Are people in relationships more desirable ?

Jim Bob Scratcher

I think they are. When I was in a relationship I noticed I gotway more attention from the opposite sex for some reason than when I was single. Has anyone else noticed this ?

TallGlass

Honestly. Not really !

Andre 3000

It's common knowledge that being around women already makes you more attractive to other women as they see you're socially adept and not a weirdo. Also there's the fact that you're not going to be desperate chasing women as you already have one which enables you to actually talk to a woman. It may also attract women who love what they can't have and all that too.

The Backwards Man

It's a fallacy, the same as someone else's chips taste nicer, their pint looks cooler and crisper, and when you're going past their house at night and the living room window is open, the telly looks more exciting.

the evasion_kid

feast or famine....its called pre-selection

biko

Nope. Not to me anyway.

Midnight Sundance

I've talked about this with friends before. I think that when you are in a relationship you are more confident at times when talking to people. The reason being- if you're single you're afraid that striking up a conversation with a stranger will send out the wrong signal. You might not fancy a person and if you talk to them you're afraid that they'll take it as you leading them on.
When you're not single you've the security blanket of being able to say that you're with someone.
I dunno . I'm sure people will disagree but I know myself and other friends have noticed the same.

jamesbere

That's why I'm not getting female attention. I should be in a relationship, can I borrow someone's girlfriend for a week?

GLaDOS

When I was single I had no luck with women, not interested in me in the slightest.

I'm in a long term relationship now and other women still have no interest in me.

In conclusion, I'm probably not very attractive, regardless :pac:

the_syco

The women who go after men with gf's see how happy the gf is, and think that if they replace your gf, that they can be as happy as your gf is.

beks101

I guess it's that "stamp of approval" thing. You're already "vetted", someone has already signed up. That pricks people's ears a little.

I think too people like to look at couples. Size them up, watch the dynamic between them, who's more attractive, what did they see in each other, what's the body language like. It's like people watching ramped up a few notches.

Graham

When you're in a relationship you loose that desperate-to-get-your-leg-over aura. This immediately makes women feel less threatened and thus more relaxed around you which increases your attractiveness. It's been scientifically proven that small puppies and children have the same calming effect.

YungKeo

I thought women were interested in me before I got into a relationship.
Now that I'm in a relationship I still think women are interested in me.

Maybe I'm just narcissistic:D

EoghanIRL

People want what they can't have.

Figbiscuithead

Andre 3000 wrote: »

It's common knowledge that being around women already makes you more attractive to other women as they see you're socially adept and not a weirdo. Also there's the fact that you're not going to be desperate chasing women as you already have one which enables you to actually talk to a woman. It may also attract women who love what they can't have and all that too.

I'd say a man who has female friends is more attractive to me than not. A man with a mixed gender group of friends is more attractive to me than a lad surrounded by a big gang of other guys, probably for the reason highlighted above.

beks101 wrote: »

I think too people like to look at couples. Size them up, watch the dynamic between them, who's more attractive, what did they see in each other, what's the body language like. It's like people watching ramped up a few notches.

Yes! I think in some cases people assume they're being checked out when they're with their partner but I love to observe the dynamics of other couples. I was looking without realising at a couple tonight on the train where the guy seemed annoyed the girl was laughing and messing and I was trying to figure out what was going on to pass the time. I think couples tend to draw the attention of others anyway.

masti123

Being in a relationship doesn't make a woman more attractive, but being attractive makes a woman more likely to be in a relationship.

BenedrylPete

Money.

I think a part of this is it makes men more approachable since women feel they're less likely to get the wrong idea if they start chatting to them, and are less likely to be on the receiving end of a bit of clumsy flirting.

Senna

I'm in a relationship...... I'm NOT desirable.

beks101

Figbiscuithead wrote: »

I think in some cases people assume they're being checked out when they're with their partner but I love to observe the dynamics of other couples. I was looking without realising at a couple tonight on the train where the guy seemed annoyed the girl was laughing and messing and I was trying to figure out what was going on to pass the time. I think couples tend to draw the attention of others anyway.

I do this too! Last time I was passing through the airport, there was a couple on the same flight as me and the girlfriend clearly had the hump with her fella. I was sitting across from them in the departure lounge watching the body language between the two of them, she was leaning away from him and every so often he'd lean in sheepishly and try to plant a kiss on her cheek and she was having none of it. Ample entertainment for a good half hour :pac:

I've noticed as many women as men looking at me when I'm walking down the street holding my OH's hand and I'd imagine they're doing the same thing. Just clocking the pair of us.

Azalea

BenedrylPete wrote: »

Money.

... Books.

Fox_In_Socks

No they're not.

They are all ugly and riddled with the pox.




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Now, I'm off to the workhouse to laugh at some orphans.

cantdecide

I'm no Lothario and I haven't had lots of relationships but I met my ex when I was very actively avoiding romance. I'd kind of had a false summit with someone I really liked and it knocked me back a lot. I decided to abstain indefinitely and it was a good decision and became a very peaceful time in my life which I'd really enjoyed.

Women, even strangers see you differently when you have zero interest or you're unavailable. It's the darnedest thing.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I notice this too, and I think it's akin to guys waving their dicks about claiming to be the biggest. Guys that would have absolutely no interest in me when I'm single will try when I'm not single. There's way more options when you're with someone else, maybe it's because the guys I seem to attract like a challenge but lack capability on following through on things. It's an ego thing.

dr.bollocko

LexieOnRale wrote: »

guys waving their dicks about claiming to be the biggest.

We're always at that. In church, in restaurants, work meetings, on the bus.
You just can't stop us. It's only going to get worse with the new star wars movie. We colour them in with neon markers and have light sabre fights. Slap mickeys we call it.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Good grief dr B. Don't do that. Imagine the confusion. A rake of Chungwans agreeing to meet at the spire but before you know it, it'll be a massive dick and not the spire at all.

I have seen a lot of single people who simply oooooze their agenda when they talk to the opposite sex. And it is really off putting. And the people oozing it tend not to notice it in themselves or aware they are giving it off.

So if there is anything to the pattern the OP describes - I would suspect it has a lot to do with that. People who are not oozing that agenda out of every pour are - not more attractive per se - but simply less off putting.

kylith

Confidence is sexy, this is not a new idea. When you're in a relationship you are more confident in yourself, which is attractive. You're also not trying to impress anyone so you're more relaxed, which is also attractive.

If people who know you're taken flirt with you it's probably like the restaurant effect: the way that if one couple go into an empty restaurant others will follow them because the unconciously think that the people in there know that the food is good. Same in relationships; if people see you in a relationship they assume that you are a desirable relationship partner.

NachoBusiness

Don't think it has anything to do with confidence. Imo, it's all about social status and girls from a very young age are attracted to guys with high social status and you could be the most insecure, nervous, shy guy in the world and women will fall at your feet regardless. Last night I was at a gig (being my usual invisible self) and shortly before it one of the band members (who I know) came over and chatted for a bit. Over the next half hour I was approached by two different women and got the glad eye off loads more. Something which never happens to me, until at least 3am anyway. Funny enough the last time I was in this chap's company I hooked up with this really beautiful girl who I knew very well thought I had something to do with this particular band. I know I should have explained that I really didn't, but she didn't have very good English and I was having so much fun I thought it would be rude to spoil it.

If that is any measure of the level of sexual attention famous guys must get, fair play to any celeb who is in a monogamous relationship as temptation must be 24/7.

I'm not sure the same applies to women though, with regard to them becoming more desirable when attached. Tbh, I don't think men care to the same degree. If I see a woman in a bar or wherever, I can't envisage not seeing her and not being attracted to her one minute but then seeing her with a guy and that suddenly changing. It's not a criteria for men that women must be vetted in some way.

sbsquarepants

It's a well known fact that women have a better sense of smell than grizzly bears (sharper claws too). They can smell the fanny off you and they are compelled by strange hormonal forces beyond their control to cancel it out with their own scent.
It's very similar to your dog needing to piss on every second lamp post.:D

whiskeyman

When I was single, I would often go out and pretend to 'act married' to use this train of thought to score the chicks.

It always worked a treat. The girls would go crazy for me as I said I had to leave early because I had to fix the oven door in the morning...

Shrap

Hasn't happened often, but the few times I have been hit on while in a relationship it's invariably been by men who are "a bit of a lad"/player. I've always put it down to the unavailability factor being a challenge and if they even get a glimmer of attention off someone in a relationship, they'll chalk that up as a victory. Men and women both, some get their kicks out of hard-to-get attention.

suicide_circus

I certainly get more flirting since being in a LTR. But I also get more flirting the older I get so I'm not sure what the cause is...

blue note

I used to think this was true. I had limited interest in me then I got a girlfriend and pretty quickly I noticed some interest. But then I broke up with her and thought the interest would disappear, but it didn't. I ended up sleeping with a couple of them after, which was great to be honest. My confidence was really low, so it was a big boost for me. And it was fun