Normal or nah?

LegacyUser

Hi everybody, going unreg for this, long time poster, just been having some problems with my mindset lately, for as long as i can remember I've had to deal with the crippling fear of the people around me dying. Just something I've always experienced but its very hard to deal with sometimes as in I always have at the back of my mind when saying goodbye to someone that it might be the last time, just wondering if anyone can give me a bit of advice on the situation like is this like is this normal brain behavior or should i seek out help with my mindset, Just as a bit of background I've been blessed to have never had a major bereavement touch wood this is just something thats been in my brain all along. Also had problems with anxiety in the past but nothing serious enough that I've seeked out treatment. Big thanks for any help, A.N. Other

Paddy Cow

This is not normal and goes beyond the scope of anyone on boards. I would suggest getting professional help. We all die and so do the people around us but it shouldn't be a thought that consumes your life.

Shrap

Surelookidunno wrote: »

its very hard to deal with sometimes as in I always have at the back of my mind when saying goodbye to someone that it might be the last time

I think it's a very common fear OP. I sometimes struggle with this too, especially when saying goodbye to my bf who doesn't live with me and has a dangerous job using a chainsaw! A friend of mine's husband is a fisherman and I often wondered how she coped with waving him off, until I too met someone in an equally dangerous profession. All I can say is that you learn to accept that something awful could happen to anyone you love at any time, but that generally, it doesn't. Every time the thought comes into your head, you must try and be rational. Explore your fear. Understand that statistically, your family and friends are in no more danger than anyone else and try to trust that they are careful people.

The ancient Stoics used to use this fear as a kind of benchmark to actually consider when you thought of loved ones, and to train yourself to live in the moment and to "seize the day" - make the most of what you have now in the knowledge that anything/everything is subject to changes beyond your control.

There are methods and mechanisms to deal with the fear that springs from our lack of control over chance, and perhaps if these fears are becoming overwhelming for you and you can't quite reconcile them in your daily life, it would do you no harm to talk it out with a professional? It's really helpful just to articulate it with someone.

prettyrestless

I occasionally think about what would happen if a loved one passed away, and I think a lot of people do and that's very normal. However if you feel that this fear is starting to take over your life and you're thinking about it every day then make you should visit your GP and chat to them about it?