Opinion on my budget

Jbubs

Hi All
Recently got engaged and we are starting to plan or just get an idea of what we need to do. Have a little boy and are trying now for number 2 so hoping to have a summer 2018 wedding. We are stating to save now and hoping to put a deposit down next summer.
I think I have a very rough idea of how much things will cost and I know it can vary greatly for most things but just looking for a very rough estimate. Don't be afraid to tell me I'm way off on anything - we have plenty of time to save.

Photos - 2,000
Video - 1,000
Dress & Shoes - 2,500
Bridesmaids X 2 Dresses, shoes, accessories - 700
Hair/make-up - 500
Flowers - 500
Band/DJ - 2,500
Misc - 1,000
Invites - 350
Cake - 500
Rings - 1,750
Church music - 500
Suits x 2 to hire - ?
Wedding car & transport for bridal party - ?

I know I am missing lots of stuff like stags/hens, paperwork, wedding course, honeymoon, gifts and reception obviously.

davo2001

The big one is the reception, so factor that in from the start! Suit hire is usually around €100 (roughly) per suit.

Mimojo

Yes reception is a big one alright, that took up a large portion of our budget. Associated with that is wine (if not included in price per head), bar extension (if required), toast drink (if required), and cost of rooms (generally hotel give 3 rooms for b&g and parents, but we paid for rooms for our bridal party and our parents and ourselves for the 2nd night).

Other items I would add, but might not be applicable to you include:

Venue/Church Decoration
Notification of Intention to Marry - 200
Donation to church/priest/servers - where applicable
Hair and Make up trail
Jewellery
Transport - We paid 350 for 2 cars for the day

We bought suits for our wedding, and they really looked great and came up great in the photos. I would recommend you can to buy suits instead, just they are so well fitted and imo look better than hired suits, but that is just me!

The prices you have allocated are a lot more than we paid for stuff, but different strokes for different folks, we had a small wedding (80 people), and spend most of our money on the reception.

I would recommend you spend money on the reception/food/drinks, look after your guest, a really good photographer as the pictures of your day will last forever and you want to be totally happy with them, and good entertainment!

Inspector Coptoor

You left out the biggest single expense which is the reception.
We fed & watered 230 people for €13000.

I don't think you need to spend that much on a wedding dress and shoes.
My wife got a dress and shoes for €1000.

I bought my own tailored suit for €500 and rented for the groomsmen and the dads at a rate of €125 per suit which included a shirt, cuff links and socks they got to keep.

We didn't bother with a wedding car - borrowed a friends Jag and my brother (nest man) drove the bridesmaids.

Toots

Your reception is what's going to decide a big part of your spend. Whereabouts in the country are you, and do you have a rough idea of how many guests you'd be inviting?

Gatica

Jbubs wrote: »

Hi All
Recently got engaged and we are starting to plan or just get an idea of what we need to do. Have a little boy and are trying now for number 2 so hoping to have a summer 2018 wedding. We are stating to save now and hoping to put a deposit down next summer.
I think I have a very rough idea of how much things will cost and I know it can vary greatly for most things but just looking for a very rough estimate. Don't be afraid to tell me I'm way off on anything - we have plenty of time to save.

Photos - 2,000
Video - 1,000
Dress & Shoes - 2,500
Bridesmaids X 2 Dresses, shoes, accessories - 700
Hair/make-up - 500
Flowers - 500
Band/DJ - 2,500
Misc - 1,000
Invites - 350
Cake - 500
Rings - 1,750
Church music - 500
Suits x 2 to hire - ?
Wedding car & transport for bridal party - ?

I know I am missing lots of stuff like stags/hens, paperwork, wedding course, honeymoon, gifts and reception obviously.

If that's the kind of budget you're going with (I'm assuming you can afford all this), then I'd say you're being a little conservative with cost of flowers.

With cost of reception, I would pick the type of hotel you're thinking of going with, finding their price pp and multiply by your expected numbers (assuming it meets the hotel's space and minimum requirement). For nicer venues in the kind of price range I think (from looking at your budget) you may be going for it would probably be around 80pp, so for 120 people wedding, that's about 9600. Of course you'll need to make sure that price covers your meals and any drinks, evening food and reception food you may want. Higher end again, and you're talking 100-120pp, or if you don't mind the general hotels you can probably do for under 60pp.

Mrs2be website has a good xls spreadsheet that I downloaded, amended and used a lot in our wedding planning and budgeting.

Jbubs

Thanks everyone.
Obviously I was keeping the reception separate. Looking at around 100 people either in Dublin or up to an hour outside Dublin. I've looked at a lot of places online but haven't been to view any yet. Just as a guide I've seen a package for Dunboyne Castle Hotel for 92 per person. This includes prosecco, canapés, tea & coffee and biscuits on arrival. Four course meal including a choice of fillet of beef or rack of lamb, half bottle of wine per person and a toast drink of choice. Then supper snacks of sandwiches, cocktail sausages and fish & chip cones or bacon butties.
So something similar to this is what I'm looking for if anyone has any suggestions.

Thanks for the quotes for transport and suits. Groom will buy a suit and will have a think about the groomsmen to see if we can buy them also.
I will be getting hair and make-up trials.
Thanks Gatica for mentioning about the flowers - I just picked a completely random number for flowers as I hadn't a clue. I will allocate more flower money.

I have some small random ideas for the day.
No speeches - both our dads died recently enough and think it would be too emotional as they should be there doing speeches. Myself and hubbie will make a short speech to thank everyone.
I will have a photo charm on my bouquet of my dad.
No top table - myself and hubbie will have a sweethearts table for just us, possibly our son also - our time for just us.
My mam will walk me down the aisle.
A first look. So will arrange with the photographer in advance and plan is to surprise hubbie and kids by meeting them for a few minutes right before the ceremony. Just us 4 and the photographer to get the reactions.
Not sold on the first dance either - perhaps something upbeat like You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall & Oates.

clint_silver

Jbubs wrote: »

Thanks everyone.
Obviously I was keeping the reception separate. Looking at around 100 people either in Dublin or up to an hour outside Dublin. I've looked at a lot of places online but haven't been to view any yet. Just as a guide I've seen a package for Dunboyne Castle Hotel for 92 per person. This includes prosecco, canapés, tea & coffee and biscuits on arrival. Four course meal including a choice of fillet of beef or rack of lamb, half bottle of wine per person and a toast drink of choice. Then supper snacks of sandwiches, cocktail sausages and fish & chip cones or bacon butties.
So something similar to this is what I'm looking for if anyone has any suggestions.

Thanks for the quotes for transport and suits. Groom will buy a suit and will have a think about the groomsmen to see if we can buy them also.
I will be getting hair and make-up trials.
Thanks Gatica for mentioning about the flowers - I just picked a completely random number for flowers as I hadn't a clue. I will allocate more flower money.

I have some small random ideas for the day.
No speeches - both our dads died recently enough and think it would be too emotional as they should be there doing speeches. Myself and hubbie will make a short speech to thank everyone.
I will have a photo charm on my bouquet of my dad.
No top table - myself and hubbie will have a sweethearts table for just us, possibly our son also - our time for just us.
My mam will walk me down the aisle.
A first look. So will arrange with the photographer in advance and plan is to surprise hubbie and kids by meeting them for a few minutes right before the ceremony. Just us 4 and the photographer to get the reactions.
Not sold on the first dance either - perhaps something upbeat like You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall & Oates.

This is the epitome of a "have it your way" wedding, there are no rules, only things that are done. All your ideas are great.
If anyone raises an eyebrow that theres no best man speech, a raised eyebrow will all that it will be.
First dance is great.

Only thing Id say is if youre inviting 100, prepare for the standard 10-15% refusals is there a better word for that maybe (non-acceptances or cant go's) . 80-90 would be a bit sparse in Dunboyne IMO.

Johnstown house, boyne valley, station house, hamlet, or go the other side, summerhill house, glenview. you have 50-60 to pick from really

Sligo1

Sounds like a really gorgeous day you have planned. Your budget seems good. As gatica said, with the budget you have i think you will probably end up spending more on flowers. Your bouquet, and the bridesmaids bouquets, and the pins (for the men) and coursages (bridesmaids, mother etc). And then also any flowers you want for the ceremony.

leo1234

Hey,
If you are getting married in the church there's a pre marriage counciling course (ACCORD) about 2-300, I am paying 375 alone for the upkeep of the church, donation to the priest also. You are also obliged to pay for dinner for your priest and photographer.. Table favours in another thing depending how much you want to spend. I got our videographer for 700 for the full day.. If your not into flowers I wouldn't increase the budget on them there's a place in Tallaght that do wedding deals.. make up for bridesmaids is roughly 50 per person plus travel expenses. Another thing is if you are doing a two night thing that brings up the bill further.. and honeymoon... If you get married mid week the price for reception is cheaper per person. . Apparently the average for wedding rings is 500 per person but I get your thinking ☺ also a gift for the groom, and flower girl flower dresses and page boy outfit.. The list is endless haha! Best of luck ☺☺☺

Mimojo

Jbubs wrote: »

Thanks everyone.
Obviously I was keeping the reception separate. Looking at around 100 people either in Dublin or up to an hour outside Dublin. I've looked at a lot of places online but haven't been to view any yet. Just as a guide I've seen a package for Dunboyne Castle Hotel for 92 per person. This includes prosecco, canapés, tea & coffee and biscuits on arrival. Four course meal including a choice of fillet of beef or rack of lamb, half bottle of wine per person and a toast drink of choice. Then supper snacks of sandwiches, cocktail sausages and fish & chip cones or bacon butties.
So something similar to this is what I'm looking for if anyone has any suggestions.

Thanks for the quotes for transport and suits. Groom will buy a suit and will have a think about the groomsmen to see if we can buy them also.
I will be getting hair and make-up trials.
Thanks Gatica for mentioning about the flowers - I just picked a completely random number for flowers as I hadn't a clue. I will allocate more flower money.

I have some small random ideas for the day.
No speeches - both our dads died recently enough and think it would be too emotional as they should be there doing speeches. Myself and hubbie will make a short speech to thank everyone.
I will have a photo charm on my bouquet of my dad.
No top table - myself and hubbie will have a sweethearts table for just us, possibly our son also - our time for just us.
My mam will walk me down the aisle.
A first look. So will arrange with the photographer in advance and plan is to surprise hubbie and kids by meeting them for a few minutes right before the ceremony. Just us 4 and the photographer to get the reactions.
Not sold on the first dance either - perhaps something upbeat like You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall & Oates.

Have whatever kind of wedding you want, and do what suits you! There is way too much "you have to do it this way" associated with weddings if you ask me.

We recently got married and we just had really short speeches. We didnt bother with a top table either, we sat with our families at a round table like everyone else and it was lovely, you felt like you were in the wedding rather than looking down on it, and was able to get up between courses to chat to people.

The thought of a first dance really didnt appeal to us, so we didnt bother with it, and didnt have a band, just a singer for an hour after the meal, then a DJ and it worked out just lovely.

Do what suits you, its your day. All your ideas sound really lovely to me, especially the first look! We just got some of our photos from the photographer, and the ones I love the most are the preparation ones, and the ones of just us together, they are the special moments you want to capture!

TheNibbler

Mimojo wrote: »

The thought of a first dance really didnt appeal to us, so we didnt bother with it, and didnt have a band, just a singer for an hour after the meal, then a DJ and it worked out just lovely.

Quick question! Planning on skipping the first dance too as couldn't really handle all that attention. Just curious if it made it more difficult/delayed people starting to dance? Always seems as if the first dance is a cue for people to head towards the dance floor so am a little worried it might be a bit awkward or that the dance floor might be empty without a first dance? Thanks

fits

We just headed in when the band started playing and had a wee dance. But it wasn't a First Dance. We didn't pick a special tune or anything.

Toots

leo1234 wrote: »

Hey,
If you are getting married in the church there's a pre marriage counciling course (ACCORD) about 2-300, I am paying 375 alone for the upkeep of the church, donation to the priest also. You are also obliged to pay for dinner for your priest and photographer.. Table favours in another thing depending how much you want to spend. I got our videographer for 700 for the full day.. If your not into flowers I wouldn't increase the budget on them there's a place in Tallaght that do wedding deals.. make up for bridesmaids is roughly 50 per person plus travel expenses. Another thing is if you are doing a two night thing that brings up the bill further.. and honeymoon... If you get married mid week the price for reception is cheaper per person. . Apparently the average for wedding rings is 500 per person but I get your thinking ☺ also a gift for the groom, and flower girl flower dresses and page boy outfit.. The list is endless haha! Best of luck ☺☺☺

You are NOT obliged to pay for dinner for your priest and photographer! We didn't invite our priest to the meal, and out of anyone I know who did invite them, the priest declined. We asked the parish office for advice on this and were told that it wasn't a requirement to ask the priest, and in a lot of cases the priest would be too busy to attend, so no need to ask.

Same goes with photographer - some appreciate the gesture, and if they're covering the first dance then I'd definitely offer (we did) but some photographers will either be leaving before then, or will have factored in the cost of the meal into the package. Some packages only cover up until the start of the meal, so the photographer won't want to stay.

If you WANT to pay for the meals of your photographer and/or priest, that's completely up to you, but you're certainly not obliged to do anything.

Mimojo

TheNibbler wrote: »

Quick question! Planning on skipping the first dance too as couldn't really handle all that attention. Just curious if it made it more difficult/delayed people starting to dance? Always seems as if the first dance is a cue for people to head towards the dance floor so am a little worried it might be a bit awkward or that the dance floor might be empty without a first dance? Thanks

I did notice that people, well especially older people were waiting for their cue to dance, so me and my bridesmaids and dad went up onto the dance floor mid way through the first song and had a bit of a boogie, once we did everyone was up and off they went!

homerjay2005

€15,000 excluding the reception is very very extravagant!

based off two family weddings, Band and DJ can be got for about €1500.

you dont need a video and if you do the invites yourself, you can save about €250 there.

€500 for church music is also very very expensive, depends on what you want of course but its only 1 hour and you could get a good set up for €100.

almost €4000 for dress, bridesmaid, hair and make up is also very much OTT also.


if you can afford it then good for you, but it does seem you are planning something thats going to see you spending alot of money that you may not necessarily need to spend!

jon1981

Band and DJ for 1500? I Don't believe this is possible. A good band will be 1800+ and for DJ on top provided by the band for about 300. Obviously there are bands out there that will quote less, but I put emphasis on "good" band when i say 1800+

jon1981

Are church booklets included in your 350 for invites? Don't bother with favours at the table, waste of money and nobody gives a f**k. Instead throw the money towards a charity.

Videographer are a waste of money if you're only interested in the ceremony and speeches then get a friend to record them on a decent camera and tripod.

Jbubs

Thanks homer. Not much experience with a lot of this stuff so some numbers were completely random. I know I don't need a video and initially it wasn't on my list but others have advised to get it as the day passes in such a daze.

Viewed dunboyne castle at the weekend and it was fine. To be honest we're not sure what we want. Other half wants something the all his friends can come to and I'd like something small and intimate. We have a baby and hopefully we'll be lucky enough to have another by this time next year and it just doesn't feel right spending all this money on 1 day.
It would be different if I were excited about it and looking forward to the planning but I just don't feel like that.

Thanks everyone for your tips and opinions.

homerjay2005

Jbubs wrote: »

Thanks homer. Not much experience with a lot of this stuff so some numbers were completely random. I know I don't need a video and initially it wasn't on my list but others have advised to get it as the day passes in such a daze.

ive been to 9 weddings in the last year and a half and i dont recall any of them having a video!

seems that most people have cut them out.

jon1981

Most certainly agree on the budget and what you are comfortable spending. It is a lot of money to spend on one day so you have to weigh that up against other priorities, current children, house plans...etc. Are you sacrificing needs over wants...etc.

Make sure you make peace early in the process about what you are spending otherwise it will grate away at you as you get closer to the wedding as some of the costs may rise and pile more tension on you and essentially ruin the buildup and enjoyment of the day.

jon1981

homerjay2005 wrote: »

ive been to 9 weddings in the last year and a half and i dont recall any of them having a video!

seems that most people have cut them out.

Personally I can't stand them and I don't want my guests made uncomfortable by a video camera shoved in their face all night long. Let me eat, drink and be merry with dignity rather than capture the drunken antics for all to see! I certainly would hold back if i knew a video camera was on the scene.

Jbubs

Good point Jon - I'll forget the video

Gatica

TBH, I don't think the videographers stay long enough to capture drunken antics unless the guests decided to get hammered in the first couple of hours of dinner. They get the first dance, that's about it. They're also not generally intrusive, unless you have someone inexperienced maybe.
Personally though, I don't like having to leave voice/video messages for the B&G and wasn't all that fond of our wedding video either.

fits

Some of the videos they show on One fab Day are deadly I think. but in my opinion its only worth it if you are going between a few places in the day. We were all in one venue all day and it lashed rain so it would have been boring enough I think and not worth getting a professional. We got my brother to record the ceremony and speeches, which is lovely to have.

Stationmaster

I don't usually comment on these threads but saw this and said why not!

Like a lot of people have said already it's your day so plan it exactly the way you want to. From my own experience (and it goes a little against what a lot have said) I was against having a video as I felt we'd have loads of photos but I am really glad now that my wife insisted on there being one there. Ours was in the background all the time and it was great to sit down and watch it as you'd always miss bits and pieces from the day. If anything I'm half sorry that we didn't have him to stay for a good bit of the dancing as well as we had serious fun and I'd love to be able to watch some of it back and also show the kids. But, like a lot of other things, it's a personal thing so just go with what you want.

You could save money on the wedding cars by maybe borrowing a friends car but then you might have a certain type of car in mind so go with what you want.

Caraconneelt

I have to say I agree with the other posters in doing it your own way, everyone is different and there's no hard or fast rule. I am getting married next June. .....I have two children and a mortagage already and I wouldn't want to spend too much money on one day and my fiance wanted low key too. We decide on a civil ceremony in the one venue.
No top table, just a normal table with the parents and the kids. No groomsman and no bridesmaids just the kids as page boy and flower girl, no speeches as we just don't like the part of any wedding we have attended.
I'd say the first dance will be a little swing around the floor with the children and the parents just to get everyone going as neither of us would be very good slow dancers.
Made my invites online, got the dress in a sale and I love it!!!! Don't need cars as we won't be leaving the one venue and I plan to check in and change into my dress there.
Friends making the cake, another friend doing an artificial bouquet and i ordered the flowers off eBay.
No sweet carts or photo booths, just unnecessary expense really. Also didn't go for a video either maybe just get one of the guests to film the ceremony and greeting guests just to get everyone on camera.
Have the band, dj, photographer and the 4 star hotel venue as the biggest expenses. Should be less than 9000 total and that's including 160 people to have a 5 course meal also.
I love a good bargain lol!!!!

Jbubs

We are very much on the same wavelength caraconneelt. I think my future mil will have different ideas but I'm very adamant that this will be done our way regardless of who thinks what. Everyone should get the wedding they want regardless of its traditional. I have no interest in doing something just because it's tradition. That's why I'm picking and choosing exactly what I want.

Caraconneelt

I guess we're really lucky that our mums aren't like that Jbubs and they really just want what we want and agree that 25000 is too much to spend on one day. We already know we are spending our lives together, the day is just about making it official. A few of my close friends are engaged too and planning next year and their parents are a lot more vocal regarding church and music and traditional stuff. I'm just looking forward to a lovely party with all our close friends and family, try to keep it as relaxed as possible.

jon1981

I'm sorry but if the future MIL or your own mother is not paying for a large portion of the wedding, they have no say. Simple! Also when you're sending the invites, traditionally it was "Mrs and Mr X and Y invite you to the marriage of their daughter x to y" If the parents were paying for alot of the wedding, otherwise the invitations come from you.

pwurple

Just on the sweetheart table, I was at a wedding last year where the couple had one, and they were absolutely plagued with people popping over to congratulate them. For some reason people thought it was ok if they were on their own, but I've never seen that done at top table or group table.

Also, I was dead set against the video too, but my husband wanted it, so I relented. I actually hated it on the day as well, massive camera, huge lighting, I found myself actively avoiding it. But, ten years later, I realise how nice it is to have video of people who have passed away since. So, I'd be on the fence on it.