I cried

LegacyUser

I met a date tonight and we were getting on swimmingly until he kissed me. We were kissing and his hands were roaming, I pulled them away and started crying I have huge trust issues with men because my ex was an emotional abuser.. We have children so he is still in my life.

I don't know what led me to cry but I still feel like crying about it. I don't want to have to indulge my past if there's a possible new relationship on the horizon, but there's a serious fear there.. Of what I don't know..
People will mention counselling..I've been going for for a while.

Has this ever happened to someone who was abused in a relationship and was looking at starting a new relationship

Rubberchikken

i can't give any advice from a personal standpoint, but i'd say your reaction was normal especially after your past relationship.

it's good that you're going to counselling and hopefully it will help but it may take a bit of time.

it's not 'indulging' to acknowledge that relationship. it obviously did damage that will take time to rectify.

to have a healthy relationship you'll need to be in the right frame of mind and with help and support that will come.

take care

Oryx

Youre letting someone past your boundaries and given your past its natural that would trigger your emotions of fear and vulnerability. The good part is that it helps you acknowledge the feelings that are still there so you can deal with them. If this guy is a real prospect, tell him why that happened. It will help build trust so that it will be easier for both of you to deal with. You need to talk to someone, it will help to have teased out whats going on in your head before an intimate situation triggers a raw response again.

Hemerodrome

Even if you don't intend to see that guy again, tell him why you reacted like that, just a paraphrased version. You'll both feel better about it and it'll be a good step for you in sorting out your feelings before you're ready to try dating again.