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The grassy knoll

  • 10-11-2015 9:22pm
    Registered Users Posts: 98 ✭✭

    As Terrence awkwardly fell face down on the grass he knew his life had reached its lowest ebb. He heard Bradley sobbing from behind him as he raised his backside into the air. Bradley moved his face into position over Terrence's bottom and gently blew onto his anus. The warm breath bearing down on Terrence's anus signalled, as if on cue, Terrence to completely and violently evacuate his bowls of gas in a long and sustained vacuous bout of foul flatulence. Bradley inhaled deeply and took every morsel of the repugnant anal vapour deep into his lungs. He then lay on the ground as Terrence turned his face to his and exhaled the contents of his sullied lungs into Terrence's face.

    They lay there for what seem like an eternity in complete silence but both broken men were thinking the same same thought.

    "What have I become ?".


  • Registered Users Posts: 55,441 ✭✭✭✭Mr E

    Dear God....

  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,850 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord




  • Registered Users Posts: 12,363 ✭✭✭✭Del.Monte

    OP's username should be Windybottom.

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭Cortina_MK_IV

    Can't wait for part 2.

  • Registered Users Posts: 98 ✭✭Spencer Winterbotham

    Bradley was angry at Cassandra. She had promised to give him more free time to spend developing his dream to one day becoming an actor but their circumstances were dire. Cassandra's depression and constant eating had ballooned her wight to 25 stone. She was unable to wash herself now and relied on Bradley as a full time carer.

    Bradley dutifully wiped his wife's underarms down with baby wipes as she opened another can of boiled chicken-in-a-can and picked at the carcass. He asked himself was all this really worth it? Her inheritance was the only thing that kept him in their dank home but her incontinence was driving them apart. If only he could've landed that small part in the play he had auditioned for. He was sure it would have taken him out of this current hell and into a life of stardom but as always, his crippling anxiety had scuppered his dreams.

    He reeled with dread as he recalled waiting in the line of other hopefuls prior to the audition. He poured over his lines for the last time sure of every syllable. The beta-blocker he had taken 30mins before seemed to be kicking in and he felt his heart beat normally. Could this be it? His time to shine?

    "Bradley Belmont" the pretty assistant called as she peered around the audition room door. Bradley rose confidently to his feet and strode to the open door and shook the assistants hand. She introduced herself as Margo. She showed him into the brightly lit room and asked him to stand in the centre. As he steadied himself on his feet in the centre of the room he looked at the welcoming faces of the five person panel before him.

    "Please Mr Belmont, in your own time." Bradley opened his mouth and.... nothing. Nothing came out. His heart raced to a thousand beats and his face became a putrid red. He looked around franticly as the panellists became uncomfortable in their chairs. No. No. Not again. As the blind panic took hold he felt his bowls erupt. He thought about making a dash to the toilet but he knew from bitter experience that it was too late. He just stood there. Stood and soiled himself.

    The tears rolled down his face in unison with the excreta gushing down his legs. His loose fitting shorts only exacerbated his situation by providing no barrier whatsoever to the human waste that pooled around him.

    Margo looked at him with a shock in her eyes he had never seen before. She didn't say a single word, just covered her mouth, opened the door and nodded to the toilet. Bradley shuffled out to the sound of Margo's dry retching in the background becoming fainter and fainter as he left the building.

    He walked to the grassy knoll where he knew Terrence would be waiting for him. Always waiting.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭Cortina_MK_IV

    I think you spelled "shook" wrong.

  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,850 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord



  • Registered Users Posts: 98 ✭✭Spencer Winterbotham

    "Why Terrence"?

    Jacinta screamed into Terrence's face as he lay in his bed well past noon.

    "You sick Terrence"

    "I'm not, now get out of my room before I kick you in the goul you old bag"

    But Terrence knew he was sick. Sick in body and sick in mind. Particularly in mind. He rose from his bed and peered out the window down onto the grassy knoll. Bradley would be there soon he mused. Poor little Bradley.

    Being born into such spectacular wealth had ruined Terrence and he knew it. Jacinta, his Filipino house maid and one time reluctant lover knew it too. The two rarely spoke these days. She had agreed not to press charges and he had agreed to support her family in Cebu city. An uneasy truce of sorts. At 68 years of age she knew she was her grandchildren's only chance to get out of the grinding poverty back home.

    Terrence sat naked at his mahogany bureau and counted out four crisp €50 notes. A paltry sum to him but a lifeline to poor little Bradley.

  • Registered Users Posts: 98 ✭✭Spencer Winterbotham

    Terrence was waiting for Bradley in their usual spot high up on the knoll in view of Terrence's stately home and safe within the environs of his estate where he knew they would not be disturbed. Terrence had spent his childhood in these grounds and knew every inch.

    "Hello Bradley"

    "Hi Terrence"

    "You look dejected" said Terrence feigning concern.

    "Well I was at an audition and...."

    "Shut the fcuk up Bradley, I don't want to know. And by the way.. you smell of siht" roared Terence.

    "I don't want to talk about it" whimpered Bradley. "Can we just get this over with?"

    "I suppose you will want the money upfront? you greedy little peasant." hissed Terrence.

    Bradley held out his hand while Terrence slowly and mockingly counted out the four €50 notes.

    "Just so you know... Jacinta cooked me a hot curry last night and I washed it down with seven pints of stout".

    "Good for you" Bradley said to trying lighten the mood.

    Terrence sneered as he began to unbuckle his belt.

    "You know what to do Bradley"

    "Yes Terrence, I know.... but can I ask you one question before I get down on my knees?"


    "What the hell is wrong with you that you pay someone to come all the way up here to inhale your farts and then blow them back in your face?"

    Terrence stopped unbuckling his jeans, spun round on his heel and brought his face right up to Bradley's so the two were staring each other straight in eye...

    "Because I can Bradley. Because I can"


  • Registered Users Posts: 98 ✭✭Spencer Winterbotham

    So folks... What do you think? Do you think I could get published?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 836 ✭✭✭fruvai

    So folks... What do you think? Do you think I could get published?

    You'll be lucky if you're not committed :pac:

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,711 ✭✭✭Hrududu

    I miss Trent

  • Registered Users Posts: 98 ✭✭Spencer Winterbotham


  • Registered Users Posts: 98 ✭✭Spencer Winterbotham

    I think this was misunderstood 5 years ago..