Feeling like a jackass (nervousness)

Jayjay29

Hey guys,

I actually just created this profile to look for advice. For me its a very embarrasing subject. I guess I suffer from mild social anxiety although I was never diagnosed I know I meet the criteria.

Anyhow I have been really trying to push myself lately to get over it. I started a new job (male nurse) recently and I love my work but I am constantly worrying if my co workers like me. I feel I am very pleasant and nice to be around but sometimes when I'm getting to know new people my voice gets a bit shaky and I say awkward things.

Like yesterday in the canteen I was meeting one of the new nurses who started too and my hands were slightly trembling and my voice was a little shaky. We spoke for quite awhile and despite my nervousness I feel I come across well but I always fear that they view my anxiety as a character flaw. Everyone else appears so confident and self assured

I was bullied years ago and I guess this has dented my confidence a bit. Meeting new people can be such a challenge for me. Do you feel that people are generally forgiving of nervous folk? I just hope that its not too noticable.

Thank you so much for any responses on the matter!
J

svei

Hi Jayjay, I've suffered from crippling anxiety nearly all my life. Now that I'm older (mid 30's) it's gotten a lot better and I'm much more confident in my own skin. I can completely relate to what you are describing but I can also honestly say that I don't think the people you meet have even noticed that you were nervous. I remember thinking that everybody saw my anxiety and that it was so noticeable, but after talking to people I've come to realise that they really never noticed. We can get a bit wrapped up in ourselves sometimes so that we forget that other people are not scrutinising us the way we are scrutinising ourselves.

I think you are doing great, and I think that pushing yourself is a great way to get over it - it worked for me anyway. I started to put myself in situations that I normally would run a mile from (social situations usually) and gradually they got easier and easier. One thing that really helped me was talking to a friend of mine who is quite shy and quiet, but also very confident in herself. She made me realise that it's ok to be me. I'm never going to be the life and soul of a party, I am me and people still like me for who I am.

As regards work, I think it will get easier with time. All new jobs are difficult at the start, and as a nurse you will be meeting new people a lot so there will be plenty of opportunities to challenge yourself. You don't say if you are recently qualified but if you are then I'm sure you realise that there it'll be a while until you're confident in your job - but that goes for all professions, not just nursing. And if you've been nursing a while, it's still a new workplace and will take time until you know people and how things work there.

Best of luck with everything, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in these feelings and that you are ok just the way you are