Do your kids call you by your first name

dollyk

My adult children do, maybe due to being raised with stepchildren
who called me by my first name.
I have kids ranging from 34 to 11, and now my 11 year old sometimes
calls me by my first name
On holidays she called me and a few women at the pool
said this was lack of respect, I never gave it much thought.
Would you mind if your kids referred to you by your first name ?

Penny Tration

I don't have kids, but I call my parents by their name a lot. not all the time, but fairly often.

I think it's partly because one set of grandparents made us call them by their name, rather than grandad or gran.

It's not disrespectful unless you ask them not to, and they do it anyway.

Deep Six

I still call mine Mam and Dad at 30, would find it weird not to.

dollyk

My grandkids call me nanny ****** so i suppose they call me by my first name too. I still call my older neighbours, mr ...... and mrs ..... . Its the way I was taught.
Funny when I see my teachers I still say Hello miss ***. lol

ElleEm

I doubt my parents would be impressed if I used their first names. Sometimes I do it when I'm takin the piss.

eviltwin

No they call me mum or mam. My son went through a phase where he wanted to call me by my first name and I told him he was one of only two people on the planet who get to call me mum and to think about that. He's called me mum ever since.

TheLastMohican

From my late teens I called my parents by their given name. I've heard the old "lack of respect" thing before. But it's surely a way of showing that you treat another person as a human being rather than being obsequious.
I find it strange some people calling Mammy and Daddy in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s.

XplaygirlX

Always call me mam 'mam' and me dad 'dad' or ma and da

dollyk

my parents called each other " the ma " and " the da " They never referred
to each other with their first names .

One eyed Jack

Nope, I'll always be "Dad" to my child.

One of his friends one day tried to call me by my first name, I told him straight out "That's Mr. ..."

He's called me Mr. ... since.

blondchick

A little boy I know always calls his Mum by her name just because he says that is what everyone else calls her. I think that is fine. I always call my parents Mum and Dad but called my Granny by her first name, not sure why, I was her first grandchild and it was what everybody else called her! I wouldn't consider it lack of respect, whatever people are comfortable with.

blondchick

One eyed Jack, why would you not let your child's friend call you by your first name, if anyone refers to me as Mrs..... I look around and expect to see my mother in law!

Sunnyisland

Mine call me da, but sometimes chastising me they will say my first name,


There in late twentyfold bracket.



I call my ma by her first name mostly, she prefers it :-) she in her 80,s.

LordSutch

Deep Six wrote: »

I still call mine Mam and Dad at 30, would find it weird not to.

Our kids call us Mum & Dad, and we too would find it weird if they called us by our 1st names, on a regular basis.

Probably where stepchildren are involved.

RhubarbCrumble

I don't have kids, but my nieces and nephews all call me by my first name. I don't think I've ever been called "Auntie Rhubarb Crumble" in my life.

Medusa22

I call my mother 'mum' and I call my dad 'dad' but when I talk about my dad for some reason I use his name, but not when I talk about my mum. I think it stems from the fact that I didn't get on with my dad at all when I was a teenager so I used to call him by his first name just to rile him. I really was a cheeky little shyte (not much has changed) :pac:

eviltwin

blondchick wrote: »

One eyed Jack, why would you not let your child's friend call you by your first name, if anyone refers to me as Mrs..... I look around and expect to see my mother in law!

Same here. I hate anyone calling me Ms, adult or child I prefer my first name. Ms just sounds ancient to me, like something you'd call an old lady

blondchick

I call all of my aunts and uncles by their first names and my two older children call all of their aunts and uncles by their first names but for some random reason my youngest little fella calls all his aunts and uncles auntie mary, uncle pat etc. No reason for it just seems normal for him.

One eyed Jack

blondchick wrote: »

One eyed Jack, why would you not let your child's friend call you by your first name, if anyone refers to me as Mrs..... I look around and expect to see my mother in law!

I'm just not his friend is all, I prefer to keep that boundary in place between myself as an adult, and my child, and then my child's friends. I still call my parents in law Mr. and Mrs., because I'm not their friend either, I'm their son in law, and obviously then I still call my mother Mam or Ma :pac:

dollyk

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

I don't have kids, but my nieces and nephews all call me by my first name. I don't think I've ever been called "Auntie Rhubarb Crumble" in my life.

Pmsl

feargale

dollyk wrote: »

my 11 year old sometimes
calls me by my first name
On holidays she called me and a few women at the pool
said this was lack of respect,

Ask those busybody butches have they anything better to do. This is your business. It's none of their bloody business.

Knine

My little lady has a severe disability. She had surgery last year at age 7 & thankfully now she can talk a little bit.

She normally calls me mammy. She is always up to mischief & when I hear her call me by my name - Swiftly followed by "Don't Worry" I get very worried.........

murpho999

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I'm just not his friend is all, I prefer to keep that boundary in place between myself as an adult, and my child, and then my child's friends. I still call my parents in law Mr. and Mrs., because I'm not their friend either, I'm their son in law, and obviously then I still call my mother Mam or Ma :pac:

That is an incredibly old fashioned idea with the son's friend and the in laws.

Sounds like you're a barrel of laughs and you wouldn't have much of a relationship with any of them.

KERSPLAT!

One eyed Jack wrote: »

One of his friends one day tried to call me by my first name, I told him straight out "That's Mr. ..."

He's called me Mr. ... since.

Jaysus that's a bit much, IMO.

Have two kids but only one can talk so far, she calls me daddy. I'd imagine that'll be the same for the little lad and eventually it'll change to dad and from mammy to mam for their mother.

brevity

I've always called my parents by their first names-ever since I was young. People find it quite weird.

Kovu

I started calling my dad by his first name as a sort of pet name- He has a name that can be shortened to a nickname like James becomes Jim/Michael becomes Mick.

And it just stuck, I refer to him by that pet name around the house but he's Dad when we're out at a restaurant or something. Mum is always Mum or Mother.

cowboyBuilder

I always thought it weird that my cousin called his parents by their first name from his mid teens on - now my 4 year old is calling me by my first name sometimes !
But not always , I think he does it cos he hears his mam say it - hope so anyway !

foggy_lad

blondchick wrote: »

One eyed Jack, why would you not let your child's friend call you by your first name, if anyone refers to me as Mrs..... I look around and expect to see my mother in law!

murpho999 wrote: »

That is an incredibly old fashioned idea with the son's friend and the in laws.

Sounds like you're a barrel of laughs and you wouldn't have much of a relationship with any of them.

Jaysus talking about a barrel that is exactly where our bodies would've been found if we ever dared to address an older relative neighbour or parents friend by their first name(even if they told us to it was expected we would ignore their instruction and fall back on what our parents had thought us about being respectful to our elders).

We were always told that when we were adults we could make our own decisions on what we called our parents friends and neighbours!

We were children and were expected and thought to behave as children and not as little mini adults!

johnny osbourne

dollyk wrote: »

My adult children do, maybe due to being raised with stepchildren
who called me by my first name.
I have kids ranging from 34 to 11, and now my 11 year old sometimes
calls me by my first name
On holidays she called me and a few women at the pool
said this was lack of respect, I never gave it much thought.
Would you mind if your kids referred to you by your first name ?

some village is missing something

TheQuietFella

Any idiot or gobsh*te can call you by your Christian name but in my view at
least it is a name that very few can call you & it be treated & respected as such.

One eyed Jack

murpho999 wrote: »

That is an incredibly old fashioned idea with the son's friend and the in laws.

Sounds like you're a barrel of laughs and you wouldn't have much of a relationship with any of them.

Meh, call me old fashioned then, but you're hardly likely to take my word for it then when I say it's because I set those boundaries that I have a great relationship with all of them.

Different strokes for different folks.

eviltwin

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I'm just not his friend is all, I prefer to keep that boundary in place between myself as an adult, and my child, and then my child's friends. I still call my parents in law Mr. and Mrs., because I'm not their friend either, I'm their son in law, and obviously then I still call my mother Mam or Ma :pac:

You can still have boundaries. Using Mr doesn't change that. It doesn't mean they respect you anymore either. And you should be friends if possible with your family, to a point, I don't need to hear about their sex lives or anything but I love hanging out with my daughter and in laws, they are some of my favourite people in the world.

Robsweezie

never, I knew people who did go by first names though, I find it weird and impersonal. your parents aren't just anyone like jimmy or jane, they're ma/da mum/dad mammy/daddy

one eyed jack - that's quite old fashioned no? Id never demand that of anyone. very American ''family values'' type of thing.

murpho999

foggy_lad wrote: »

Jaysus talking about a barrel that is exactly where our bodies would've been found if we ever dared to address an older relative neighbour or parents friend by their first name(even if they told us to it was expected we would ignore their instruction and fall back on what our parents had thought us about being respectful to our elders).

We were always told that when we were adults we could make our own decisions on what we called our parents friends and neighbours!

We were children and were expected and thought to behave as children and not as little mini adults!

It's all well and good being respectful to your neighbours but I think nowadays when you get to know people then first names are fine. Ireland is pretty informal compared to other countries.

Also, calling the inlaws "Mr & Mrs " is extreme in my opinion.

sligojoek

I always called my parents by their first names. My four have always called me Joe. About a year ago my eldest daughter (20) started calling me Dad and two of the others have now started as well. Whenever there's an arguement or disagreement they revert back to Joe.

Savage Tyrant

My step kids call me by my first name... But would refer to me as their Dad if talking about me to someone else.
My biological kids still call me Daddy though and I'd not be happy if they used my name.

I always call my Mum and Dad exactly that, unless I'm messing about.

SEPT 23 1989

My children call me dad and looking back you would never address your friends parents by their first name

One eyed Jack

eviltwin wrote: »

You can still have boundaries. Using Mr doesn't change that. It doesn't mean they respect you anymore either. And you should be friends if possible with your family, to a point, I don't need to hear about their sex lives or anything but I love hanging out with my daughter and in laws, they are some of my favourite people in the world.

I was just never comfortable with the idea of calling them by their first names eviltwin tbh. I know where you're coming from and all but I'd feel it was disrespectful. It's just a personal thing that I prefer is all, and my wife's parents are used to it by now 17 years later, and my son and his friends don't mind.

I know it's old fashioned and all the rest of it but it's what I'm comfortable with, and I just wouldn't feel comfortable with anything else, and I get on with them all just the same as I would anyone else. I don't feel any particular need to be a barrel of laughs or anything else.

It's hard to explain

Turtle_

I used to call my dad by his name because that's what the dog knew him as, and he really was my dad's dog. So I got used to saying things like "Where's <name>? Let's go find <name>" to the dog and began just referring to my dad by his name as a result. Poor mutt's two years dead now, very rarely call my dad by his name now.

My parents refer to each other as mom and dad when talking to me or my brother.

eviltwin

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I was just never comfortable with the idea of calling them by their first names eviltwin tbh. I know where you're coming from and all but I'd feel it was disrespectful. It's just a personal thing that I prefer is all, and my wife's parents are used to it by now 17 years later, and my son and his friends don't mind.

I know it's old fashioned and all the rest of it but it's what I'm comfortable with, and I just wouldn't feel comfortable with anything else, and I get on with them all just the same as I would anyone else. I don't feel any particular need to be a barrel of laughs or anything else.

It's hard to explain

Hey, if that's what works then you don't have to justify it. I know a lot of people who feel the same and they are far from being fuddy duddy, it's just their thing, we all have one.

Do you not find it weird at family occasions having that level of formality though? Does it not make it hard to relax?

fleet_admiral

He calls me daddy but he winds me up sometimes by calling me Gar and just staring at me with a smirk on his face

One eyed Jack

eviltwin wrote: »

Hey, if that's what works then you don't have to justify it. I know a lot of people who feel the same and they are far from being fuddy duddy, it's just their thing, we all have one.

Do you not find it weird at family occasions having that level of formality though? Does it not make it hard to relax?

Nah, not at all, honestly, I mean, when I met them first 17 years ago my wife's parents wondered a bit at the fact that I'd never refer to them by their first names (my wife only told me this after) but they're used to me now and they've never made an issue of it.

They're very easy going though, whereas it wasn't a spoken rule for me growing up, it was just expected that I understood those kinds of formalities. My sons friends all call me "Mr. ..." now and they don't see anything odd about it... least they haven't mentioned it anyway, and the young lad just calls me Dad. I couldn't ever see him using my first name as he'd probably feel as weird about it as I do, but he calls the in-laws and my mam "Nana" and "Grandad". He wouldn't use their first names either.

I've honestly never heard the first names for parents thing all that much really.

miss tickle

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

My step kids call me by my first name... But would refer to me as their Dad if talking about me to someone else.
My biological kids still call me Daddy though and I'd not be happy if they used my name.

I always call my Mum and Dad exactly that, unless I'm messing about.

funny that. My adopted brother is the only one who addressed my parents as 'mam' and 'dad', the rest of us used their christian names. I think it was because they used to own a shop before he was born and we were used to hearing them being referred to by their christian names. When I was around 4 my dad decided he wanted to be called 'dad', it lasted for about 2 days because he even found it weird. My own child calls me by a nickname, which is a miss-pronunciation of my name, which stuck. He calls his dad 'daddy', because that's how I referred to his father when he was v. young. I quite like that he calls me something other than 'mammy'. It also means I can identify his shout in a crowd more quickly.

humberklog

My daughter calls me Dad. Her younger sister calls me Neil. My daughter calls her sister's dad Dad and my daughter's sister calls her dad Dad too.

I call my parents Ma and Da and also by their first names. Calling them by their first names began when I was late teens/early 20's when the family would be playing cards with in-laws, friends and other relatives, so it was easier if we all used first names. All my siblings would use both.

R.D. aka MR.D

I call my mammy by her first name because we worked together when I was teenager and it would have been disrespectful in that context to call her mammy.

Satts

My son calls me by my name. He had a speech delay, so long waiting for him to speak, so he can call me anything he likes, just glad to hear him talking.

miss tickle

Satts wrote: »

My son calls me by my name. He had a speech delay, so long waiting for him to speak, so he can call me anything he likes, just glad to hear him talking.

Don't worry, in a couple of years your name will be the subject of much rhyming slang in his vocabulary, some in my experience, quite funny, enjoy:)

Mackman

My daughter calls me Dad, sometimes she calls me Matt if she hears others saying my name.

Anytime I skype home to see my nephew, I get called "Uncle Travelling Matt"

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/lvqPqtqbSVU/hqdefault.jpg

terryduff12

I remember hearing guy on Sean Moncrieff that does the parenting as he said about it every body can call you Joe, Paddy, Lisa or whoever buts its your kids who get to call you Mum and Dad no one else

miss tickle

terryduff12 wrote: »

I remember hearing guy on Sean Moncrieff that does the parenting as he said about it every body can call you Joe, Paddy, Lisa or whoever buts its your kids who get to call you Mum and Dad no one else

A bit self serving and conditioned don't you think. Parent's have a special connection with their children, it is not necessary for them to have a formal way of addressing each other. Surely the first name which establishes this connection is the most apt.

One eyed Jack

miss tickle wrote: »

A bit self serving and conditioned don't you think. Parent's have a special connection with their children, it is not necessary for them to have a formal way of addressing each other. Surely the first name which establishes this connection is the most apt.

I'm genuinely curious as to why you would suggest that children addressing their parents by their first names is any more apt that addressing them as Mam and Dad, let alone that you would suggest being on a first name basis with their parents is the most apt?

I have to be honest, the first time I heard a four year old refer to his parents by calling his mother by her first name, I did a double take as I wasn't sure what just happened! :pac:

It's just as conditioned to have your children call you by your first name, and if that's not the very definition of self-serving, encouraging children to see adults as their equals, I'm not sure how you could say encouraging them to refer to their parents as Mam and Dad could be any more self-serving?