Should I stay or feel the fear and take a risk?

banoffe2

Hi all. I am in an admin job that I am over qualified for since 2009, was very glad to have the job come to my door during the height of the recession after the experience of being unemployed for 11 months and nothing out there at that time.

It’s a small but thriving local family business ( they have no overheads or borrowings) I am the only employee, which is a change for me I have good flexibility, it was great at the time but not anymore. There are zero opportunities for professional development or promotion there, even though I have been given more responsibility and have made a huge contribution to the organisational and customer services side of the company, this has been acknowledged but sadly there is no reward in it for me apart from job satisfaction and the security of a weekly wage.

There are only 3 involved not including myself, 2 men and a woman who is the glue that holds it all together, she puts up with a lot of unacceptable behaviour from her men a 70 yr old and 40 yr old whose behaviour is very juvenile and unprofessional, they have never worked for anyone else. She relies on me a lot and would confide in me, I always go the extra mile and take initiative only for her I wouldn’t have stayed. Not my own family.

I am very isolated there, I have never seen them smile, or laugh or ask me how am I, they are either moaning about not having enough work, having too much work, the cost of living, constantly putting customers down, everyone who need their services is a f...n idiot in their eyes, in a nutshell the energy is very negative, they haven’t a kind word for anyone and no scope for conversation unless you want an earful of their misery. I am always upbeat and this really helps me to cope and defuse the negativity. The reason I stayed is that I need the job badly and while I get paid for 2 days I work 4 mornings, this was at their request and to be honest I felt like I had won the lotto at the time, the package seemed good, a bit of give and take.

Problem is I am earning less now than when I started, they offered me a bonus for going the 4 mornings but this was stopped without notifying me 2 years ago, I went through a horrible time with them (their own insecurities and issues) and I got the brunt of it, I handled the situation well and stood up to them, it was like silent treatment and bullying, eventually after a lot of sleepless nights and stress and the support of my GP who advised me to stay, I got 75 % my bonus back, I was aware that people were taking pay cuts , they didn’t want to lose me and their behaviour towards me has greatly improved since, they know not to cross the line. The business was recovering from recession even though I was doing the same work but more responsibility and put a lot of money in their way as a result of my experience and skills.
I have been approached about a new start up job that would mean more opportunities, meeting more people and more challenges; it would part time to begin with. I also have a small side line which I really love and it helps to make ends meet but couldn't rely on it. It would is possible to keep the 3 jobs going for a start, I have some fears and am optimistic about change and new opportunities, thing is I am getting holidays tomorrow and have decided to break the news to my current employer, after receiving a mean Xmas gift which will hurt them go give as they are exceptionally mean and greedy. There is a possibility of doing 2 full days and holding on to it for the time being, I know they would find it hard to get anyone to work with them and for them not to mention training someone in, I trained them, my fear is that the frost bite could return after the holidays on the other hand it may be a wakeup call, I am going to play safe and see how the start up goes I have the opportunity to work one day a week and part time from home, any suggestions most welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read my rant any advise welcome

Stheno

I'd give it a go tbh, what have you got to lose?

Senna

Sounds like a no brainer, you can try out the new job while keeping old old job, if new one is better jump, if you prefer old one, then nothing lost.

I wouldn't worry about loyalty, I spent 11 years with one company and leaving was the best decision I ever made, my only regret is not leaving sooner.

banoffe2

Thanks for the feedback not worried about loyalty to be honest more concerned about the consequences my present employer knowing that I could be on the move and that the hostility could return or on the other hand I may get a better deal in order to hold onto me, or I could keep my mouth shut and say noting, and try the new one, part of me wants to give them a good kick in the ass and a wake up call. Id be gone in a heart beat if I could, my fear comes from the reality and experience of being unemployed for almost a year and cycling 5 miles to draw my stamps every week in order to save on fuel was a huge learning curve for me.

Senna

OK, I understand, but can you try the new job without your current employer finding out?

banoffe2

Thanks Senna I could so that no bother but wondering would I be better to tell them about the offer in order to give them a wake up call?

the_pen_turner

tell them nothing.
what business is it of theirs. they pay you to work 2 days , the rest is your do what you please.
there could be some issues in relation to insider trading business strategies etc. but only you know if that's applicable

Senna

No I wouldn't you are just asking for an awkward environment should it not work out, you are in a very unusual and fortune situation, you can try the new job first without jeopardising old job, then you have loads of options.
Say you hate the new job, then you could tell current employer and see what offer they would make.
But say you don't love the new job but it's OK, you could approach current boss and make a demand, you have the other job to fall back on, so you have a lot of bargaining power.
Then say you love the new job, still might be worth seeing what your old boss would offer you to keep you.

I'd be all for keeping things close to chest, then when you have all the information you can decide what to do.

banoffe2

Hi all, just to update you on my decision to tell them or not. After a few sleepless nights and my stress levels were up I made the decision to tell my bosses' wife (who is the one I report to and the glue that holds it all together) that an opportunity came my way for 2016 which will involve another part time job. My motive for telling them was that I wanted to give them wake up call and let them know that I wasn't depending on them, the more their business thrives the meaner and greedier they get, never happy but very happy with my work and contribution. I had to do it for my own peace of mind before Xmas as going there just sucks my energy I guess the environment isn't good for me anymore I feel very isolated there and the only one who has a laugh is myself, their energy creams dysfunction and negativity. If there was an award for the meanest person they would be well up there with the winners! She was saying how she would drop in my envelope ( meaning my Xmas gift) as she hadn't a penny in her pocket. I remember one year when she as giving it to me she told me about all the bills she had to pay, don't know what her motive was. After she thanking me for my work during the year and wishing me well for 2016, I had my moment that I had been looking forward to, I had my mouth barely opened when she said are you leaving next year, perhaps it was her reaction to shock, I asked her to hear me out and told her that I will need a P60 for my new employer I haven't been asked for it but just a strategy to make it more real, she said will you be doing the 2 days instead of the 4 mornings and I said yes but that there would be nothing happening until the end of January that we had a few meetings and a final meeting mid January which is true. She said I would want to mind myself with 2 jobs and a side line but I know too well that this was not for my benefit. I felt a great relief to have said it and I know from experience that it will put a damper on things for them as they are quite insecure and have a serious fear of change, and would find it very hard to trust anyone, I have the key of the house when they are out to lock up etc. they rely on me a lot.It sucks to know I am earning the same now as I was when I started there at the end of 2009. She came to my door today with my gift of a voucher for €100, I was in great form and timing couldn't have been better, I know its only given because they feel they have to, when I hear about what others get for Xmas it sounds mean, I know they are not obliged to give anything, but I go the extra mile all the time, I am glad that 2016 will bring about a change and that I will be only in the prison for 2 full days a week they were really getting the best out of me with 4 half days. It will be interesting to see their reaction and response, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders since I broke the news.
They are the type that hate to see anyone else doing well which I am and they know it, but at least I did it on my own in the midst of huge adversity, that makes it sweeter, on a brighter note I got a gift of lottery tickets in a Xmas card today and won €4 ea on two of them, hope my luck is in!!! Merry Xmas and hope that 2016 brings you good health, prosperity and everything that you wish for.

Kristopherus

OP,what I'd like to know is what is a 70yr old doing there? He should've been put out to grass at 65 and a new, younger person as like yourself take on. That would have changed the dynamic of the place.

banoffe2

Thanks Kristopherus, I agree the parents are both OAP's but when you are addicted to money you cant stop working to feed the addiction, of course they could well afford to retire but the only thing that fuels them is the prospect of making money, the son is 40 but has no friends, no social life, no holidays, living with Mammy and Daddy and barely able to cope! I hope they have the runs all over Xmas and that I have put the stress back where it needs to be, sorry for the rant but I needed that, I am allergic to meanness. Son wouldn't have a hope of managing on his own for more than 15 minutes without phoning Mammy or Daddy, serious interdependency and insecurity, he couldn't go to a meeting on his own and father or son don't know how to send a fax!! Watch this space!!