Best friend

LegacyUser

I have a friend who I am/was very close to. When we were younger, we were inseparable, people thought we were gay. But over the years, we've had relationships, she is now engaged and has her own house and I have a child.

I had a fall out with this friend a few years ago while going through a depression; to me, this friend was cruel and heartless at the things she said. Everything was my fault and at a certain point, something switched and she became friendly again.

This has resulted in me being "scared" of her.. As in, I feel I have to be happy all the time around her for fear of her "running off" again. I feel I can't correct her, defend myself, or just be totally honest with her. She will ignore my texts and it really annoys me. I know this is something internal that I am trying to work on. She doesn't do it all the time, but it's like she chooses when to be available and when not to me.

I have been having doubts about our friendship for the last while as she has become distant and I feel I can't say "where have you gone" because the last time that happen, i got a bollicking for annoying her when she was busy..

Now I don't send dozens of messages and all that. If she doesn't reply, I wait until she does. I have found her to be quite unsupporting recently too. Trying to prove me wrong in certain things. For example, if I asked her advice about a certain way to do something, she wouldn't tell me, she'd just say its too hard, maybe do something different.

Maybe I am being over sensitive, maybe I am being childish, but it hurts. I don't know who to turn to now..

I am shy and don't make friends easily. Having my child means I don't get out as much either.

I feel like I want to "let her go" to some extent, but the fear of being without that CLOSE friendly support..

I have other friends too, but as i said, we were inseparable, we were two peas in a pod and understood each other... Now it seems to be disappearing..

I would just like some advice if people have any..

Thanks.

PinkLemonade

I think you depend too much on this friend, she doesn't sound like she if comfortable with the level of support you need from her.

Maybe she is being cruel, but at the end of the day she's to look out for herself first. It sounds like you need someone to talk to, could you see a councillor?

HalloweenJack

wonderinaboutitall wrote: »

I feel like I want to "let her go" to some extent, but the fear of being without that CLOSE friendly support..

I don't see why you'd fear losing that, it sounds like it's already gone.

Friends fall out or outgrow each other. It's tough, especially with lifelong friends, but it happens. She appears to now consider you a nuisance as opposed to being ready to take time out for you. I think it's fairly obvious the closeness you once had is now gone. While sad, you're not going to achieve anything mourning this friendship. She's clearly over it.

There's nothing to say you can't be friends anymore but I'd just look for support and comfort in other places 'cause she's clearly not interested in giving you any.