When do you call the police?

TheNobleKipper

Hi all,

Wasn't sure where to post this, but this seemed like a good place.
Basically, my neighbours have had a massive fight for almost an hour. I am not glued to the walls but it is very difficult to ignore it. They fight frequently and I went up before to ask if everything was OK when I heard the screaming. It resulted in one of them (drunk as a skunk) to hang around in our place singing/ telling us her life story etc for hours before we could get rid of her...so I'm kind of done with intervening.

What bugs me is that I can hear their child screaming and crying while they are destroying the place.

I'm not Irish and not sure at what stage you'd call the police, or would you rather stay out of it? Thanks for your advice!

strandroad

Because of the child, ring the gardai now. And do mention the child.

If it was only the two of them at it I'd let them do whatever.

Colser

If you are worried about the child then I would ring the guards straight away.

jokettle

Ring the gardai, and if you're worried about the child in future, ring Tusla as well. They'll get a social worker involved if necessary. There's a general number on the website (Tusla.ie) where you can tell them what's happening and they'll help you figure out what to do.

Usually the gardai will get social work involved if they need to, but sometimes things slip through the cracks. Getting Tusla involved should help prevent that happening to your neighbours child.

jimmycrackcorm

OP, that child is defenceless in that situation. I wouldn't hesitate calling the guards knowing that the kid is helpless.

TheNobleKipper

Thank you all for your responses! I didn't ring the police now because she left with the child in tow a few minutes after I had posted my OP, which left me feeling a bit stupid. That said I'm pretty sure it won't be the last we heard because they fight a lot and people like that seem to always get back together...unfortunately.

I'm "happy" to know though that you'd call the police for this type of domestic fight though, I will definitely call them earlier next time because I don't like the idea of that poor child having to witness that sort of stuff

Edit: I had never heard of Tusla, but it sounds like a very good idea. I was wondering if the school would pick up on the child being strange at times if the parents were fighting half the night, but I guess they can't be certain something is off in the family.

davmol

Not only should you ring the guards for the sake of the child but also your own sanity.

No one should have to listen to that stupidity night after night especially when theres drink involve and 2 idiots want to have a drunken argument.

You have a right to peace and quiet so call the guards each time it happens and tell them its affecting you.

We all have arguments but at the frequency you say that's inconsiderate and unfair.

intheclouds

Next time just ring the Guards immediately.

Even if they call out when its over or the next day it doesnt matter, the point will have been made that its loud enough to disturb others and its serious enough for someone to have called the Guards.

Neyite

I feel so sad for that child with such a chaotic home.

You can still ring Tulsa, and if it were me, I would. They can keep you totally anonymous and can check out the home environment of the child and put measures in place or talk to the school to keep an eye out for any potential issues, or offer the parents help in ways that they might need.

Ryan Mac Sweeney

Hi
Sorry to hear what youre going through and for the poor child also. My advice is that if they fight again contact the gardai immediately just dial 999 ask for the gardai and where you are calling from and then when they answer tell them everything and make sure to include the child when telling them. Also contact Tusla log onto their website and download their number and contact them and ask for them to send out a social worker to the child. I know its a horrible situation to be in but the best thing to do is to report it to the authorities and if they dont help I would consider moving house if I were you.
Good Luck
Ryan

Teafor two12345

Bu the truth is OP. The child is not your responsibility. You can't make them grow up and cop on.

In all likelihood that situation has been there a while and will be there a lot longer. There is not a lot you can do. But certainly if it makes your life quieter ring the guards. I don't know what it will do but if you feel you want to.

I would not get involved further really though. Before it resulted in them coming around to yours. I am sure you want to keep your family and home safe.

Ring the guards explain the situation. Ask for someone with experience hopefully they will send someone with some cop on to deal with the situation well and assess things. Hopefully it will at least be quieter.

You really have to do what keeps YOUR home and family safe. That is what Mr T and I try to do. Don't give them an in.

So whatever you do don't get talking to them again don't go around again. Don't get involved with them in anyway.

intheclouds

Teafor two12345 wrote: »

Bu the truth is OP. The child is not your responsibility. You can't make them grow up and cop on.

Actually the law has changed recently and it is now an offence NOT to report it to the Guards if you think a child is at risk.

So yes, the OP does have a responsibility to report it.

Flippyfloppy

intheclouds wrote: »

Actually the law has changed recently and it is now an offence NOT to report it to the Guards if you think a child is at risk.

So yes, the OP does have a responsibility to report it.

This....for anyone even reading this thread facing a similar situation...you absolutely HAVE to report where children are at risk!!!!

Teafor two12345

intheclouds wrote: »

Actually the law has changed recently and it is now an offence NOT to report it to the Guards if you think a child is at risk.

So yes, the OP does have a responsibility to report it.

I guess then just report it and never speak to them etc. To be honest he is not going to be the last and is probably not the first.

Don't dwell too much just do what you are going to and try not to worry Op.

Don't talk to them etc again. Just keep distance.

Flippyfloppy

Teafor two12345 wrote: »

I guess then just report it and never speak to them etc. To be honest he is not going to be the last and is probably not the first.

Don't dwell too much just do what you are going to and try not to worry Op.

Don't talk to them etc again. Just keep distance.

If the part I bolded is in reference to this couple being reported before nobody here can know whether or not for sure it has already happened. In fact I would say chances are that nobody has reported it before, seeing as most people have a tendency to turn a blind eye to these domestic incidents. Furthermore, OP may be the only person who has had the opportunity to hear these goings on. You can never assume someone else will do the reporting.

Clampdown

I agree with the 1st reply, if it was just 2 adults I would just leave it but if there is a child there you really should report it. And I'm not one of those 'somebody think of the children!' types at all, I just remember the horror and fear I felt the first time I saw my father hit my mother. I ran out of the house to get help. My father called me back and I obeyed him. I wish to God I had not as things only got worse and worse in the years after that and it ended in serious injuries.

I would wager the same happens in any abusive household, things dont get better until someone cops on and cuts the abusive person out of the situation which takes a while and takes a lot of stuff to happen. Esp since women can be as afraid of or financially dependent on the father. The Gardai can't solve everything but the problem can not be solved if it is being swept under the rug by people, even strangers. Plus you have the right to a bit of peace and quiet.

dudara

Teafor two12345 wrote: »

I guess then just report it and never speak to them etc. To be honest he is not going to be the last and is probably not the first.

Don't dwell too much just do what you are going to and try not to worry Op.

Don't talk to them etc again. Just keep distance.

I don't think anyone is suggesting he gets personally involved, and to fair, why should he? The correct thing to do is to ring the professionals, such as the Gardaí and childcare services. His anonymity will be preserved.

This is one of those cases where you shouldn't stick your head in the sand. What a horrible situation that child is in.