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Underlying unhappiness

  • 15-11-2015 5:20pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    How normal is it to be unhappy as an adult? I'm 25 and I'm really struggling with this. Overall I like myself as a person and realise that I am very lucky to have alll that I do in life but deep down I feel very unsatifised. I am the sort of person who beleives in findng pleasure in the little things but I have to work very hard at it.

    I'm single and lonely, I was seeing a nice guy lately but I didn't really fancy him so I broke it off as he was getting serious and now I feel stupid. I thought I was avoiding settling but now I worry I'm overly picky. I work at the job I've always wanted and but am just finding it tough and frustrating, and I'm realising I might not be very good at it. I've moved every year since I was 20 and while I really want to settle and put down roots, I don't know if I've found the right place yet. I have friends here but I have no close friends anywhere, in fact I think I've forgotten how to be a good friend. I'm not close to my family and don't know how to get close. I live in a houseshare but really just want to live alone. My housemate is a nice guy but everytime I hear him come home I cringe.

    These all seem like minor problems compared to other peoples. Especially the struggles I'm having at work but how normal is it to be sad. Anytime I speak to someone about being down about something I'm told that's just how things are as an adult. I mean, I know everyone gets the "sunday evening blues" but should we not be contented at least 70% of the time. Does everything have to be a struggle?

    People always say the secret is to love yourself but I do it's my circumstances that upset me and I don't know how to change them. For years I've been saying "just one more year...(and I'm finished school/college/this project/my masters/my probationary period etc.) but it doesn't seem to end and I'm tired.


Comments

  • #2
    Meadhbus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34 ✭Meadhbus


    Maybe there's something more going on here than just life getting you down? Have you someone to talk to? Family, even a counsellor?

    I think you need to do something about it now. As you say, no one should be feeling down 70% of the time. The longer you leave it, the longer you feel like this.

    Have you the money to take a week or so off work and get away from everything? A break might help.


  • #3
    Dughorm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 895 ✭✭✭Dughorm


    opelizza wrote: »
    How normal is it to be unhappy as an adult?

    I'm single and lonely, ....I have friends here but I have no close friends anywhere, in fact I think I've forgotten how to be a good friend. I'm not close to my family and don't know how to get close.

    For years I've been saying "just one more year...(and I'm finished school/college/this project/my masters/my probationary period etc.) but it doesn't seem to end and I'm tired.

    I just highlighted these points above - at 25 I remember being through several years of "just one more year" with college/exams/work and so on. It doesn't leave much time to build new friendships or relationships so it's important to recognise that.

    I genuinely think things will look up for you if you meet the right person/people be it new friends or relationships (and new friends via relationships...) - it's great to have close friends to make plans with for events, nights out or holidays and it definitely helps to balance out a draining job or studies.

    Depending on whether you make friends easily, consider new interests or fitness classes. What do you do by yourself that you could do instead with a friend?

    Think back to some college or school friends you mightn't have contacted in a while, or maybe (single?) work colleagues, try arrange a group to meet for coffee on a Saturday afternoon perhaps? Start from there.

    P.s. your living arrangements don't sound great either- have you considered finding a place where you might like to spend time with your housemates?


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