Dating - now friends

LegacyUser

I was seeing this guy briefly l year.It wasn't serious.
We have remained friends and had ups and downs.

He has a lot of female friends.I was insecure about that when we seeing each other.


Anyway, we shared a bed at weekend and although no sex, there was kissing

I didn't want sex.He was telling me that he wanted to etc and that he is physically attracted to me and not the others and that's why he doesn't try with others.
Is this him trying to get into my knickers or could he be telling the truth?

I def don't want to sleep with him again and I'm wondering should we have messed about.I have no feelings for him or vice versa.

He has a v close female friend that he says he is not interested in cos she has 3 kids and also lives about 3.5 hrs away.Always brings her up.I told him I think he really likes her but says he doesn't and not physically attracted.He described her as overweight.
He talks about both male and female friends all the time really.

He is a good friend to me but I just don't want to be used. He is a good friend to loads of people.

I hope this makes sense.

Merkin

I've deleted your other thread which would be more suitable for a blog. Please try and get to the point when posting again as you'll get more helpful responses then. Thanks.

Katgurl

You don't want to sleep with Him and you have no feelings for him. What exactly is your dilemma? Should you have fooled around with him? Do you feel bad about it? Will you if you see him with another woman? Either way, it's done now so no point regretting it. If you're wondering should you do it again I would say no if you're telling the truth about not having feelings and not wanting to sleep with him.

I suspect you're not telling the truth about your own feelings or why would you be posting about it? When you say it wasn't serious was that by his design or yours? If you felt you could trust him and feel secure in his interest in only you then would you want to be with him?

LegacyUser

I don't feel bad about it.I wasn't going to do anything but then in the moment I did.
I thought to myself, I'm single sure why not.I know if I had slept with him.I would have felt bad as I need to have feelings for that.

I have zero romantic feelings for him.We are not compatible that way.
No, I wouldn't want to be with him if only interest in me.



Basically I fooled around with him, but because I don't have those feelings for him we shouldn't have? Is that what you are saying?

LegacyUser

Bridge12 wrote: »

I hope this makes sense.

Not to me it doesn't. There is no question in your post that I can see, no relationship to seek advice on, no feelings involved, little or no attraction on your part, you don't want to spend another night with him and you suspect he's just trying to get the ride, a suspicion I agree with. So what are you even asking about? What could people here say to you? There's nothing to see here, don't waste any more time on this non-existent "relationship", go out and meet people and maybe you'll find someone you actually do want to start something with.

osarusan

I don't see the issue here, regardless of whether or not he has feelings for you or not.

According to you, you have no feelings for him - 'zero romantic feelings'. You don't want to sleep with him.

So isn't that pretty much how things stand?

Or do you actually want a relationship with him, but are just not sure what his intentions are?

Merkin

Bridge12 wrote: »

I don't feel bad about it.I wasn't going to do anything but then in the moment I did.
I thought to myself, I'm single sure why not.I know if I had slept with him.I would have felt bad as I need to have feelings for that.

I have zero romantic feelings for him.We are not compatible that way.
No, I wouldn't want to be with him if only interest in me.



Basically I fooled around with him, but because I don't have those feelings for him we shouldn't have? Is that what you are saying?

Look, you don't even seem to know what the issue is yourself so rather than waste everyone's time I am going to close the thread. Feel free to post again if you have any specific issue that needs addressing.