feel like a failure and can't see way out...

LegacyUser

Hey Everyone,

I'm lost here and very depressed over my situation starting to think i'm doomed. Basically i'm a 23 year old male and have been unemployed since I left school. Comparing myself to others my age i'm pretty much screwed everyone seems to have tonnes of work experience compared to me, I know friends who are 18 - 19 and have found their way into work straight out of school and it sickens me that I have put myself in this situation. Not to make excuses but I just can't believe how much time has gone by.

I am now about 5 years unemployed but did (complete fetac level 5 and 6 courses the last 2 years) but still have a 3 year employment gap. For such a young person I feel like such a length of unemployment will stay with me for many years and looks really bad. Long-term I was hoping to join the defence forces, Gardai ect.. but I'm starting to think that'll never happen.

I do have 4 years experience working in a retail shop but that ended in 2011 and I left with no references and no way to contact the people I worked with (placed closed down) I am now literally depressed and suffering from severe anxiety which bring on regular panic attacks. My own feeling about myself have even changed. I just don't know what to do I feel like even if I do get employment my long term goals will be affected.

HiGlo

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I'm sure it's tough alright.

Do you see many job opportunities in your area of interest? You haven't mentioned if you've been applying for jobs? What were the courses in? It's great that you've been building your learning.
If there's not much by way of jobs, if you're already in the position of not working could you volunteer or intern or something in the area your interested in? So you're getting valuable experience, even if you're not getting paid. Have you joined the FCA? If you're interested in the defence forces this can be a stepping stone.

I wouldn't stress too much about gaps of unemployment, they become smaller and disappear as you get on with life.
I have had lots of jobs (way more than a lot of people) in all different areas of work, but none of them feature on my cv now. I just put the details of my 3 most recent jobs on and that's all people look at, they don't care about jobs I did 15 years ago! (I'm 36).

StanleyOllie

I wouldnt be stressing too much. Go do some voluntary work. Show you can make the effort. Be confident in yourself and your abilities. If you are willing to work there will be something out there. Do some training on interview skills. If you show that you really want to work you will find a job.

pgj2015

Go to college as a mature student (23), you should get BTEA allowance, basically the government will pay you to go to college,the guards want people who have either worked or got Degree's in college especially now a days, there are a lot of college graduates in the Guards now, then if you want get a relative or family friend to say you worked for them in the years before you went to college, no one will ever question it, you are still young, you can do it.

gline

pgj2015 wrote: »

Go to college as a mature student (23), you should get BTEA allowance, basically the government will pay you to go to college,the guards want people who have either worked or got Degree's in college especially now a days, there are a lot of college graduates in the Guards now, then if you want get a relative or family friend to say you worked for them in the years before you went to college, no one will ever question it, you are still young, you can do it.

Great advice.
Are you applying for jobs? What do you feel the main reason you being unemployed is?

LegacyUser

pgj2015 wrote: »

Go to college as a mature student (23), you should get BTEA allowance, basically the government will pay you to go to college,the guards want people who have either worked or got Degree's in college especially now a days, there are a lot of college graduates in the Guards now, then if you want get a relative or family friend to say you worked for them in the years before you went to college, no one will ever question it, you are still young, you can do it.

I couldn't do that even though I'd love to at least get a degree. I just don't wanna go back to college for another 3 years which means another 3 years getting benefits, 11 months before the next college term begins. I'd be 28 leaving college and that's just to far away for me. I do plan on going private in the near future which should speed the process up for me.

I have a friend that could give me a reference saying I was working with him when I was doing my fetac courses so at least that something and will shorten the gap for me. I'll still have a 2 years + gap but nothing I can do about that now...

pgj2015

unemplo wrote: »

I couldn't do that even though I'd love to at least get a degree. I just don't wanna go back to college for another 3 years which means another 3 years getting benefits, 11 months before the next college term begins. I'd be 28 leaving college and that's just to far away for me. I do plan on going private in the near future which should speed the process up for me.

I have a friend that could give me a reference saying I was working with him when I was doing my fetac courses so at least that something and will shorten the gap for me. I'll still have a 2 years + gap but nothing I can do about that now...

If you do a course in college that interests you, the time will fly by, a college year is only really about 7 months in total, plus the btwa allowance should be plenty for a student to live on, 28 leaving college is not old, just because your friends might be well established in their careers at 28 doesn't mean you have to be. some people are late bloomers. don't worry about the gap on your cv, it would be different if you got a degree then did nothing for 2 years after getting it, but a gap before a few years in college is about as important as your leaving cert results, I remember back in secondary school all the pressure on leaving cert results, I don't even have my leaving cert results on my cv, no one has ever cared about them or asked about them, same as they wont ask about your 2 year gap, as long as you go get a degree. Trust me going back to education is the best thing you can do.

gline

I'm in college now, started in my late 20's, plenty of mature students in college these days in all types of courses. There are even a lot of older people than me upskilling, age these days isnt a big factor.

LegacyUser

Thanks for advice everyone,

I suppose one of my problems are that for some reason I feel so old. I've felt like that since my teens though lol

ordinary_girl

unemplo wrote: »

I'd be 28 leaving college and that's just to far away for me.

Just on this point, you're still going to be 28 in fours years no matter what happens, would you rather be 28 with a degree or without? I wouldn't let age or time be a factor in not going to college (assuming you want to go to college?), there are a lot of mature students and you should be eligible to get BTEA.

In terms of feeling old, I was actually on the dole before I started college. In fairness, I didn't go in as a mature student, but I found that being on the dole for a year aged me because I wasn't really socialising at all and I wasn't around people my own age. Going to college, weird as it sounds, I ended up actually feeling young again and less jaded with life in general.

2011

unemplo wrote: »

I'd be 28 leaving college and that's just to far away for me.

I graduated from my degree at the ripe old age of 40, that was 6 years ago.

Going to college was the best decision I have ever made, it truly turned my life around and you would be twelve years ahead of me.

From my experience and I had some very tough times:
You can do this. Once you make the decision you will have an end goal to focus on. The years of unemployment will motivate you.

The choice is yours.

Best of luck OP!

LegacyUser

As I said I need employment. I spent hours last night looking at college courses and none interests me. Business, sports, law, languages the lack of choice is pathetic here. I'm sure i'll find some work along the way..........