Help get this monster out of my bed!!

ja1986

Hello,
I have a 2 year old daughter who ,through no fault of her own, permanently sleeps between me and my partner. I'm looking for advise as on how to move her into her own bed? I want to start now as I will have a newborn in May so would like her in a routine now. She has her own box room with a toddler bed and all her toys in there and I leave the landing light on for her. Both my room and hers,our doors are ajar at night.

I actually put her into her own bed at night but she wakes up around midnight and walks into my room to come to bed. last night when she did this I woke and said let's go back to your bed and she held my hand and walked in and fell asleep while I was rubbing her head. I hopped back into bed and she was back into me 10 mins later. I just picked her up and put her in the middle of us. So a fail !

Should I keep walking her back into her room and stick it out for a few nights or is there a better/ easier way to do this ?

Thanks so much and everything will be considered x

Penny Dreadful

ja1986 wrote: »

Hello,
I have a 2 year old daughter who ,through no fault of her own, permanently sleeps between me and my partner. I'm looking for advise as on how to move her into her own bed? I want to start now as I will have a newborn in May so would like her in a routine now. She has her own box room with a toddler bed and all her toys in there and I leave the landing light on for her. Both my room and hers,our doors are ajar at night.

I actually put her into her own bed at night but she wakes up around midnight and walks into my room to come to bed. last night when she did this I woke and said let's go back to your bed and she held my hand and walked in and fell asleep while I was rubbing her head. I hopped back into bed and she was back into me 10 mins later. I just picked her up and put her in the middle of us. So a fail !

Should I keep walking her back into her room and stick it out for a few nights or is there a better/ easier way to do this ?

Thanks so much and everything will be considered x

If I was you this is exactly what I would do. It will be a tough few nights but in the grand scheme of things, especially with a new baby due in May, its a small price to pay now.
One tip I was given and have always followed is to start something that may cause sleep distruption on a Friday night (assuming you have a M-F 9/5 type job) as the worst of the sleep deprivation occurrs on the first two nights and at least you're not having to get up to go to work the next day.

Balmed Out

You've probably done this but just in case try pillow and bedsheets with Peppa pig or whatever she's into. As soon as we did our one took a possessive ownership of the bed.

LegacyUser

Yep.It's up to you to keep bringing her back, she'll keep doing it as long as she knows she'll end up in your bed eventually.
I'd second the tip of starting on Friday night btw, it may take a few nights to get her sorted and you're best off at the weekend to be sleep deprived!

ja1986

Balmed Out wrote: »

You've probably done this but just in case try pillow and bedsheets with Peppa pig or whatever she's into. As soon as we did our one took a possessive ownership of the bed.

Aw she has all the sheets and stuff I mean if I was her I'd like to sleep in there! I was wondering could it be the change in matress and pillow coming from my room to hers is she not getting a good sleep

Diamond Doll

I haven't used one myself yet, but I've often heard Gro-Clocks being recommended. Basically you teach the child that they stay in bed until the sun appears on the clock. Might be worth a try!

Das Kitty

Keep taking her back. Over and over and over. She will eventually get the message.

ja1986

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

If I was you this is exactly what I would do. It will be a tough few nights but in the grand scheme of things, especially with a new baby due in May, its a small price to pay now.
One tip I was given and have always followed is to start something that may cause sleep distruption on a Friday night (assuming you have a M-F 9/5 type job) as the worst of the sleep deprivation occurrs on the first two nights and at least you're not having to get up to go to work the next day.

Ya I was half hoping there would be an easier way !! I definitely need to set a routine. I was even thinking of just giving up my bed to her and her dad and il take her room for me and the new arrival.

Penny Dreadful

ja1986 wrote: »

Ya I was half hoping there would be an easier way !! I definitely need to set a routine. I was even thinking of just giving up my bed to her and her dad and il take her room for me and the new arrival.[/QUOTE]


Imagine the problems you'll have getting her out of the bed then! After a new baby and the changes that will bring to the household she will really object to being turfed out of her bed and having to leave her Daddy when you try that.
Or you could share with her and her Dad.
When the new baby realises that its the only one sleeping alone in it pops too.............

I appreciate your need for an easier solution, I'm due my next baby early June next year too and fully understand how exhausted you must be (I have an almost 15 month old girl). Having our bed and our room to ourselves is a saving grace though. Our little one is a great sleeper and loves her own room and always has but the thoughts of having her in our bed :eek::o

When I started down the routine track with her I had one hard bad week of tears (both hers and mine:D) but then it just clicked and she has been a joy to have around ever since.

ja1986

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

ja1986 wrote: »

Ya I was half hoping there would be an easier way !! I definitely need to set a routine. I was even thinking of just giving up my bed to her and her dad and il take her room for me and the new arrival.[/QUOTE]


Imagine the problems you'll have getting her out of the bed then! After a new baby and the changes that will bring to the household she will really object to being turfed out of her bed and having to leave her Daddy when you try that.
Or you could share with her and her Dad.
When the new baby realises that its the only one sleeping alone in it pops too.............

I appreciate your need for an easier solution, I'm due my next baby early June next year too and fully understand how exhausted you must be (I have an almost 15 month old girl). Having our bed and our room to ourselves is a saving grace though. Our little one is a great sleeper and loves her own room and always has but the thoughts of having her in our bed :eek::o

When I started down the routine track with her I had one hard bad week of tears (both hers and mine:D) but then it just clicked and she has been a joy to have around ever since.

My things is that I can't stand the crying ,not that I feel sorry for her when she crys,that it just goes through me! I always give in! Ya I'm going to start tonight . Wish me luck I'm very very scared ha

Penny Dreadful

ja1986 wrote: »

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

My things is that I can't stand the crying ,not that I feel sorry for her when she crys,that it just goes through me! I always give in! Ya I'm going to start tonight . Wish me luck I'm very very scared ha

Good luck. It is hard to hear them cry and then they look at you with the big eyes and big tears..........
However it IS worth it. I really think its partially a confidence building exercise for children too, they learn a little self sufficiency which IMHO is important. If there are bad dreams in the future or sickness they know you're only across the hall/landing but otherwise they have their own little kingdom to rule over.

Just keep thinking "one hard week, one hard week, one hard week". Might not even be a week.

ja1986

Ok so I put her to bed in her own room and she started howling for her daddy ,had a tuck in her heart so I called him up. I left the room so she was crying for me I went in and sat at the end of the bed and she went to sleep still sobbing in her sleep. She woke at 9 and I sat on her bed rubbing her head and she went back to sleep.

I'm feeling so bad for her because she doesn't know what's going on ,and she's so small poor child 😔 iv a long night ahead I think !

mirrorwall14

ja1986 wrote: »

Ok so I put her to bed in her own room and she started howling for her daddy ,had a tuck in her heart so I called him up. I left the room so she was crying for me I went in and sat at the end of the bed and she went to sleep still sobbing in her sleep. She woke at 9 and I sat on her bed rubbing her head and she went back to sleep.

I'm feeling so bad for her because she doesn't know what's going on ,and she's so small poor child 😔 iv a long night ahead I think !

It'll be tough for her but it is a learning curve. Stay strong mammy, it will get easier

How Strange

I think you need a strategy for how you're going to establish the routine and your daughter should be part of it. How about doing a story board explaining to her in pictures how night time will work from now on. Read the story together regularly just to remind her.

As for visits to your bed etc in the middle of the night, gently bring her back to bed. Maybe have a code word that you use like 'lets go back to x's bed' so you don't get into a conversation about it or start over explaining at 3am. You may have to do this 5-6 times a night to begin with but a habit is broken and formed within 2 weeks so if you're consistent (the hardest part!) you'll see improvements in a couple of weeks.
I read Elizabeth Pantleys the no cry sleep solution for sleep training my daughter at 12 months and I found it very useful.

If you're finding settling her into her bed difficult you read the bedtime story before she goes to bed and gently reassure her. The first week you may be sitting in the bed. The second at the door and the third she may need you to come check on her regularly or even sit outside the door for a while. As long as she's reassured that you're there for her she will settle in to a new routine. If the routine is done gently and without crying it out she shouldn't revolt too much against it when the new baby comes. A good, solid routine can be gotten back on track even if it's upset for a few days or whatever.

It's worked for us as in our now 2.5 year old sleeps through and if she wakes up she's either happy enough to settle herself back or a quick word from us will work. We had lots of times in between because of teething, sickness, holidays etc where the routine went out the window but a night or two of perseverance got it back on track.

How Strange

We also use the gro clock and they know (5 and 2.5) that no one gets out of bed until the sun comes up. Again if you're consistent it works.

have2flushtwice

Almost a week.... how did it go?