower and say’s “ok , you’re turn” so then I had to go shower and I scrubbed, and give downstairs quite a rub to get the juices flowing :P I come out of the shower and there she is sprawled out on the bed and she invites me on to join her. So I jump on and let her do her work, but nothing’s happening downstairs for me and she tries talking dirty in broken English, oh yes, you like, you so big. And this is obviously doing nothing for me. So I asked her to kiss me or something to help me get it going and she says you pay extra to kiss! Strike 2

So after saying fúck it no kissing just told her to get on top and try work it from there, so it’s actually happening I get “there” and its going ok and then she decides to flip back over shouting (and I mean shouting) “yes, you go now, you so big” and this for me was strike 3.

I got up with my tail between my legs and scurried home. Dreadful experience and quite emotionally damaging to be honest.

Tail between your legs

MRnotlob606

I donkey punched a donkey

Hammer89

Hammer89 wrote: »

There was a time when I was immensely ashamed of myself for such an adventure, but I'm over it now.

I don't know if I'll ever get over it. :eek:

Specialun

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

I donkey punched a donkey

You animal

boardsuser1

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Lied about my age quite a bit.

Hey, women do it all the time and nobody cares.

I had my fun and that's all that matters.

Is this Fr Fintan Stack :pac:

Hammer89

Deleted User wrote: »

Haha that is some story man, thanks for sharing it! Gives me the courage to share my experience:

So….. I had my first attempt with an Asian lady of the night. I went in all guns blazing (hammered and trying to act tough) I was in the waiting room with all the other sleaze balls when the main hoe brought out 4 women to choose from, I was drunk enough so jumped up to choose this sort of Milfy looking one and she takes me to a back room.
She then strips off and jumps into a shower that’s in the room. So this being my first time I’m thinking ok I’ll have a bit of this, so I follow her in (in the nip of course) and she starts screaming “no no no not yet” . So that was strike one.

I've heard those words in intimate encounters too

Internet Ham

Doctor Jimbob wrote: »

Even with it being New Year's Eve, you're on the sauce early.

He replied to me this morning at 5.30am and was equally incomprehensible. I was worried I was forgetting how to read!

His comments have a stream of consciousness type vibe. Imagine whats going on in there!

kettlehead

AnonoBoy wrote: »

What the Jesus Athlone-flooding Christ are you talking about?

Being honest...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoAxVtRSjAw

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YoAxVtRSjAw

smurgen

Someone was stealing biscuits at work.my biscuits.I shoved one between the cheeks of my ass and put it at the top.they were all ate over a 2 day period.I told the lads at the end of a lunch break what I'd done.faces dropped.

dubstarr

smurgen wrote: »

Someone was stealing biscuits at work.my biscuits.I shoved one between the cheeks of my ass and put it at the top.they were all ate over a 2 day period.I told the lads at the end of a lunch break what I'd done.faces dropped.

What where they Chocolate Digestives.:D