A recruiter today basically told me i'm not right for my chosen career.

LegacyUser

I feel like today was a profound experience in my life, but I don't know if I should be seeing it as a positive or negative? I have been unemployed for two months, having worked in one job since i graduated. I didn't particularly like the work, and I was going in and coming home from there unhappy every day.

Stretching even further back, I didnt like my university course either, but I persisted through it anyway because of the good job prospects in that area and ended up getting a 2:1. I don't want to go giving my life story here as i'll bore you all to death with it, but I am intelligent guy and always have been. I was bullied a bit for it when I was younger, nothing major but a bit of teasing. I feel as the intelligent one in the family there is a lot of pressure on me to do work related to my degree and have a good job.

Despite my intelligence, I am quite stupid in some ways. I took a college course and realized I wasn't really interested in it but stayed in it anyway. I picked a career based on the job prospects and potential for big money without really thinking about whether I'd enjoy it.

I've kinda known deep down for the last 4 or so years that I picked the wrong career, that I don't really want this job. But I've said feck it i'll just try and get a job in it anyway because its better than being on the dole. So today I met a recruiter about a potential job. Within 5 minutes she had told me she wouldn't be applying for jobs on my behalf because I clearly don't have the passion for it. It was a refreshing bit of honesty, and I kinda felt when she was speaking to me that she was saying all the things I was thinking in my own mind, but refusing to believe.

She told me that it's my life and I shouldn't just try and get a good job to make family members happy. I said to her that I don't really know what job I actually want and I feel like the only 25 year old on earth who is in this position, but she said there are loads like me.

I walked out of the meeting with her experiencing a very strange feeling like I'd just got a slap in the face, or a cold hard dose of reality for want of a better expression. In some ways I feel like I have been rejected, and in other ways I feel liberated because despite thinking for a long time that this career is not my cup of tea, having someone be blunt and say it straight to me kind of confirmed it to me.

I don't even know what advice i'm looking for. Should I see this as positive or negative? Do I need to go back and present myself better and give the impression that I really want this work? Or is this a clear sign that it's time I focused on a path that will give me more satisfaction in life? Any thoughts would be appreciated. As per usual, I feel a bit lost in this scenario.

gline

You should definitely see it as a positive experience. If you already kind of knew that you wouldnt like the work in the area you studied in, then it was inevitable that you would have to face this fact at some stage. Best to deal with this now when you are young. You could maybe do a masters in another area. Just make sure you are sure you do not want to work in the area, make sure you give it a good try. One other thing, you are definitely not the only person at your age that doesnt know what they want to do, plenty of peaple even older than you feel the same way. Lots of people change careers and get reskill etc these days.

I would look for some job though while you are thinking of what you want to do, but it doesnt have to be in the area you studied. Dont mind what your family might say, it is your life after all, you are the one that will have to live with your choices, not them.

BeQuiet

You're 25 ?!!
Your whole life is ahead of you.
And ppl now have multiple careers so leverage your skills and qualification and move on

Also, the recruiter might be right, or not, but most of them are dopes so I would not pay much heed

While taking her words and your feelings into account, some recruiters talk pure sh1te. I had one scold me and tell me she wouldn't put ke forward for stuff in my chosen area because i did a masters. Years later I'm quite happy in same chosen area.
You can do a job while also doing night or weekend courses in something else. Or work for a while in what you qualified in, save up, and do a full time course in something else later.

Clampdown

I have the opposite experience. I have always been creative and totally bored by anything that isn't. So I studied fine art. I knew it wasn't a field with good job prospects but I didn't think I would stick at anything else. I did realy well in the course. Now that college is over though, I can not get anything in my field, anything in the arts now that isn't a directorship is an internship. I sell the occasional painting, but many times artists exhibit unpaid or even have to pay to submit and transport their work on top of the cost of the materials they used to make the work.

At this point I am forced to take jobs I have no passion for. I've worked in factories, customer service, wait tables etc. Jobs that are low paid, that I could have got without bothering with college at all. And as of now, I can't even get those jobs and and am unemployed since March. I would be happy to have any work at all, passion or not. Paychecks are important too. The whole starving artist thing is a myth, most people don't do their best work when worried about the rent or where the next meal is.

So I don't think you did the wrong thing by going for something stable. Especially in the current climate here. You didnt say what field you studied. I also notice you didn't say in your post what your passion is - do you know? If not, then you were far better off studying a field with good job prospects because at least you won't be broke while you figure out what that is.

The comments from the recruiter were surprising. Usually they are happy to get you into anything. Hard to know if they are actually really good or really bad at their job in this case.

Anyway, keep applying elsewhere and do what you set out to do - get working. Then work towards following your passion through whatever channels you can, if it's not at work you can take evening or online classes, save money to travel, etc. You don't need passion to do a job, though it will make things easier and you will probably be better at it. But you can definitely do a job while you consider other avenues with the comfort of a regular paycheck. It's a good position to be in.

I think the fact that you preserved despite a lack of passion shows great willpower. Most people have to soldier on doing things they don't like for at least some part of their day, even in work that they generally enjoy. I might become a famous painter some day but I still won't like washing brushes, stretching canvas, talking to pretentious art dealers, etc. The fact you were willing to do something you didn't like so well to achieve a desired result (employment), says a lot about your strength of character. It's not a weakness. It's a strength that will stand to you your entire working life. I wish I had that. I have to work really hard to hide how much I hate the mundane crap I end up having to do to pay bills, and I know I'm not the only one. I've quit a few decent jobs because I just couldn't hack it and now that work is so scarce here in the small town Nortwest, I regret my lack of 'stick-to-it-iveness'.

Is there a happy medium you could find within your field, some aspect of it that you could become an expert on without being bored to death by?

Don't feel bad, finding your passion is a big challenge for all of us. If you were able to do so well in something you lacked passion for, imagine how great you will be at the thing you ARE passionate for, once you figure it out. You'll be unstoppable!

By the way, how passionate is that recruiter if they wouldn't take the time to speak to you about other options and find out what you might be good at or passionate for? Showing you the door is not what their job is meant to be about!

Mr. Incognito

You are taking career advice from a recruiter?

I wouldnt believe an ounce of the nonsense they spout. They are professional bull**** artists.

A job is something you do to fund the things you want to do. Treat it as a job not a calling and you will get on much better.

BreadnBuddha

In short, she told you what you wanted to hear to get you to move along, because she would have picked up very quickly from you that you weren't really all that determined to compete and fill the vacancy.

Recruitment agents are paid their bonus or commission when you're in the job for a period of time, not just when they get you to sign the contract. It wasn't in her interest to put you forwards for a position when you weren't convincing her of your own desire to pursue this career. You weren't the paycheck she'd hoped for.

If you're going to take that as a slap in the face, a wake up call or validation of what you've already decided yourself, that's up to you.

Best of luck and I hope you end up doing something you find rewarding on every level. What would you like to do if you could just wipe the slate clean and start again?

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Wompa1

I've been feeling disillusioned with my 'career' (hate that word) for several years but I've been working extremely hard at it. I usually get up go to work, get off of work and do more work until it's time for bed. I've made a name for myself. I present at conferences, I've been published, I got an executive title

And then I just decided to take a gamble. I took a job with a startup. They offered me a significantly lower salary...as in tens of thousands less and told me the job they wanted me for was not technical...I thought, this will be very different, maybe it will kick start some passion and enthusiasm in me again.

3 weeks in and I hate it. I'm going to give it a few more weeks but I'm discovering that I think I'm just mentally wasted. I'm too burned out to handle something completely new. Maybe I didn't need a complete change and all I need was a month or two out of work....Oh, Well! I'll continue on...probably doesn't help that I'm a bit older than yourself, OP and I've got my first child on the way. It was a bit of a dumb choice to make at such a high pressure time of life

Dughorm

whereamigoing wrote: »

I don't even know what advice i'm looking for. Should I see this as positive or negative? Do I need to go back and present myself better and give the impression that I really want this work? Or is this a clear sign that it's time I focused on a path that will give me more satisfaction in life? Any thoughts would be appreciated. As per usual, I feel a bit lost in this scenario.

This is a positive - because it confirms that you are so unhappy with this area that you can't even hide it anymore!

But this area, whatever it is, clearly is graduate-level, highly skilled and possibly professional as well. All perfectly transferable skills. Lots of qualified young professionals in finance, legal, administration have no interest in what they do but are happy to do it for the money. You don't seem to be one of those people, good for you!

Without knowing what your area is, I can't suggest what areas might be linked to it which would make a good match, but perhaps set up a meeting with a professional career advisor. Once you have found an area you would like to work in, then decide how you can break into that area. You might have to study by night while doing the boring day job but you are then on the path to your favoured career. You could study full time but personally I would keep working in some capacity if you could manage it.

Good luck!

cloudatlas

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

You are taking career advice from a recruiter?

I wouldnt believe an ounce of the nonsense they spout. They are professional bull**** artists.

A job is something you do to fund the things you want to do. Treat it as a job not a calling and you will get on much better.

But they also wouldn't turn someone away if they thought they could push them forward in order to get a big pay cheque so the fact that she turned him away when all the recruiters I know try to desperately shoe horn people into jobs then I think it's a big thing. The O.P needs to take time and have a think about what it is he really wants to do with his time. See this as an epiphanic moment.

suicide_circus

A guidance counselor once told me I should be a priest.....a job for which I am ill suited to say the least. Point is, these people have no idea who you are or what you're good at - complete charlatans for the most part - same as anyone in HR etc.

jester77

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

A job is something you do to fund the things you want to do. Treat it as a job not a calling and you will get on much better.

I wouldn't agree with this. You will spend the best part of your life working, you will spend more time around your job than you will with your friends and family. Why would anyone just put up with something just to pay the bills when they are not obviously not happy?

Getting up, going to work and coming home miserable will have a knock on effect on everything else. OP, if you are unhappy with your current situation then work on changing it. You are only 25, I know lots of people who changed their careers in their 30's and 40's. It is never too late.

The hardest part can be finding out something that you are passionate about, something that get's you excited to get up every morning. You could look at finding a life coach or career guidance counsellor to help you out here. But whatever you do, remember this is your life, don't do something just because you think it is what is expected of you. That is just a recipe for misery.