Help i need relationship advice!

Ciara M26

Hey guys I'm a 25 year old girl who's been very unlucky in love and ive never met someone I've really felt comfortable with and clicked with untill now except for one problem... He's 19 😵 meaning there's a 6 year age gap however this guy has been through a lot and therefore is a lot more mature he's not like other guys, I feel comfortable around him I really like him and really fancy him but I feel if I pursue him people will talk is a 6 year age gap really weird or disgusting? Help!

Specialun

Ffs

6 years is nothing

Youve one shot on this planet..grab any bit of happiness you can before your old

Just do it..dont look bk and invite us all to the wedding

Junkyard Tom

Have you considered cocooning yourself in duct tape?

Peregrine

OP, I've moved this from AH to Relationship Issues where you'll get better responses.

Please read the local charter. Thanks.

Edit: And I don't think 6 years is an issue as long as he's mature.

Ciara M26

Thanks guys I just feel because he's got an older brother my age it makes it a little worse I think I'm just too afraid of what others will say though guess others opinions is holding me back 🙈

Stheno

My boyfriend is ten years older than me and has kids, we've worked out fine, coming up on 7 years now

bilbot79

I saw a video on Facebook today of a 92 year old man singing to his dying 73 year old wife. You're grand with your 6 years

Meauldsegosha

Ciara M26 wrote: »

I feel comfortable around him I really like him and really fancy him

This is what is important ^^
This is not. vv

Ciara M26 wrote: »

people will talk is a 6 year age gap really weird or disgusting? Help!

Go for it OP. It's not weird or disgusting. Enjoy.

Ciara M26

Stheno wrote: »

My boyfriend is ten years older than me and has kids, we've worked out fine, coming up on 7 years now

I suppose so but I just think it's not so bad if the guy is older? It just sucks cuz I really like him but feel as though people will judge me if we were to get together

ManOfMystery

Ciara M26 wrote: »

I suppose so but I just think it's not so bad if the guy is older? It just sucks cuz I really like him but feel as though people will judge me if we were to get together

One of the best life lessons I ever learnt (the hard way, unfortunately) was to stop giving a f**k what other people think.

The world is full of people, and they all have their own opinions on everything. And no 2 people will have identical views. So no matter what you do in life, there is always going to be someone who approves and someone who disapproves, for whatever reason.

Live your life for yourself, and not the way you think others would like you to live it. Stop worrying what anyone else thinks - it's not their life, and neither is it their business. If you like a younger guy and he makes you happy, what does the age difference matter? It's only a number.

HalloweenJack

Clearly, it is a deal for you, you keep mentioning it, you use the words "weird" and "disgusting" to describe it and you feel like you people are going to judge you. I get the the impression you want someone to tell you it IS a big deal and that way you'll be able to feel justified in your opinion.

Personally, I don't think it's a big deal. You said yourself he's very mature for his age so why not give it a go?

Unfortunately, I feel like you already have it ingrained in your head that it's a bad idea for a girl to be the older one in a relationship and if you can't get past this, it's never going to work.

njs030

I'm 4 years older than my boyfriend. Occasionally he jokes about older women and I call him a toyboy......that's about the extent the age matters to us or is commented on. Most of the time I forget he's younger!

If you have similar outlooks on life then give it a go, other people's opinions shouldn't matter.

Rekop dog

Personally think a six year gap between 19 and 25 is a lot different from say 24 to 30. Obviously there's plenty of mature 19 year olds and immature older people but you're still basically a child at that age and usually someone in their mid twenties is on a completely different wavelength.

CaraMay

bilbot79 wrote: »

I saw a video on Facebook today of a 92 year old man singing to his dying 73 year old wife. You're grand with your 6 years

His wife of 73 ie they were married for 73 years

Op there's a huge difference between your ages in maturity levels. There's something icky about it. Please don't pursue him.

ManOfMystery

CaraMay wrote: »

His wife of 73 ie they were married for 73 years

Op there's a huge difference between your ages in maturity levels. There's something icky about it. Please don't pursue him.

Man = 92
Wife = 73

I don't think they got married when she was a newborn.

There's nothing 'icky' about this, we're not talking about a 45yr old woman chasing a young teenage male like some sick-minded kind of cougar. Late teens hanging out with someone in their early-mid twenties is not that hard to stomach, and it's that kind of narrowminded thinking which is making the OP base her decisions on what others would judge, rather than following her heart and going with what she actually wants.

Riskymove

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Man = 92
Wife = 73

Man = 92

they are married for 73 years

So Wife is not 73 but older

ManOfMystery

bilbot79 wrote: »

I saw a video on Facebook today of a 92 year old man singing to his dying 73 year old wife

Anyway. It doesn't really matter, the point I was making is that a minimal age difference is hardly 'icky'.

CaraMay

Exactly it's his wide of 73 years not 73 but back on topic now

ShaShaBear

The only issue here is that if you decide in 3 or 4 years that you want to settle down and have kids, he might be deciding that he has plenty of time left and wants to slow it down. When he is 25, you'll be 31 and in your final stretch of good years for having a family.

But if it's just romance and fun you wan't, I wouldn't care.

njs030

ShaShaBear wrote: »

The only issue here is that if you decide in 3 or 4 years that you want to settle down and have kids, he might be deciding that he has plenty of time left and wants to slow it down. When he is 25, you'll be 31 and in your final stretch of good years for having a family.

But if it's just romance and fun you wan't, I wouldn't care.

31? Don't be ridiculous many women safely have children right up to their 40's.

Tasden

If ye are at similar points in your life (college, working) then I'd say it'd work. If he's still in his first year of college, going out most nights, while you're in a steady 9-5 for example then it might not. Less about age and more just about where you are in life imo.

ShaShaBear

notjustsweet wrote: »

31? Don't be ridiculous many women safely have children right up to their 40's.

I didn't say final year - I said final stretch.

Plenty of people smoke their whole lives and don't get cancer, but that doesn't make it safe.

Tyson23

Would u guys have a icky problem if say the GIRL was 19 and the MAN was 35??

Tasden

Tyson23 wrote: »

Would u guys have a icky problem if say the GIRL was 19 and the MAN was 35??

35 or 25?

njs030

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I didn't say final year - I said final stretch.

Plenty of people smoke their whole lives and don't get cancer, but that doesn't make it safe.

And I said it's not the final stretch. Saying 31 is close to the end of childbearing years and comparing that to smoking is a massive reach!!

Anyway it's massively off topic,op is more concerned with other people's opinions than children.

Tyson23

Tasden wrote: »

35 or 25?

35

florawest

Give it a go, you don't want any regrets, it totally depends on the couple and life is to short to be fretting over what people think and say, chances are they will be jealous, live your life and he may be the one and then again maybe not, good luck

LegacyUser

Tyson23 wrote: »

35

Yea that is weird.
Back to the point, the relationship is fine as long as you both are aware that the age difference may not seem to cause that much difference now between you as you're both so young..but it may become an issue when as another poster says it comes to settling down etc..if that's what you want and if you get serious. I'm not sure that when he's 24 he will want to at that age, while you may begin wanting all that stuff at 30 or even well before. Most early/mid 20 somethings are still figuring themselves out and may want to travel and not settle down til their 30s. If I'm wrong and that's not what you want and just want fun, or if you think he will want to settle down with mortgage,kids and all that so young then by all means go for it.

Tyson23

cantthinkofone_123 wrote: »

Yea that is weird.
Back to the point, the relationship is fine as long as you both are aware that the age difference may not seem to cause that much difference now between you as you're both so young..but it may become an issue when as another poster says it comes to settling down etc..if that's what you want and if you get serious. I'm not sure that when he's 24 he will want to at that age, while you may begin wanting all that stuff at 30 or even well before. Most early/mid 20 somethings are still figuring themselves out and may want to travel and not settle down til their 30s. If I'm wrong and that's not what you want and just want fun, or if you think he will want to settle down with mortgage,kids and all that so young then by all means go for it.

Why do u think its weird if u dont mind me asking?

Ciara M26

Hey guys thanks for all the positive feedback I really appreciate it I have decided to just go with the flow and see what happens and if it feels right I will trust my gut instinct. He's in college I've just finished and work part time we have the same interests and the same hobbies. In regards to you who say down the line kids ect could be a problem personally I don't think that far ahead as I'm a live for the moment type person ðŸ˜႒. Also I don't think I want children I don't see it in my future or anytime soon I want a life of what I want nice holidays party's ect and to come and go as I please as of now kids ain't part of my plan ðŸ˜႒ so that shouldn't be a problem 😉