Feeling hopeless

LegacyUser

As the title says, I feel completely useless at the moment. I finished college in May but failed one of my final year exams twice so came out with a pass (level 7) degree. The regulations of my course state that I am entitled to repeat the exam but college are really not keen for me to do this. It was a practical exam and in order to repeat if I would have to spend some time practically out on placement so I really need to be committed to repeating it. At the moment I have zero actual motivation to do so, the degree was for a very specialised area( don't want to name it as it was a very small course) which I have no desire to work in. I know I should repeat it because it's obviously better to have an honours degre so I can do a post grad in another area etc etc but I just feel so meh about it.

College are IMO really unhelpful about the whole thing, I was genuinely a good student for three years and for whatever reason fell away in fourth year. However I still did ok in everything except this exam and was initially allowed to repeat it the second time because they felt that I had failed it due to anxiety and that it was out of character of me to have failed an exam. I had a meeting last week about doing the exam again and I felt the lecturer acted as though I had always been a bad student. She said that a level 7 degree was great and that I should be really proud of this. I've always been really academic and obviously I'm not going to be proud of getting a lower level of degree that I wanted or was aiming for. I mentioned something about how on the previous placement I had been only 1 mark off a first and she behaved as though I hadn't spoken and said something about how I shouldn't discount people skills as being just as good as academic ones. I felt so patronised by this as I have strong academic skills. I know it's fair enough for her to not remember my grades (although it is really a tiny department and course). Maybe I'm being ridiculous and am imagining it. She kept telling me I can still do a masters with a pass degree even though I know I can't .

Sorry for the essay, I actually don't know what advice I want. Maybe I want motivation to do the exam again I don't know. I feel like such a fraud. I work in retail and everyone makes comments about how I went to university and have a degree but I don't really. Feel just so so so incredibly stupid and hopeless. I want to do so many things but I feel as if I'm not good at anything now, and I will be stuck where I am now forever. I just feel like **** and I can't talk to anyone about it. I want to cry all the time but I feel like I have to just keep pushing through life even though I'm going nowhere.

zoobizoo

1. It's one exam and you have done well at everything else. You are being way too hard on yourself.
2. Sounds like the lecturer was trying to he helpful and that your negative thinking is skewing your interpretation of this.
3. Check about doing the Masters because I did a Masters in DCU recently and I got onto it without an honour.

you may be feeling stupid but you have done very well so far and it sounds like you're intelligent.

You need to start untwisting your negative thoughts and see them for what they are - google Ten Ways to Untwist Your Thinking" From "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David D. Burns, ... this is a good place to start