Daddy has a penis, m(u)(o)(a)mmy has a vagina

ALiasEX

if ever i have children i will be telling them the proper names of genitals and as soon as they ask i will be telling them babies come from the wombs of m(u)(o)(a)mmies. (I might not bother mentioning usually through the vagina unless they ask)

What will you be telling your children and is there something wrong with what I would tell mine?

On the other hand by the time i have a baby they might all come from the lab

Jim Bob Scratcher

It's much easier to say babies come from God.

Tabnabs

Op, are you vegetarian as well?

frag420

I will tell my kids that they are lucky that their dad did not pay attention to their mom and "smash my back door in hun" or else they wouldn't be here!!

conorhal

ALiasEX wrote: »

if ever i have children i will be telling them the proper names of genitals and as soon as they ask i will be telling them babies come from the wombs of m(u)(o)(a)mmies. (I might not bother mentioning usually through the vagina unless they ask)

What will you be telling your children and is there something wrong with what I would tell mine?

You're bleating through your self righteous woo woo.....

GLaDOS

Wtf is a muoammy

Swiftly

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

It's much easier to say babies come from God.

Incoming attacks from atheists in 3.2.1

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Daddy has a penis, female parent has three aysemetrical tits, but the looks of that thread title.

Melodeon

Here you go:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3wcxHiorJ4

Boom_Bap

My kids have seen a childbirth, so I don't have to teach them sh*t.

Son Of A Vidic

ALiasEX wrote: »

What will you be telling your children

Daddy is hung like a horse, but Mammy is wider than the Grand Canyon.

Jim Bob Scratcher

Swiftly wrote: »

Incoming attacks from atheists in 3.2.1

They'll be swiftly coming :pac:

c_man

Boys have goolies, and girls va-jay-jay.

Proper names is a load of sh!te. The only time I use them is the odd time at the doctor (relax ladies, I don't have the bug or the scratch :cool: ). Vast majority of the time we use other words for them. Let's teach the kids early that this is the case. It's important to know as many slang words and what particular genitalia they're referring to. Don't want the kids getting slagged.

SEPT 23 1989

with that attitude i presume there will be no such thing as Santa either

seamus

Honestly, I would have said so too. But when a two-year-old points at your crotch and asks, "What's that?", in your head you can visualise them having difficulty with the word "penis" and so repeating it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. "Willy" is easier, they don't seem to need to keep repeating it.

I'm not sure what her mother has told her. That's mummy's problem.

biko

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Wtf is a muoammy

PC gone mad

pickarooney

Too right, and don't be using childish words like head and arm and leg.

Crania, scapulae, patellae and phalanges, patellae and phalanges.

biko

Mammy has a badonkadonk and daddy has a BBC

Hammer89

'Daddy has a white slug and mammy has something which makes the Sahara look like Seaworld'.

Jim Bob Scratcher

seamus wrote: »

Honestly, I would have said so too. But when a two-year-old points at your crotch and asks, "What's that?", in your head you can visualise them having difficulty with the word "penis" and so repeating it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. "Willy" is easier, they don't seem to need to keep repeating it.

I'm not sure what her mother has told her. That's mummy's problem.

Or Johnny

Oryx

It doesn't matter what words you use as long as you are happy to talk to them about all that stuff without embarrassment. That way they wont be afraid to come to you with questions. For sure tell kids the proper names for everything, but its ok to use words like willy too, I mean, they're kids, keep it lighthearted ffs.

smash

WTF is this shit? Everyone knows the stork brings the babies!

Son Of A Vidic

biko wrote: »

Mammy has a badonkadonk and daddy has a BBC

Breaking News: biko reveals true identity, biko is Missy Elliott...:pac:

JanaMay

Mine know the real words and the 'kiddies' version and use them both. But my daughter's granny was outraged one day when my 3-year-old mentioned that she wipes her vulva after a wee. They're just words. I don't see the point in using only baby words for them.

smash

JanaMay wrote: »

But my daughter's granny was outraged one day when my 3-year-old mentioned that she wipes her vulva after a wee.

Wait until she hears the crude words and tells her granny.

In all seriousness though, I'd be a bit shocked if a toddler told me they wipe their anus after taking a dump!

lanos

perv thread

JanaMay

smash wrote: »

Wait until she hears the crude words and tells her granny.

In all seriousness though, I'd be a bit shocked if a toddler told me they wipe their anus after taking a dump!

Ah I know what you mean. She probably uses 'bum' more than 'anus' as a word, but she knows that there are different words for body parts. Her granny told me I was teaching her 'rude words' which was what annoyed me. Luckily, she doesn't know the crude words yet (she's 5 now) because she hasn't heard them. But when she asked me what the body parts were called, I told her.

Peregrine

I think I'd teach them the proper names and the truth about where babies come from too but I'm not planning on having children anytime soon so I probably don't have to worry about it for a while.


I will not, however, be teaching them about this m(u)(o)(a)mmy lark.

Lights On

I'll be telling my son to call it his Thor hammer.

RobbieTheRobber

Swiftly wrote: »

Incoming attacks from atheists in 3.2.1

Incoming message from the big giant head!

freedominacup

Peregrine wrote: »

I think I'd teach them the proper names and the truth about where babies come from too but I'm not planning on having children anytime soon so I probably don't have to worry about it for a while.


I will not, however, be teaching them about this m(u)(o)(a)mmy lark.

I didn't teach mine anything. I just answered the questions they asked as straightforwardly as possible. They usually went off and processed what they had been told. Follow up questions could arrive in six minutes or six months. All of them regarded the sex education manuals they got a lecture on in fifth class as old news.

JanaMay

freedominacup wrote: »

I didn't teach mine anything. I just answered the questions they asked as straightforwardly as possible. They usually went off and processed what they had been told. Follow up questions could arrive in six minutes or six months. All of them regarded the sex education manuals they got a lecture on in fifth class as old news.

I know what you mean. My eldest always knew that babies grew in a mammy's belly...then when questions came about how the baby got there I answered as best I could in an age-appropriate way. But I will admit that I did mention the 'special hugs' a daddy gives a mammy before going into the details. For now, she hasn't asked about how the 'willy' gets into the 'foo-foo'.

Actually, one thing I'd like to ask is...for those who have young daughters, what name do you give to vulva/vagina in English? (My children don't speak English as their native language so I never knew how to call it by any name other than the real term.)

JanaMay

pickarooney wrote: »

Too right, and don't be using childish words like head and arm and leg.

Crania, scapulae, patellae and phalanges, patellae and phalanges.

But head, arm and leg aren't childish words, they are commonly accepted words in general English. Crania, scapulae, patellae, phalanges are scientific-medical terms for body parts that already have a 'layman' term in non-specific English.

manonboard

Absolutely Ill be telling them exactly what everything is and where it should be.

A few weeks ago, someone i know had thier daughter abused by family relative.

The reason it came to light and was soooo much easier to deal with was because the little girl (4-5) stated EXPLICITLY without any confusion exactly what parts were touched, and what was done.
Being able to aptly describe the penis, vulva, vagina etc makes a huge difference. Awareness and education are a key factor in situations like this.

When confronted by the parents, the culprit was completely unable to deny the event and broke down and confessed within minutes. A huge factor in that was there was a little girl who was without any doubt stating exactly what happened with what parts..
It really opened my eyes to the benefits.
I dont care in any way how embarrassed a person gets when it comes to educating a child for safety. I think its best to just swallow your anexity and do it.

SuperGrover

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpHv3iuASsk

ALiasEX

Some daddies have penises some daddies have vaginas some daddies have vaginas and penises some daddies have 2 penies some m(u)(o)(a)mmies have penises some m(u)(o)(a)mmies have vaginas some m(u)(o)(a)mmies have penises and vaginas some m(u)(o)(a)mmies have 2 vaginas

wouldn't fit so I went with Daddy has a penis, m(u)(o)(a)mmy has a vagina

AnonoBoy

Boom_Bap wrote: »

My kids have seen a childbirth, so I don't have to teach them sh*t.

All children have seen a childbirth if you think about it.

AnonoBoy

ALiasEX wrote: »

Some daddies have penises some daddies have vaginas some daddies have vaginas and penises some daddies have 2 penies some m(u)(o)(a)mmies have penises some m(u)(o)(a)mmies have vaginas some m(u)(o)(a)mmies have penises and vaginas some m(u)(o)(a)mmies have 2 vaginas

wouldn't fit so I went with Daddy has a penis, m(u)(o)(a)mmy has a vagina

My head hurts trying to read your posts.

Please stop saying m(u)(o)(a)mmies.

ALiasEX

AnonoBoy wrote: »

All children have seen a childbirth if you think about it.

You should think about it again.

Boom_Bap

AnonoBoy wrote: »

All children have seen a childbirth if you think about it.

And it's the first time you touch a vagina as well (if a natural birth).

In the case of my kids it was another woman, not their mother in the stairwell of an apartment building.

King George VI

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Wtf is a muoammy

It's how people from Boston say "Mommy"

Bio Mech

Because you didn't type Da(d)(dy) I can only assume you are a big sexist. Tut tut.

BenedrylPete

(u)terous (o)veries (a)rsehole

ALiasEX

Bio Mech wrote: »

Because you didn't type Da(d)(dy) I can only assume you are a big sexist. Tut tut.

Sorry. i'll edit daddy and m(u)(o)(a)mmy

m(u)(o)(a)(m)(my)

AnonoBoy

ALiasEX wrote: »

You should think about it again.

Why?

pickarooney

JanaMay wrote: »

But head, arm and leg aren't childish words, they are commonly accepted words in general English. Crania, scapulae, patellae, phalanges are scientific-medical terms for body parts that already have a 'layman' term in non-specific English.

Just like penis and vagina then.

murpho999

4 year old sharing bath with his mother, points at pubic area and says "What's that Mammy?"
"That's where Daddy split me with an axe", she replies sheepishly.
"Jaysus, he got you right in the cúnt didn't he!".

BenedrylPete

daddy works at the plant.

mammy stays at home and cooks pies.

ALiasEX

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Why?

Blind babies. I was also thinking of another reason but I googled it and it may be wrong.

circadian

Boom_Bap wrote: »

And it's the first time you touch a vagina as well (if a natural birth).

In the case of my kids it was another woman, not their mother in the stairwell of an apartment building.

Harsh, but at least they definitely know.

I was raised with the proper names of body parts. An elbow was an elbow, a leg was a leg, a penis was a penis. There was nothing mysterious about anything when all body parts were treated in the same matter of fact way. Unlike my primary school classmates who would say 'willy' or whatever in a giggly tone of voice, like it was something they shouldn't even say at all. Some kids didn't even know what penis meant. Now, that's ridiculous.