whats the point of life if you are ugly

garrixfan

I just abandoned a night out because I was at octoberfest and was utterly oblivious to women there, I watched on as guys were pulling, while I just looked on with a look of disgust on my face. I contemplated jumping in the liffey for a split second before bursting out crying, the taxi driver had to console me.

I'm nearly certain I overheard someone adress me as ugly too.

Notavirus.exe

Define ugly.

sidneykidney

Pics or GTFO:D

The Randy Riverbeast

Explains why you get so few matches on tindr. Need to be less of an omega male and more of a beta. No point trying for alpha male.

imurdaddy

Desperation is uglier than any physical features, Women can sense it a mile off and run for the hills! Oh and if you are feeling down or thinking of jumping in the river, it might be a good idea to give the booze a miss and maybe talk to someone you trust friends or family.

Im sure your stressing over nothing and just need to build up confidence in yourself!

starling

Serious answer here, gf, and I'm not a medical professional but it sounds like you're depressed. Please talk to someone. A friend, your GP, a family member.

smellslikeshoes

Hit the gym, you can be borderline deformed and still get laid if you have a nice body.

the evasion_kid

smellslikeshoes wrote: »

Hit the gym, you can be borderline deformed and still get laid if you have a nice body.

This. But don't do it to get the girl,do it for yourself and the rest will come

NachoBusiness

imurdaddy wrote: »

Desperation is uglier than any physical features, Women can sense it a mile off and run for the hills!

Biggest myth going and it helps nobody to keep spreading it. It has caught on like wild fire over the past few years and people just keep posting it. Sure, some unattractive men can come across as desperate, perhaps, but the desperation is not why they are not successful with girls, it's the fact that they are unattractive. As if a woman would see guy, be attracted to him physically but yet suddenly "sense" he is desperate and decide to run for it. Not a hope. It's total rubbish, but I'm sure people will keep regurgitating it all the same.

Not to say that unattractive guys can't do well with women, of course they can, many do.

OP, Google Lizzie Velasquez. People actually made videos about her saying she was the ugliest woman in the world. Her Ted talks are excellent.

PTH2009

Just saw my ex got into a relationship so I could jump in the liffy too and since she left my life went downhill I put on weight due to tablets I was put to supposably fight paranoia and depression but made it worse.

I tend to stay away from dating sites and popular 'pulling' pubs/niteclubs as I feel ugly but I put this behind me by going to gig's, watching matches etc. At a gig no one cares what u look like.

Feel good about life my man sure some rugby players are ugly as sin and still have amazing lives

miroslavklose

NachoBusiness wrote: »

As if a woman would see guy, be attracted to him physically but yet suddenly "sense" he is desperate and decide to run for it.

She doesn't "suddenly 'sense'" it. Desperate people tend to act like they're desperate.

Notavirus.exe

There are more important things about a person than their looks.

That sexy girl/guy across the street could be a serial killer as far as anyone knows.

booooring!

Hookers.

On a more serious note, confidence is key. You'll find someone but just might take a bit longer. Looks isn't everything.

NachoBusiness

Notavirus.exe wrote: »

That sexy girl/guy across the street could be a serial killer as far as anyone knows.

Indeed, Karla Homolka was a babe.

PTH2009

I can't /won't look at photos of myself because of how ugly I feel and photos add more weight to me than I am.

Notavirus.exe

PTH2009 wrote: »

I can't /won't look at photos of myself because of how ugly I feel and photos add more weight to me than I am.

Don't feel bad. I find myself ok looking but I still hate seeing photos of myself, so does almost everyone I know. It's a common thing.

fullstop

Wait, did you not say you're a 7/10 with ~50 matches on tinder over the space of a coupe of days, as well as "LOL at being an average male"? So I'm a bit confused...was this all bravado?

Ellie2008

garrixfan wrote: »

I just abandoned a night out because I was at octoberfest and was utterly oblivious to women there, I watched on as guys were pulling, while I just looked on with a look of disgust on my face. I contemplated jumping in the liffey for a split second before bursting out crying, the taxi driver had to console me.

I'm nearly certain I overheard someone adress me as ugly too.

No jumping in the river!!! I sense you are relatively young, I've got some male friends one in particular who would not be physically attractive at all, during his 20s he chased women something crazy and got a lot of red cards, he s now 33 & married to one of the nicest fun girls I've ever met who is crazy in love with him. Looks matter more when you're younger in my opinion so you might not be scoring all around you now & maybe you'd like to be it doesn't mean you'll be alone for ever. There s more to life then swapping body fluids with complete strangers (a bit gross really when you think about it), get locked, go dancing, have a laugh with your friends!!!

Notavirus.exe

Notavirus.exe wrote: »

Don't feel bad. I find myself ok looking but I still hate seeing photos of myself, so does almost everyone I know. It's a common thing.

Oh and I absolutely hate other people taking photos of me.

cantdecide

I spent my twenties pining about how I never got the girl and I did wonder if life was pointless if I were doomed to be alone lonely. It ruined my self confidence and has had a lasting effect on my attitude to approaching women in social settings in that I simply don't and never will. I'm not especially attractive (although I must have improved with age ) and I don't have and can't feign that instant charm or soundness that you're supposed to have to deserve to get the girl.

I did get to a point where I'd had just too many dashed hopes and false starts. I gave up torturing myself about romance and just started pursuing the things that I'm passionate about and trying to focus on my own story and I must say, that decision lead to the most peaceful and contented year of my life meeting my friends, fooling around with motorbikes, making plans to go places and it was great. I subsequently met a nice lady and had an 18 month relationship that ended over the summer (she broke my heart frankly) but I now know that resuming the fulfilling life I had before her was not such a bitter pill to swallow.

That's the advice I'd give you- go and live the life you want to lead and if you find romance/ love/ sex along the way then happy days and if you don't, learn to love yourself and get on with leading a fulfilling life. Good luck

Wompa1

Women didn't seem to give much of a sh1t about me until I was in my mid 20's. I have friends that got more in their mid 20's and one that start getting women all over the place in his late 20's, early 30's.

You could just become filthy rich or famous. That helps expedite it! :P

inajock

No one will ride ya when your crying.

DareGod

Okay. 99% certain the OP is a troll. View his post history - most of which are him judging people on their looks.

Ellie2008

DareGod wrote: »

Okay. 99% certain the OP is a troll. View his post history - most of which are him judging people on their looks.[

Trolling about suicide? Really?

fullstop

DareGod wrote: »

Okay. 99% certain the OP is a troll. View his post history - most of which are him judging people on their looks.

They look remarkably similar to someone who used to post on here about looks all the time

Detached Retina

You mentioned that you sat all night with a look of disgust on your face. That's likely to be off putting to everyone don't go out with a view that every outing has to be about pulling? why should it be? Go out to enjoy few drinks, chats, others company and maybe other things will come when you're more relaxed.

Mother Brain

fullstop wrote: »

Wait, did you not say you're a 7/10 with ~50 matches on tinder over the space of a coupe of days, as well as "LOL at being an average male"? So I'm a bit confused...was this all bravado?

Much as I would like to keep laying the boot in, the chap does seem fairly upset.

My advice would be to try and stop defining yourself based on your looks or perceived lack thereof. Just take the heat off of wanting a girl so badly. Get comfy in your own skin.

I have a few young friends and it amazes me how much importance they put on having a girlfriend, like you can't be a real person unless you have a partner. It's a really weird generational gap that I don't really understand but how and ever.

I mean if you're out and just focusing on enjoying yourself and having a good time rather than just eyeing up birds all night and such you'll be surprised at the positive energy you give off.

Many times I've been out and been the first one up on the dance floor (I actually love to dance) and having a grand aul bop when before you know it there's a crowd of people around you and everyone's having a laugh and then hey before you know it maybe you're dancing with a girl or going outside for a smoke / chat. Things just happen.

If you're out and prowling around trying to 'suss out' the girls and act cool and all that, you'll generally just come off as being filled with tension or unease then that's never going to be attractive.

Being at ease with yourself. Being able to laugh at yourself etc. These are attractive qualities. Forget about looks.

NachoBusiness

Mother Brain wrote: »

Much as I would like to keep laying the boot in, the chap does seem fairly upset.

Precisely and what winds me up is that immediately it's suggested that it's his fault. Something he is not doing right has resulted in a stranger calling him ugly. Must be sending off those signs of desperation I guess. Jesus.

fullstop

Mother Brain wrote: »

Much as I would like to keep laying the boot in, the chap does seem fairly upset.

My advice would be to try and stop defining yourself based on your looks or perceived lack thereof. Just take the heat off of wanting a girl so badly. Get comfy in your own skin.

I have a few young friends and it amazes me how much importance they put on having a girlfriend, like you can't be a real person unless you have a partner. It's a really weird generational gap that I don't really understand but how and ever.

I mean if you're out and just focusing on enjoying yourself and having a good time rather than just eyeing up birds all night and such you'll be surprised at the positive energy you give off.

Many times I've been out and been the first one up on the dance floor (I actually love to dance) and having a grand aul bop when before you know it there's a crowd of people around you and everyone's having a laugh and then hey before you know it maybe you're dancing with a girl or going outside for a smoke / chat. Things just happen.

If you're out and prowling around trying to 'suss out' the girls and act cool and all that, you'll generally just come off as being filled with tension or unease then that's never going to be attractive.

Being at ease with yourself. Being able to laugh at yourself etc. These are attractive qualities. Forget about looks.

If he genuinely is, then I apologise, but to me it looked like a windup. I was going to write a genuine reply, as life isn't exactly a barrel of roses for me either at the minute - 2 weeks out of a long-term relationship and stuck thousands of miles away from home for a couple of months with nobody to listen to my thoughts but myself - but then another poster pointed out several other posts by the OP describing celebrities and sports people as ugly.

If the OP is genuine, it's something that should pass in time as you start to feel more comfortable in yourself and care less what others think, easier said than done but not impossible. I had a number of relationships that I hung my heart on in my early 20s and got heartbroken every time. I went through a couple of years of having much less interest in women and the less I cared the more I got lucky, so I think there's probably something in that. Just try to enjoy nights out and if you get talking to a girl, so be it, but don't be pushing for something to happen...if it does, it does.

My 2c.

DareGod

Ellie2008 wrote: »

Trolling about suicide? Really?

If trolling about suicide shocks you, you've lived an extremely sheltered internet life. :P

But yes.

miroslavklose

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Okay, she doesn't suddenly sense it then, it's sensed over a period of time.. but it's still bullshit.

Lets say a really good looking guy (think Rob Lowe in his prime) is hold up in his house for six months recovering from back surgery and he finally gets his cast off and goes to a club within a few days. He has blue balls he is so desperate. Are you telling me women will shun him once they sense his desperation? His good looks won't matter in the presence of it? Utter utter bollox.

IMO, The biggest turn off for women is when a man has a lack of choice and nothing sends the message loud and clear that a man lacks choice as guy who is unattractive, and so all that I believe women sense (if indeed they are sensing anything) are guys who come across as if they have limited options. It has little to do with any sense of desperation they may or may not be giving off. I'm not saying that there aren't some guys out there that might come across as "desperate", I'm sure there are, but they would only feel this desperation because women are not attracted to him and they have not been successful, not the other way around. It's the lack of success that quite obviously would have came first.

Ultimately though, this nonsense will keep being spouted as it's much easier to blame these so called signs of desperation that men are giving off, than to just be honest and say that don't find them physically attractive. Not that there aren't many women that are honest in that regard, many are, but just not nearly enough, and for that reason this myth will unfortunately keep on being propagated ad nauseam.

I'm sure conventionally attractive men do have more success, but that's not the point. Women and men respond to more than just looks, which you don't seem to appreciate, and I suspect might say more about your own priorities or personal preferences than "women" or anybody else.

KungPao

DareGod wrote: »

Okay. 99% certain the OP is a troll. View his post history - most of which are him judging people on their looks.

It's that bloody EdenHazard bloke with a new account. Every message is about 'pulling' or Justin Bieber or some other rubbish.

DareGod

All the advice being given, while not valuable for the OP who is 99% definitely a troll, is still valuable for people who may be feeling what is described in the OP. So, no advice that's being given is wasted.

The fact is that humans respond more positively to certain types of facial features than others. Who knows why it's that way, but it is. I'm sure there's some biological explanation or something.

You can't help what you were born with - so, do the best you can with what you have and learn how to be at peace with yourself regardless.

Plenty of people with "stereotypically attractive facial features" (or "good looks" as we are more used to hearing it be referred to) are perfectly happy in life, while others in the same situation are perfectly miserable.

The key to inner peace is NOT what other people think about your face and it never will be. Everyone could think that you're "drop dead gorgeous" and you could still be miserable, regardless of your looks.

So, no, inner peace is not dependent on what others think about your facial features, or on how many people want to have sex with you. Maybe you have created your ego to be dependent on that, but not your peace.

If you're depressed because of how you look, you could get plastic surgery and look a lot "better' but you still won't have achieved inner peace, because you'll still be that person who relies on the opinions of others in order to be "happy."

So, accept that peace will never come from how you look. A temporary ego-boost may, or temporary ecstasy, but not peace.

booooring!

DareGod wrote: »

All the advice being given, while not valuable for the OP who is 99% definitely a troll, is still valuable for people who may be feeling what is described in the OP. So, no advice that's being given is wasted.

The fact is that humans respond more positively to certain types of facial features than others. Who knows why it's that way, but it is. I'm sure there's some biological explanation or something.

You can't help what you were born with - so, do the best you can with what you have and learn how to be at peace with yourself regardless.

Plenty of people with "stereotypically attractive facial features" (or "good looks" as we are more used to hearing it be referred to) are perfectly happy in life, while others in the same situation are perfectly miserable.

The key to inner peace is NOT what other people think about your face and it never will be. Everyone could think that you're "drop dead gorgeous" and you could still be miserable, regardless of your looks.

So, no, inner peace is not dependent on what others think about your facial features, or on how many people want to have sex with you. Maybe your ego is dependent on that, but not your peace.

If you're depressed because of how you look, you could get plastic surgery and look a lot "better' but you still won't have achieved inner peace, because you'll still be that person who relies on the opinions of others in order to be happy.

So, accept that peace will never come from how you look. A temporary ego-boost may, or temporary ecstasy, but not peace.

That usually makes me feel better!

NachoBusiness

miroslavklose wrote: »

I'm sure conventionally attractive men do have more success, but that's not the point. Women and men respond to more than just looks, which you don't seem to appreciate, and I suspect might say more about your own priorities or personal preferences than "women" or anybody else.

What are you talking about? I never said attraction was just about looks. Of course it isn't. All I am saying is that desperation has become a meaningless buzz word. Whenever any guy says he struggles to get anywhere with women, people fall all over themselves to be the first to post on a thread and waffle on about how they must be coming across as desperate. Not just women. Men say it too. Sure you said it yourself that men and women are attracted to each other for many reasons. Why you think this truism is a defense for the overuse of the term being discussed though, I don't know, but it isn't.

My ex g/f had loads of friends that would use the term all the God damn time whenever they were out with us. They would talk about this man and that man being desperate and it would really just boil down to the fact that they weren't attracted to them or didn't particularity like them for one reason or another. I caved one night and asked one of them why they had just said that a guy was desperate as he seemed fine to me and her reply was: "Oh, he just is, look at his shoes for a start, eeww, no, just no". This is the kinda of crap I mean. The term is now just being used as means of putting a guy down and there is generally little or no genuine reason for labeling them as being "desperate" at all.

Again, I accept that there are some men who might go from one girl to the next and behave desperately and sure, of course this may turn some women off, but there is no way that such men are sooo common that it would explain the overuse of this term to the point which it is at today. It's just a fashionable easy out. If and when women say they struggle to meet men when out, nobody suggests they must be coming across as desperate and so I don't see why men should have to put up with that crap either.

miroslavklose

NachoBusiness wrote: »

What are you talking about? I never said attraction was just about looks. Of course it isn't. All I am saying is that desperation has become a meaningless buzz word. Whenever any guy says he struggles to get anywhere with women, people fall all over themselves to be the first to post on a thread and waffle on about how they must be coming across as desperate. Not just women. Men say it too. Sure you said it yourself that men and women are attracted to each other for many reasons. Why you think this truism is a defense for the overuse of the term being discussed though, I don't know, but it isn't.

My ex g/f had loads of friends that would use the term all the God damn time whenever they were out with us. They would talk about this man and that man being desperate and it would really just boil down to the fact that they weren't attracted to them or didn't particularity like them for one reason or another. I caved one night and asked one of them why they had just said that a guy was desperate as he seemed fine to me and her reply was: "Oh, he just is, look at his shoes for a start, eeww, no, just no". This is the kinda of crap I mean. The term is now just being used as means of putting a guy down and there is generally little or no genuine reason for labeling them as being "desperate" at all.

Again, I accept that there are some men who might go from one girl to the next and behave desperately and sure, of course this may turn some women off, but there is no way that such men are sooo common that it would explain the overuse of this term to the point which it is at today. It's just a fashionable easy out. If and when women say they struggle to meet men when out, nobody suggests they must be coming across as desperate and so I don't see why men should have to put up with that crap either.

I don't know anything about the overuse of the term.

I was responding to a specific comment you made and said desperation is an intangible thing that's perceived rather than merely "suddenly" realised.

And yeah, you didn't say attraction was all about looks, but looks is all you've talked about here.

gazzamc

Why not just go out to have a laugh with your mates and forget about trying to pull? Usually when you over think **** you get paroniod and mess up any opportunities you may get... Just go out and have fun, forget about trying to pull and just talk to people like you would your mates, meet new people and who knows what might happen.

OP, sounds like you need the help that this site can't give, from bragging about your connections with women on some dating site to this in a few days is some swing. If you're not taking the mick, get help. If you are taking the mick, get help.

CB19Kevo

garrixfan wrote: »

I just abandoned a night out because I was at octoberfest and was utterly oblivious to women there, I watched on as guys were pulling, while I just looked on with a look of disgust on my face. I contemplated jumping in the liffey for a split second before bursting out crying, the taxi driver had to console me.

I'm nearly certain I overheard someone adress me as ugly too.

Reality is that we all cant look as desirable as others,However if we want we can improve image, Be it from haircut,fitness,plastic surgery or just new good fitting clothing.

People are going to be judgmental but Women not giving you attention is not the end of the world,many are in the same boat.
My advice is try and better yourself for yourself,Make the right friends and be comfortable in yourself,Easier said than done but might as well aim high.

Ignatius in bloom

You're taken a chance with the liffey, it may reject you too.

Ignatius in bloom

But on a serious note, one thing, attitude! Its goes further than looks and it never fades.

garrixfan

garrixfan wrote: »

whats the point of life if you are ugly

It has not held me back much - so it can not be that much of a problem

Sounds like a few changes in focus would work well for you.

strelok

here we go, pick up artists versus the feminists round 219.

3

2

1
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GO

starling

Ignatius in bloom wrote: »

But on a serious note, one thing, attitude! Its goes further than looks and it never fades.

Exactly, how you make people feel is always going to be more important than what you look like.

LuckyLloyd

cantdecide wrote: »

I spent my twenties pining about how I never got the girl and I did wonder if life was pointless if I were doomed to be alone lonely. It ruined my self confidence and has had a lasting effect on my attitude to approaching women in social settings in that I simply don't and never will. I'm not especially attractive (although I must have improved with age ) and I don't have and can't feign that instant charm or soundness that you're supposed to have to deserve to get the girl.

I did get to a point where I'd had just too many dashed hopes and false starts. I gave up torturing myself about romance and just started pursuing the things that I'm passionate about and trying to focus on my own story and I must say, that decision lead to the most peaceful and contented year of my life meeting my friends, fooling around with motorbikes, making plans to go places and it was great. I subsequently met a nice lady and had an 18 month relationship that ended over the summer (she broke my heart frankly) but I now know that resuming the fulfilling life I had before her was not such a bitter pill to swallow.

That's the advice I'd give you- go and live the life you want to lead and if you find romance/ love/ sex along the way then happy days and if you don't, learn to love yourself and get on with leading a fulfilling life. Good luck

Good post that imo.

starling

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Biggest myth going and it helps nobody to keep spreading it. It has caught on like wild fire over the past few years and people just keep posting it. Sure, some unattractive men can come across as desperate, perhaps, but the desperation is not why they are not successful with girls, it's the fact that they are unattractive. As if a woman would see guy, be attracted to him physically but yet suddenly "sense" he is desperate and decide to run for it. Not a hope. It's total rubbish, but I'm sure people will keep regurgitating it all the same.

Not to say that unattractive guys can't do well with women, of course they can, many do.

OP, Google Lizzie Velasquez. People actually made videos about her saying she was the ugliest woman in the world. Her Ted talks are excellent.

I agree with almost everything you said in this thread so far, except for one or two tiny details and obviously I can't share your apparent anger about it. But yeah, the "desperation" thing is a myth and I think some of the credit for popularising it must go to the PUA crowd.

If your car is a banger but I only know how to paint cars and not actually fix them, how do I get your money? By convincing you that go-faster stripes will make your POS into a Ferrari. And that there's a special rate going, but for a limited time only.

And yeah Lizzie Velasquez is brilliant.

Edit: Neediness is not attractive though, I think some people say "desperation" when they're really talking about neediness.

OP, in your other tinder thread you spoke about how you were a 7/10 and you LOLd at ugly men.

You know we notice these things, right?

Don't troll this forum again please.