sex still uncomfortable after years

LegacyUser

Im not looking for medical advise for this.

Im 27 and been with my boyfriend for four years. We're very happy together and havea great life. He's kind considerate and attractive. We do lots of oral and both love it and I come from it.

He was the first man to enter me and it hurt the first time a lot. But its hurt since too. I get very wet for him and weve tried lubricants but still is uncomfortable or painful. Sometimes i get lots pleasure from it but then he gets excited and finished.

I don't have much to compare but what i saw with exes hes not big down there, below average

'no medical advice but its straining our relationship. We dont do it much. Any advice?

dudara

I would say that you really need to talk to your GP about this. Have you done this already?

bp

Yep, go to doctor

LegacyUser

I went to my Gp who was nice about it. Said I have no medical condition and that it is psychological and I need to learn to relax.

Sound Bite

Hi, if you are not comfortable discussing this with your GP, the wellwoman clinic/family planning clinic are excellent in dealing all aspects of sexual health.

intheclouds

While your GP was nice about it, it's not very helpful to be told that you just have to learn to relax!

Ask your GP to refer you on. There are techniques and physical exercises which include using increasing size devices by yourself to actually teach you how to relax.

Do some googling also and maybe get some books about it. Knowledge is power here, only when you understand what is happening can you change it.

Really, if after 4 years this hasn't resolved then you need better medical support than being told to learn to relax.

dudara

I'd agree with the poster above, your GP's response really isn't helping you. It might be time to seek a second opinion.

irishgirl19

I would go book in with a gynecologist in a well woman or family planning clinic. They would specialise in this and I imagine would be alot more helpful than your gp

Asmooh

helpinthebeddroom wrote: »

Im not looking for medical advise for this.

Im 27 and been with my boyfriend for four years. We're very happy together and havea great life. He's kind considerate and attractive. We do lots of oral and both love it and I come from it.

He was the first man to enter me and it hurt the first time a lot. But its hurt since too. I get very wet for him and weve tried lubricants but still is uncomfortable or painful. Sometimes i get lots pleasure from it but then he gets excited and finished.

I don't have much to compare but what i saw with exes hes not big down there, below average

'no medical advice but its straining our relationship. We dont do it much. Any advice?

To be honest, find someone else that can give you the perfect sex life. You won't be happy with someone as you describe above.

I can understand that you think he looks good and more but sex is important, set a minimum limit or so if you want someone else. Example not below a certain amount of centimeter, 20 or so?


About the pain: are you sure that you are wet enough and really really want it? Because if you don't feel comfortable it can hurt just because of it.

But that is my opinion

endacl

Asmooh wrote: »

To be honest, find someone else that can give you the perfect sex life. You won't be happy with someone as you describe above.

I can understand that you think he looks good and more but sex is important, set a minimum limit or so if you want someone else. Example not below a certain amount of centimeter, 20 or so?


About the pain: are you sure that you are wet enough and really really want it? Because if you don't feel comfortable it can hurt just because of it.

But that is my opinion

That's helpful.... how...?

bloominballix

Asmooh wrote: »

To be honest, find someone else that can give you the perfect sex life. You won't be happy with someone as you describe above.

I can understand that you think he looks good and more but sex is important, set a minimum limit or so if you want someone else. Example not below a certain amount of centimeter, 20 or so?


About the pain: are you sure that you are wet enough and really really want it? Because if you don't feel comfortable it can hurt just because of it.

But that is my opinion

WTF are you on about?

dudara

@Posters - if you have an issue with a post, please use Report Post, rather than responding on thread. Plus, please watch the language.

@Asmooh - you might want to consider that the poster loves her partner and that there may be other issues going on here that won't be solved by dumping him.

dudara

LegacyUser

Hi,
Could have written your post myself. Had a ton of well meaning gps tell me that I was with the wrong guy or that I just needed to relax. Went on for 10 years and was so so upsetting. Finally got a referral to a gynecologist and she referred me to a pelvic floor physiotherapist. There are physiotherapists that specialise in this. Google pelvic floor dysfunction. It's more common than you think- just think people don't talk about it and many doctors aren't aware of it. Anyway its pain because your pelvic muscles are in constant spasm. It becomes this vicious cycle because the spasm causes pain which causes fear of pain which causes even more muscle tenseness. Treatment is combination of physio and breathing exercises. I can't say for sure that this is your problem but it might be the answer for you too. Look for pelvic floor physios in your area.
Regardless you can fix this and its great you have a supportive partner. Good luck.

intheclouds

You could also consider contacting these guys:
http://www.relationshipsireland.com/sex-therapy/common-sexual-problems/

bp

Try a specialist. A friend had something that sounds similar and got treatment and doing great now (didn't change partners )

LegacyUser

I have a similar problem to you in that I find sex very painful. I went to my GP about it who referred me to a gynaecologist. She was able to perform an exam and see if there was anything physically wrong or if it was psychological. In my case it was psychological, and I was diagnosed with a condition called vaginismus. I'm currently undergoing treatment with a specialised counsellor. I would encourage you to get a second opinion, or to ask to be referred to a gynaecologist as they would be more knowledgeable and helpful than your GP has been.