Trapped in a job I hate

LegacyUser

So Im nearly 30 years old and I started working in a large international bank nearly 2 years ago after returning from an amazing 2 years in Australia. I used to be the most social outgoing guy you could meet. But ever since I started my current role I turned into a zombie. I hate my job so much. I never made any friends since working in the role and the job stresses me out so much. Im constantly tired and can never get it off my mind. I wake up tired, sometimes go home on my lunch break to snooze, finish work then sleep on my bed for 30-60 mins wake then stay awake for a few hours then sleep again. I used to be big into sports, gym and socialising with friends. Now I cant do any of them because Im too tired from the stress of work. I isolate myself from everyone in order to preserve my energy and I lost all confidence because Im so stressed out all the time. I think the only thing causing it is the fact that I hate work and environment and don't want to get up everyday and be there.

I try every day to leave but cant. I cant get another job. I talk to recruitment agents every day and they send me job specs and offers by email but that's usually the last I hear of them. I sent my cv into every bank and finance institute in Dublin but still no offers. I cant even get an interview. I don't want to give up trying but I am completely trapped in my job with no way out. I don't know how much longer I can stay there without going all out crazy. I just want to have a nice job, where I can work hard but enjoy myself. I want to be able to have the energy to go to gym, play sports and socialise with frriends.

My life is starting to fall apart now. I recently broke up with my girlfriend and I am now fighting with colleagues and housemates. I don't have enough saving to leave. I would like to do a masters next year but cant if I constantly feel this stressed out. I have rent and bills to pay and not sue If I should just get a job in a bar or shop and then forget about my career and just enjoy myself. I have high ambitions but cant do anytime while Im stuck in this job and there doesn't seem to be any possibility of moving jobs.

Would appreciate your help. Thanks

Pink and Sparkly 2015

Hi Trapped

Firstly, sorry you're feeling so bad - I'd like to say that this too will pass but that's not much help to you atm!

So, do you know what stresses you out about your job exactly? Is it too busy, it it above/ below your skillset & capabilities? Is it something you've always done or something completely different?

Hating being at work is crap and it really affects the rest of your life; it would be good to try and compartmentalise work and leave it behind at finishing time but that is so much easier said than done

The sleeping so much / feeling tired at your age is definitely not good. It could be a manifestation of a physical or mental issue. Sometimes with tiredness the more exercise you do the less tired you feel, even if it's just going for a walk for 30 minutes it can make a difference. For me it's playing tennis, the gym bores me, I only like walking to and from somewhere or somewhere fabulous like a beach or lovely countryside. So if there's anything like that for you then go do it.

Splitting with your GF on top of work issues is definitely tough, had you been together long?

The arguing with colleagues / housemates - could this be a desire for someone just to battle through the outer hard shell and actually see that you are hurting?

Do you have anyone you could talk to? Close friend or parent? My son has had a few issues himself that have caused him stress and I feel privileged that he chose to talk to me about it honestly and that I was able to help him (he's 25)

The more I talk to people the more I realise that we all have our issues and some of them are very similar, it's easy to think that we're going thru things on our own but I find that most people are willing to help and encourage others.

I do think that you need to find someone to talk to and start there.

Hope this helps

Lamp69

You need to take a risk to get out of your job. I was in the public sector for years and hated it. So I decided I had enough and started applying for jobs. Like you nothing much came about. So one day I got the name of the boss in a large company, found him via LinkedIn and sent a message directly about work. He was impressed with my "risk taking" and invited me for an interview. And I got it. Try the same maybe

ongarboy

Hey OP- sorry for your problem - I know what's like to be in jobs that cause you immense stress and finally availed of a career guidance coach after 12 years in one IFSC job that almost burned me out. They were able to help me profile exactly what I wanted through extensive psychological profiling of my natural interests/motivations/personality traits etc and am now in a better suited role within the same industry so my experience did not go to waste.

I would suggest you engage the services of a reputable career coach to work with you on your CV so that you come across as an attractive candidate. The funds/finance/banking industry is buoyant again and most banks are now hiring. It seems there is something amiss in your applications and/or CV if you are getting zero call backs. Are you contacting banks directly rather than using recruitment agencies? Most banks will use agencies rather than take unsolicited applications but there are some exceptions.

Finally, register an account with LinkedIn if you have not already done so and build a profile and tailored description that highlights your experience and abilities. A CV/career coach can also assist with this. Recruitment agencies are always googling potential candidates in LinkedIn and will attempt to make connections with you if their keywords appear on your profile. (eg project manager, change management, hedge funds, OTC derivatives, invoice discounting, mortgage lending whatever etc). I get about one recruitment agency connection request each week to discuss vacancies on their books even though I'm not seeking a new job at the moment.

Life is too short to be doing something that makes you miserable. Hang in there and keep persisting with the job hunt but change your methodology using some of the tips above if what you currently doing is clearly not working. Above all else, look after your health and wellbeing.

Teafor two12345

The economy is a little better now. Taking risks is actually less risky maybe get some professional career advice? :-)

stra

I agree with ongar. A life coach is a great idea. You need to break your routine. I work in banking also and I regularly see people working crazy hours for little money and even less recognition. I know they hate their job but for some reason they keep doing it. I guess it comes down to money and bills.
Start by doing just the hours required, begin jogging and work with a life coach to focus and guide you.
Good luck and make sure you come back and tell us how you changed your life ☺

LegacyUser

I'm in a similar enough situation mate, I've recently hit 30 and have been worked to the bone in a politically driven hell hole of a bank in ireland for nearly four years. I've hit that point over the past month that I know I've reached my end of the line in that organisation. I have felt those emotions that I'm trapped, won't ever get out, thinking it's impossible to leave a permanent job, it's normal emotions to experience when you're used to working somewhere for most of your day. My stomach was in knots going in for a while and progressively over the past couple of weeks I've been slowing myself down a bit and just generally not taking the kip as seriously which is helping.

Four people who I worked with in my bank have left this year and got jobs with other banks on better pay and conditions. Listening to their stories about how well their respective new employers are treating them has told me to GTFO and given me the incentive and confidence that if I am proactive and bide my time I will find something better. I would definitely sit back and re-evaluate all aspects of your job search and CV, you've got two solid years experience in your bank, a good degree and the economy is continuing to improve and will do so again next year, you've more going for you than you think. You need to be positive and stay focused on your well being, get back onto gym, going out with friends, try something new in your life, just keep your mind off 9-5!

In the short term can you see if there is anyway you could move to another department within your bank? It's common for one person down one end of corridor on a certain team having the most miserable experience and the other person down the other end loving the team they are working on. Any voluntary redundancy opportunities? I know with bills/rent anything like that would be a risk if it cropped up suddenly but at least you could then give full commitment to your job hunt.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys for all the replies – OP here. They have been great and sorry for the delayed return.

I’m not exactly sure what the stress is about. I think it’s mainly down to just feeling so alone in the job. Since I walked in on day 1 everyone either kept to themselves or had their own group of friends that they went for coffee or lunch with. I was never invited and thus never giving me the confidence to be the outgoing lively guy that I once was. I then just turned into a shell of myself. I just went to the gym or sat at my desk during lunch. For me to succeed and be happy I always felt the need for someone to be friendly with. I never had that. I only really talk to colleagues about sport or business. On top of that I was moved to a different job in the same department. Everyone in my old position had to be moved on. My work is now very boring and not what I want to do at all. I think I would enjoy working in the banking or finance industry if I had a good challenging job and I could interact with clients and have a good set of colleagues. I’m not very good at my current position due to stress and lack of interest. I tend to make a lot of basic mistakes and make no afford to learn new challenges.

I am ambitious and want to move up in the world but I feel completely trapped where I am. I have no interest in succeeding in this company. I just want out but I can’t because nobody is giving me an opportunity. I’ve apply for jobs every single day for months and months but get nothing. All the symptoms I feel every day is going to affect my phone manner and interview skills. There is something missing in my applications – my degree is not in business or finance related. I did do a postgrad in business and got on very well and that was because I loved it. I plan to do a part time Masters next year but I can’t if I continue to feel like this.

Me and my girlfriend had been together for over a year. I had all these problems before I met her but now it has just compounded. I used to be able to talk to her about the problems and now I have nobody. I don’t want to talk to anyone else about it. I would love a new job but I’m not 100% convinced that all of the issues will go away over night if I got a new job.

I have registered an account on Linkedin and get calls from recruitment agents but when they submit my application to the job I never hear anything back from them.

I have since found a brochure on an employee assistance program that is available to my company. I’m a bit nervous but I think I might have to call them to discuss my issues. Its free and its confidential.

Also, thanks guys on the career coach advise. I never would of thought of that. I am going to contact them and arrange a meeting to discuss my CV and career options.