Not sure if I should say something.

LegacyUser

Hi,

I started seeing a guy a couple of months ago. Everything has been going great, after almost 2 years of very casual dating and generally enjoying the single life he's the first person I've been interested in spending time with. We made it official around 3 weeks ago and went away on our first weekend last weekend.

The issue I'm having is a bedroom one. At the start it was great, very passionate and spontaneous. The last couple of weeks I feel his efforts have been somewhat lacklustre. I've initiated it a good few times, so it's not like I'm sitting around and waiting to be asked but he seems totally happy to fall into bed drunk after nights out and just have a cuddle instead. Which is nice and all but it's not very exciting and it wasn't like that at the beginning. I brought it up in a joking manner at one point over the weekend, like "don't be getting lazy just because we're going steady" and he completely laughed it off.

I guess my question is am I being unreasonable in my expectation that there should always be an element of passion and spontaneity even if you're going out a while? Is this a topic that can be discussed or do couple's just fall into their own rhythm? I'm worried that if I bring it up that it will put him off. I don't want to keep initiating it though in case that puts him off too.

Has anyone else had an experience of this at the start of a new relationship and how did you overcome it?

Thanks!

Confucius say

I was seeing a girl recently for a couple of months and one night I realised I would rather just sleep than have sex with her. Didn't want to the next morning either.I then realised I just didn't really fancy her that way and soon after I ended it. This might not be the case with your guy but to not want to get it on, especially after drinking, that early in the relly would make me question whether he's into you or not. You'll have to try and talk to him and get to the bottom of it.

LegacyUser

You haven't been seeing him a while, it's been a couple of months... If you're not going at it like rabbits at that stage it doesn't bode well at all. Meh to talking about it, it's far too early to get wrapped up in whatever issues he may have, at best he just has a low sex drive which seems to be a deal breaker for you so better ending it now.

Idle Passerby

If its gone luke warm after only a few months it doesn't look good to be honest

Lone Stone

Maybe it's the drink? Have you two usually been drinking before sex? Drinks always makes sleep never bothered with sex if I was any way pissed.

silverbolt

A man's ego is fragile thing, society expects a man to be a sex god, an almighty stallion of virility who leaves his woman sexually on cloud nine and walking like a penguin for a month afterward whilst at the same time men with high sex drives are pests. Go figure.

Its certainly strange that after a couple of months the sex drive has fizzled to such a degree. Ok it usually peters out after the honeymoon period but not that quick.

I think you should deficiently speak about it but in a conversational way not in a "your not meeting your manly duties" kind of way