Got yelled at for nothing and a little shook up by it

misscpmfan

Last night my boyfriends dad yelled at me for not getting out of bed fast enough.
I was lying down, trying to sleep and my boyfriends dad knocked on the door and asked would i take a glass of water from him and bring it up to the attic where me and my boyfriend sleep. My boyfriend is not well with a bad back so he cant really carry a lot. I was trying to get dressed and all of a sudden he yells really loudly "come on the ****!! Get up off your arse will ya and hurry up". I said "em I'm not even dressed"so he came up himself and placed the glass at the top of the stairs.
i never talk to his dad because well he never talks to me. I asked my boyfriend why he yelled and he said its his way of being nice and its just banter. I dont care for it though, just seemed like he was being inappropriate and a jerk. Im shook up over it because it kind of gave me a mini panick attack. It was unexpected, is this normal and do normal men go on like this?

Penny Tration

No, it's not normal. It's pretty aggressive. But why do you choose to stay in his home when he's an arsehole?

misscpmfan

Penny Tration wrote: »

No, it's not normal. It's pretty aggressive. But why do you choose to stay in his home when he's an arsehole?

I dunno, he never spoke to me like that before so. I tried talking to my bf about it buthe just dismissed it

misscpmfan

Penny Tration wrote: »

No, it's not normal. It's pretty aggressive. But why do you choose to stay in his home when he's an arsehole?

And ive been caring for my bf and went with him to the hospital and everything so its not like i deserved to be yelled at like that. peice of ****. Wont be going near him thats for sure.

misscpmfan

Penny Tration wrote: »

No, it's not normal. It's pretty aggressive. But why do you choose to stay in his home when he's an arsehole?

And ive been caring for my bf and went with him to the hospital and everything so its not like i deserved to be yelled at like that. peice of ****. Wont be going near him thats for sure.

Penny Tration

Well maybe his dad simply doesn't want you in his home, when he is there and probably perfectly capable of caring for the boyfriend himself?

Given your many threads about issues with your boyfriend and your family and now his family, it might be time to look at your own actions because there's been one common denominator in all of the situations you've sought advice on.

misscpmfan

Penny Tration wrote: »

Well maybe his dad simply doesn't want you in his home, when he is there and probably perfectly capable of caring for the boyfriend himself? .

But he doesnt care for him. I did all the work for my boyfriend since he got sick and theres zero reason to be yelled at. Plus im always quiet and keep to myself when they are both watching football or need time together

misscpmfan

Penny Tration wrote: »

Well maybe his dad simply doesn't want you in his home, when he is there and probably perfectly capable of caring for the boyfriend himself? .

But he doesnt care for him. I did all the work for my boyfriend since he got sick and theres zero reason to be yelled at. Plus im always quiet and keep to myself when they are both watching football or need time together

JuliusCaesar

Please all, this is the Psychology forum. You're ALL in the wrong forum. Moving this to Personal Issues. JC

Weatherproof79

Why bring his sex in to this? I joke but no I would feel awkward in this situation and his dad probably behaves like this with everyone so I wouldn't take it personally

The_fever

I think you should listen to your boyfriend. Some men find it hard to communicate "appropriately" my father is one to. You will get used to it, and be able to brush it off,

bilbot79

I reckon yur boyfriends description is probably right. The dad should have been a bit more sensitive though

pgj2015

bilbot79 wrote: »

I reckon yur boyfriends description is probably right. The dad should have been a bit more sensitive though

bull$hit, it sounds like his dad is an ignorant pig with no manners and his son should not be making excuses for him, if my dad yelled at my girlfriend like that i would be mortified and have words with him about it, my dad would never dream of behaving like that though as he is a normal polite person who wasn't dragged up.

even if your boyfriend thinks that is just the way his dad is op, if he has seen that it has upset you he should do something about it, hopefully he doesn't turn out like his ignorant dad.

meeeeh

It's a fairly rough sentence but hardly much damage done. Context is important because some people would communicate like this with people they are comfortable with. Anyway in whatever way it was meant, I think you should toughen up if that kind of stuff gives you panic attacks.

eviltwin

I wouldn't stand for anyone swearing at me like that. If he's a bit gruff it's one thing but the language is uncalled for. I doubt he's ever going to change but I'd have a polite word with him. Remind him you're both trying to take care of your boyfriend and for his sake if nothing else you'd appreciate it if he can be a bit more civil.

bilbot79

pgj2015 wrote: »

bull$hit, it sounds like his dad is an ignorant pig with no manners and his son should not be making excuses for him, if my dad yelled at my girlfriend like that i would be mortified and have words with him about it, my dad would never dream of behaving like that though as he is a normal polite person who wasn't dragged up.

even if your boyfriend thinks that is just the way his dad is op, if he has seen that it has upset you he should do something about it, hopefully he doesn't turn out like his ignorant dad.

Thing is we only have the OPs perception of how it was said and what was intended. The real intention might have been less than it sounded.

Rubberchikken

if he did speak to you like that, it's not normal behaviour from civilised people. it's not even nice.
tbh i'd be more worried that your bf think it's normal, fun behaviour. it's not banter, no matter what way anyone looks at it.
you also shouldn't have to be 'quiet' while they watch their match. if you're welcome there, you're welome. but if you feel uncomfortable there, maybe suggest being at your place more often.
good luck

freshpopcorn

Some people yell at one another and that's how the deal with things. It might not be pc.
After having a look at your several threads regarding your family, you boyfriend and now his family. I'd consider talking to a professional regarding your relationships with other people. It night benefit you.