the difference between banter and bullying

Robsweezie

alan sugar getting some stick for ''body shaming'' ian beale
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/showbiz/s2/eastenders/news/a673298/lord-sugar-defends-himself-after-adam-woodyatt-tweet-backlash-it-was-a-joke-with-a-mate.html#~pqVb5vE7W7kGvK

so it raises the question, where do you draw the line between harmless banter and bullying/abuse? It was interesting to see the different reactions to a seemingly harmless tweet. but he did say they were mates, so id give him the benefit of the doubt here. I think the whole body shaming accusations are a bit cringy and OTT. I think its all to do with intent from the person making such a comment. is it always easy to tell the difference?

Menas

Its a bit too easy to offend people who really want to be offended so they can give out about how offended they are.
Short-ass Sugar should know that.

Kylo Ren

Robsweezie wrote: »

is it always easy to tell the difference?

It's a bit hard at the start as they both have a 'b', but they're totally different after that. That's how I remember anyway.

Fleawuss

The sly bully always hides behind the banter excuse. The difference is the way it's received. We all really know when we're just being slagged and when there's a malice behind it.

Buona Fortuna

That's almost the trouble with Twitter though both of thses two and all their "D" list mates are grandstanding and loving it.

If Sugar (short and obnoxious) wanted to have a joke with Wyatt (Talentless), he should have phoned him up or texted him and said "Saw you on the box, cut out the curry for breakfast ya fat twat."

Job done. No one the wiser. No headlines.

kfallon

Banter is sugarcoated bullying!

osarusan

Banter is when you know the other person will take it in the joking spirit in which it is intended.

Bullying is when you know it will cause hurt.

lazybones32

If what he wrote is bullying or "body-shaming" then I'm going to sue my doctor; she told me I could lose some weight in order to avoid health complications in future.

#she'sjealousofmyfatass

wakka12

If the person is hurt by and feels bad after the interaction then its not banter

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

This isn't rocket science:

If the person you're teasing isn't offended, it's banter.
If the person you're teasing is offended, it's bullying.

If the person you're teasing isn't offended but some other thrid party is, said third party is irrelevant and needs to get a life.

As for "body-shaming" - ffs, if you really feel the need to indulge in this kinda crap, then you also need to get a life.

The Backwards Man

Any time I hear the word 'banter' I automatically think it's just arseholes trying to find a clever way to justify there hateful areholereyness, and I have always be been proved right to date.

If you can't have a bit of craic without being a cnut, give it up.

Banter is wanting to share a laugh with someone; bullying is wanting to make someone feel bad about themselves.

The difference is intent, with the latter sometimes pretending to be the former.

These kind of oversensitive bollix is the reason I avoid Tumblr like the plague.

Strumms

I can have banter or a bit of slagging with friends and certain work colleagues, it depends of the context of the relationship first of all and how and what is said.. With us the slagging and banter goes both ways and both get a laugh at the wit or the lack of it of the stuff we come out with about each other but it's not something that goes on all day or even regularly to be honest, I value a decent conversation more to be but it's nothing that 'crosses a line' or would be overly personal or hurtful. Anyone who isn't a bully and a decent human being will know where this line is by instinct. Bullying is someone who is saying stuff disguised as banter to hurt or belittle and not a situation that goes both ways and there isn't a lighthearted wit to it more of a barbed thinly veiled dig aimed to make the other person feel bad or hurt.

OneOfThem

wakka12 wrote: »

If the person is hurt by and feels bad after the interaction then its not banter

Some people'd be hurt if you blinked too often when talking to them tbh. Bunch of fvcking Jessies running round these days. Bout of crucifixion'd fix them up proper. Nail some sense into the fvckers.

Carlos Orange

Candie wrote: »

Banter is wanting to share a laugh with someone; bullying is wanting to make someone feel bad about themselves.

The difference is intent, with the latter sometimes pretending to be the former.

You could look at it that way but I think it is more useful to look at whether it stops when someone asks and whether there is a pattern in needing to ask. Even with the best of intents people can end up feeling bullied.

psinno

psinno wrote: »

You could look at it that way but I think it is more useful to look at whether it stops when someone asks and whether there is a pattern in needing to ask. Even with the best of intents people can end up feeling bullied.

If a person ends up feeling bullied when the intent is clearly just fun, that's an unreasonable reaction to a well intentioned interaction.

If a person is feeling bullied where the actual intent is to hurt and bully them, thats a reasonable reaction to an intentionally malicious interaction.

It's the whole choosing to be offended thing in action.

If someone persists with hurtful behaviour after being made aware that the other person is uncomfortable, then their intention is to continue causing that discomfort and it is deliberately malicious.

rubadub

Its when the open slagging stops that you should worry, Woodyatt is not particularly fat -and Sugar is not particularly short, I never even knew he was considered short till I read this thread. According to google it seems he is 5'8" and the average UK height is meant to be 5'9", I wonder if 5'10" lads get as much stick for being "lanky fuckers" for similarly being 1" off average.

Reiver

Banter is some British crap. Bullying is an international issue.

hatrickpatrick

We need to segregate the world into the banterous and the banter intolerant. That way those of us who enjoy banter can live our lives free from the perpetually offended ruining our craic, and the perpetually offended can live their lives free from our banter offending them. Everybody wins, except sanity.

I really wish we could return to the late 90s, when if you found something offensive on the internet your one choice for dealing with it was "stop being a f*cking idiot and taking yourself so seriously".

fizzypish

I could rip the piss out of a guy/gal and if he/she is still communicating with me and laughing along or telling me to go **** myself in a non aggressive way then its banter. Otherwise its not banter and not necessarily bullying either. I think banter has to be 2 way traffic.

valoren

Or the horrific #topbantz #AvindaBantz