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Really uncomfortable in nightclubs

  • 30-12-2015 9:40pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey I don't really know where else to post this. I'm a young woman in her 20s and I get really anxious in nightclubs to the point where I can't enjoy myself. If I've had a drink I'm not too bad, still a bit self conscious but if I'm at all sober I just find being there so uncomfortable. Last time I was at a nightclub, I felt so uncomfortable I just wanted to leave. I don't want to be the kill joy to my friends who are having a great time but I just don't understand why I get so anxious.


    I find pubs okay but my friends mostly want to go to clubs so I feel like I have to, just to be social. I don't think it's even about looks, I get approached by guys. I'm told fairly often I'm a good looking girl and I get looks from guys quite a lot so I feel confident enough in the looks department. At this stage it's getting to the point where if my friends ask me to go out I dread it and just get this anxious feeling in my stomach.

    I don't really understand what's wrong with me and it's making me unhappy that I worry so much and can't even enjoy myself. I'm young, I should enjoy going out right?


Comments

  • #2
    athtrasna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,420 ✭✭✭✭athtrasna


    I've never been a nightclub fan, just because your friends enjoy them doesn't automatically mean you should. Try to suggest a compromise some nights, choose a bar with a late licence rather than a club. Many of these play music and may even have dance floors.


  • #3
    rainbowtrout
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,397 ✭✭✭✭rainbowtrout


    scaredofnightclubs wrote: »
    I don't really understand what's wrong with me and it's making me unhappy that I worry so much and can't even enjoy myself. I'm young, I should enjoy going out right?

    There's nothing wrong with you. Lots of people don't like nightclubs but feel they have to go with the flow because everyone else is going there. They are noisy, crowded, full of drunk people, the music is loud so you can't have a conversation, so you either have to roar at people or stand in silence sipping your drinks. Nightclubs can be fun depending on where you go, and what kind of crowd is in it but they are not the be all and end all.

    A night out doesn't have to be in a nightclub, like the other post said, maybe suggest an alternative place to go some night.


  • #4
    R.D. aka MR.D
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,643 ✭✭✭R.D. aka MR.D


    This is more common than you think. I absolutely hate nightclubs unless I'm fairly drunk. They aren't really designed for sober people. I honestly never realised that until I got my own car and became obsessed with driving myself home (didn't drink for almost 9 months!).

    I couldn't tell you the last time I was in a club. I'm 28. You'll find that the older you all get, the less likely you'll be going to a club anyway.

    But you say that you get anxious? That would be different from just simple dislike. Are you worried about something in particular? What does it feel like?

    If your friends are going to a club just tell them that you don't want to but you're happy to pre-game at someones house or go to the pub. You might be surprised to find some of them would rather do something else as well. Or what I'll sometimes do if my friends have a good bit of drink in them is to walk to the club with them from the pub or whatever and then at the last minute say 'I'm going to head home, I don't feel up for it. Have fun!'. By the time they get in, they've forgotten about the fact that you went home. You've already been out for the most memorable part anyway.


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