Advice on what to do with a girl i still love

Thomas1992

The weekend before my girlfriend broke up with me she went really quiet not talking and stuff the way we would normally. She said sorry that sunday and i said dont worry about it once we are cool and you are okay...then she went back to the same thing again and i kept asking are you okay and she kept on saying she was fine and was she no! I drove down to her house took me an hour the next day waited for her to come home from college in the mean time i told her i was coming down and she said piss of which i wasnt doing because i knew there was something up. When she got home she got into the car and i asked what wrong and she started cryin she didnt give me an answer but i asked her was it me she said no its not so told her if i didnt come down it was over because i couldnt handle it ut saying that i wouldnt do that cause i love her and still do! So i started talking to her about my past and how rough i had it from a 15 year old looking after a farm and all the people saying i wouldnt make it and i did but wasnt easy going i had depression so i told her that and she came around a bit and said she suffers from an eating dissorder and she is on anti depressants and i was happy she told me that. After that evening all was well until the next weekend when we went away. The evening we where away she went all quiet i was on one side of the bed and she was on the other i asked her what was wrong a few times she said nothing is wrong i asked her if we are cool she said yes that continued on for a while been like that then we went to bed and she started kissing me and she seemed alright again after all if you arent interested in the person anymore you wouldnt kiss them. Next morning we went back home and she popped the queston is this working out and i said what needed to be said. She said it was over and i asked several times is there away to work this out she said no, I rang her text her and got know where! I spoke constantly on the phone for one hour solid and she might of spoke ten words, instead it should have been her speaking for an hour! So its amonth on now and im still confused why we arent together. She said its all her fault we are having to many ad moments and its not my fault I think its her eating dissorder getting the better of her what do i do

Thomas1992

What should i do

Idle Passerby

Leave her alone, she doesn't want to be with you. I know its tough when you haven't really got a proper reason about what was upsetting her/made her decide to end it, but it doesn't look like your going to at this point. Just chalk it up to experience and try to start moving on.

Thomas1992

Okay thanks its just hard to know with these things

mapaca

Sorry OP, it sounds like she has made up her mind and I don't think there's anything you can do to get her back. I know it's difficult and frustrating when you don't have a concrete reason for the break up, but the bottom line is she wanted to end it, she didn't see a future in it. This doesn't mean you did anything wrong. It will take time but you'll get through this.

Cut contact with her. Keep busy, spend some time with your friends, go out and have a laugh. It will get easier. Be kind to yourself.

Thomas1992

She said that we where having more bad times than good and she said it was because of her being the way she is. I had to talk to her several times about her situation and the way she feels about herself and everytime i confronted her and she felt better again.That day i told her it was curtains if we didnt talk and she changed her mood and was really happy again and said she was glad i was in her life. Then the the weekend came and it changed.
You wouldnt go away on a weekend with somebody that you arent interested in anymore would you or start kissing them.
Its confusing my mind is racing ever since and my stomack is wrapped up in knotts il have to get on with life no choice haha.
thanks for your comment

njs030

Thomas1992 wrote: »

You wouldnt go away on a weekend with somebody that you arent interested in anymore would you or start kissing them.

Well yes many people would if they weren't 100% sure of their decision.

Most people sway between wanting to break up and being unsure for a while before they actually make the decision, it would explain her being hit and cold with you too.

Thomas1992

Right okay dont think this will get me anywhere
Thanks anyways

Teafor two12345

AN eating disorder will be the hardest battle anyone has to fight mentally emotionally and physically. It could be she feels she needs to be single to do it.

But the thing here is acceptance. You should accept her decision. There is not really anything else you can do.

To be honest Ed sufferes are geniuses are hiding how bad an ed can be.

it sounds like you are better off out of it to be honest it doesn't sounds like it was warm and loving for you. So take care and focus on looking after you now.

Ursus Horribilis

notjustsweet wrote: »

Most people sway between wanting to break up and being unsure for a while before they actually make the decision, it would explain her being hot and cold with you too.

I very much agree with this. Break-ups aren't always black and white, cut and dried affairs. They can be messy and long-drawn out and a bit confused. I get the impression that your ex girlfriend was struggling for a while with this but ultimately decided she wanted to split. She hasn't changed her mind. There isn't always a reason for a split. Maybe it's the eating disorder that's messing with her head but nobody can say for sure. It might be something as simple as her falling out of love with you.

It's going to hurt like hell to lose her but why should you return to "no life"? I get the impression that you were very dependent on her and that's not healthy either. Have you got any friends in your life? A social life? You might be better off working on that part of your life rather than hoping that she'll change her mind and come back.

Thomas1992

Ive it sorted and ive a great social life and friends if your something special left you, you would be the same, eating dissorder is the problem. She just doesnt know what to do.
Anyways thanks
How do i take this post down

Ursus Horribilis

You're not the only person who has experienced a horrible break-up. I have too. So have most people. Accepting it's over and moving on is the only way you can start to heal. If you obsess about why she kissed you on a weekend away and that it's just the eating disorder, it will melt your head.

PM a mod if you want the thread taken down.

Thomas1992

Thats grand thanks for your comments much apprciated they helped