Your worst start to a morning?

TallGlass

Well, its not the end of the world but what a morning! I wouldn't mind I actually visualized it happening before bed last night. I'm using the oul lads car, he doesn't drive that much, so I said to myself last night, I bet the battery won't start the car in the morning.

And cut to 4:45 this morning, the car wouldn't start ! Meant to be in work at 5am only person to open up. Decided to try push start the car, theirs a bit of a hill. Pushing a Fiesta up a slight hill by myself, what a job. They must be the fat little ****s of the car world.

Anyway, after the first attempt, I tried to start and it was to little for it to catch into gear. Second attempt I got the speed and hit the pheking breaking and not the clutch for the gear change. Third attempt, I was golden and off she went. Only to be then low on petrol !

What a start to the morning, off to a funeral now in a few hours !

Kazooie

In the cold snap there a few years ago heading to work and not fully awake I guess. Opened the back door, stepped out slipped on the ice and landed heavily on me hip. God lord the pain. Cue the auld lad bustin his hole laughing as he was out in the shed smoking a cigarette and saw my graceful tumble.

Full.Duck

Was bringing the bins out bare footed. Stood on a slug. Slug all stuck to my foot. Hopping back into the house to wash my foot i hopped into dog sh1te. Followed by myself puking everywhere. I can still feel the warmth seep between my toes.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

Flippyfloppy

I just want to point out that you probably should have pushed it down the hill for the jumpstart...

TallGlass

Flippyfloppy wrote: »

I just want to point out that you probably should have pushed it down the hill for the jumpstart...

Had to push it up to push it down the hill. I felt the burn !

I really have to start heading the gym getting so unfit.

haveringchick

Any morning my teenager hasn't had enough beauty sleep

Whitewinged

A couple of years ago, it was snowing. I was on the way to work. Got off the train and was stepping off a path when i slipped on the ice. Heard a huge sigh of "oooooh" and "ow" from passer byes. Went to lift myself up and slipped again. Broke my arm.

Junkyard Tom

The early morning of September 1st. It was bitterly cold - there was a menacing chill in the air. I was just beginning my daily duties when I heard the drone of engines over head. It had begun. We knew it was coming. The Wehrmacht had been gearing up for weeks just across the border on the other side of the valley. Poland was overrun in just over a month. That was only the beginning.

mad muffin

Any morning I have to wake up is a bad morning…

whiskeyman

The ring came off my pudding can...

PARlance

Full.Duck wrote: »

Was bringing the bins out bare footed. Stood on a slug. Slug all stuck to my foot. Hopping back into the house to wash my foot i hopped into dog sh1te. Followed by myself puking everywhere. I can still feel the warmth seep between my toes.

Brings a new meaning to feeling sluggish / a bit sh1te in the morning.

SEPT 23 1989

Korean lad tried to overcharge me for a can of coke

whiskeyman

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Korean lad tried to overcharge me for a can of coke

Times are tough for Seoul traders...

WoollyRedHat

First morning of school and my coat got massively entangled in the chain and spokes of my wheel. Spent the next 30 mins with this mother and her daughter who was around same age trying to help me untangle. Not the best start to secondary.

podgemonster

Wake up after a terrible nights sleep. Pack office clothes into backpack, put on cycling gear. On my cycle to work, rushing for a once off early morning meeting, I hear is air seeping out of my front tyre, look down, puncture!

Start walking as it starts to rain. Get absolutely soaked. Arrive late for work, spend another 10 minutes trying to dry my trousers that were in my backpack on the hair-dryer in the changing rooms. Rummage in my bag for my shirt. Realize i didn't pack it. Panic! Head into locker room, find a selection of shirts hanging owned by other staff. Find one that kinda fits, puts it on. Shirt stinks of BO, head into meeting 45 mins late. Colleague compliments me on colour of shirt as it suits me.

ColeTrain

Hopped out of bed this morning and fell into a giant sinkhole. Luckily I had a spare ladder in my back pocket.

Kablamo!

Found my aul lad dead on the couch.

Penn

When I was about 12, my sister ran into my room, started jumping up and down on my bed, shouted "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! Mam says you have to get up for Mass. And Princess Diana is dead" and then ran out of the room.

To this day, it's still the most confused I've ever been.

Reiver

whiskeyman wrote: »

The ring came off my pudding can...

Take my penknife my good man.

Menas

Woke up one morning with my dad standing in the room calling me a disgrace and a shame to the family and generally ranting and raving.

As he left I still had no idea what he was on about until I got up and found half a hamburger stuck to the back of my head. Musta been a good night.

wp_rathead

Meaning to hit snooze on alarm but accidentally turning it off

Waking up and thinking its Saturday on a work day

ElWalrus

Decided to have a shower using the one attached to the bath instead of the shower in the ensuite so I didn't wake herself. Stepped on the bath mat to get out (unbeknownst to me all the suction pads had come off)...cue the bathmat going out from under me like a skateboard and me smacking my head off the corner of the bath. Missus runs into bathroom, after a burst of load expletives from me, to see me lying there naked with blood all over the bathroom. Luckily wasn't concussed (or worse) but had a nasty gash on my head which required stitches and €100 from the local injuries unit. So yeah, all in all, a great morning.

The Dogs Bollix

Waking up the past three weeks in the middle of the night with a painful back.

Broken sleep is a bitch.

Alkers

Ringing in sick while hungover / waking up drunk despite not being on the roster!

sbsquarepants

whiskeyman wrote: »

The ring came off my pudding can...

Pardon my ignorance, but what the fúck is a pudding can?

This Fat Girl Runs

Waking up on a weekday and thinking it's Saturday.

cowboyBuilder

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Korean lad tried to overcharge me for a can of coke

Thanks for reminding me of that !!

Son Of A Vidic

Full.Duck wrote: »

Was bringing the bins out bare footed. Stood on a slug. Slug all stuck to my foot. Hopping back into the house to wash my foot i hopped into dog sh1te. Followed by myself puking everywhere. I can still feel the warmth seep between my toes.

I suspect someone is probably using a voodoo doll to target you.

Boom_Bap

Waking up to a knocking on the door.
Start to rumble downstairs.
The person at the door has noticed the movement in the window.
Realise you are fully torqued with morning wood.
Slink back upstairs in hope the rager will subside.
It doesn't.
The postman with the package you have been waiting on nervously slips the 'You weren't here' docket through the letter box.
Postman goes on about their business.
Erection last for another 12 minutes until you out of nowhere visualise your grandmothers boobs.

sebcity

I was in Krakow on a stag.
Woke up on the tile floor of a hallway of an apartment block on my back with blood all over my face. I was 8 km from where we were the night before. No idea what happened.

Sunnyisland

Living in portugal woke up one morning in the back of my van across the border in Spain. .haven't a clue how or why i was there.

Samsgirl

Puked on by my 4yr old this morn.

Stheno

Got a blow out on the way to a customer down the country.

Couldn't get the nuts off the wheel to change it.
Had to wait an hour for recovery man

Was three hours late getting to the customer

Teyla Emmagan

I was staying up with my Granny, who was sick. She tried to get out of the bed and fell, and when we didn't hear her calling pressed her panic booking. Myself and my sister woke up to the sound of a man's voice shouting in the hall downstairs. "HELLO, HELLO, IS THERE ANYBODY THERE?". We shocked awake and then realised we heard Granny over him. I ran downstairs, the man is still screaming. I put my foot into a warm lump of dog sh*te at the bottom of the stairs. Granny is lying on the floor of her room, crying. We are trying to lift her into the bed (she's a dead weight) and my foot keeps slipping on the floor because of the dog ****, which you can now smell everywhere, and the man is still screaming in the hallway "ANSWER ME, ARE YOU THERE?". Finally got her back into bed and then found the button to let the man know we were all okay. I just had no idea what was happening for about five minutes. Really bad start to a day.

Eph1958

Full.Duck wrote: »

Was bringing the bins out bare footed. Stood on a slug. Slug all stuck to my foot. Hopping back into the house to wash my foot i hopped into dog sh1te. Followed by myself puking everywhere. I can still feel the warmth seep between my toes.

Copyright these few sentences......funniest thing I've heard in years.

MilesMorales1

I was up all night cleaning up this party someone had (god knows why I did that) and it was like half 5 in the morning and I was finally done and ready to leave to have a cigarette and go home and ****, somehow trip and cut my face and my hands really bad on glass, needed stitches.

chillin117

Running late, Out to the car.....A Puncture...