Really strong feelings for a taken girl.

Silver Hulk

Im a 21 year old guy and I find myself with really strong feelings for a girl who has a boyfriend.

I developed these feelings over July and August when I was working with her.....we were spending long shifts together and we got to know each other so well and just get on brilliantly. If she hadn't a BF already I think we would be dating by now.

She is just so perfect to me.....she is smart, beautiful, funny, caring, classy and just an all round beautiful woman.
Some of my female friends say it sounds like im in love with her but me never having been in love before am sceptical this is the situation.

Her BF doesnt treat her brilliantly and some of the other ladies at work feel that she is whipped.
It hurts to see them together being honest.
I can't interfere in their relationship because I dont feel that is right.

There is actually another girl at work that I get on well with and have feelings for but I feel guilty asking her out due to my feelings for the other girl.

At the moment my head is all over the place.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks.

Huntergonzo

Ah look the grass is alway greener from the other side, don't make this situation messy for yourself, just stay clear.

IlmoNT4

Stay clear of everyone at work, full stop.

Silver Hulk

loulou2009 wrote:

Stay clear of everyone at work, full stop.

It was a summer job. Back to college now.

IlmoNT4

no harm, no foul...

Have a good time at college, focus on yourself and everything will fall into place when its ready

Silver Hulk

loulou2009 wrote: »

no harm, no foul...

Have a good time at college, focus on yourself and everything will fall into place when its ready

Thank you for your reply.
Atm I am actually missing her like crazy.......I just want to spend time with her.

kylith

She's with someone else; if you say anything you could throw a spanner in the works of her relationship and ruin any friendship you have with her.

If you can't stand to see her with someone else then back off and try forget about her. They may split up in the future and you can test the waters then, but I wouldn't recommend hanging around in the hope that happens.

OneOfThem

Yeah... every guy ever ever that is mooching after someone else's girlfriend is always of the opinion that "Her BF doesn't treat her brilliantly". Obviously she's of a different opinion.

You're only 21 man, you're romantic life is really only going to start properly kicking off around now, by the time you're 25 you'll have met another 10-20 girls that you think "She is just so perfect to me.....she is smart, beautiful, funny, caring, classy and just an all round beautiful woman" about. Some of them will even be single, and as such, pursuing them will be less pointless, less messy, and less likely to get you a kick upside the head. So better to just keep your eyes out for those one's instead.

LegacyUser

I'll disagree with the previous posters & suggest you talk to her openly about your feelings? It is true that women are sometimes in dead- end relationships but feel they can't leave because noone else wants them and all in all just have nowhere to go.

While I'm not saying she'll reciprocate, this might give her the confidence boost to leave the current unhealthy relationship.

LegacyUser

unansimilar wrote: »

I'll disagree with the previous posters & suggest you talk to her openly about your feelings? It is true that women are sometimes in dead- end relationships but feel they can't leave because noone else wants them and all in all just have nowhere to go.

While I'm not saying she'll reciprocate, this might give her the confidence boost to leave the current unhealthy relationship.

I agree with this big time
A very good friend of mine is now married to the girl who was going out with another lad when they first met
Like the op,they met working together and clicked
He had the conversation with her,there was a bit of persuasion as dumping a bf isn't easy and they are now together 10 years

So OP do it! And best of luck,if you don't you'll never know

As for the 'she has a bf' bit,that's nonsense
If she goes with you and leaves him,you're doing him a favour too
It's not a case of 'oh she'll do that on you' It's a case of whatever's meant to be will be

Exclamation Marc

From experience of friends in similar situations, it's best to steer clear She's with the guy for a reason. You'll always hear outsiders say that s/he could do better etc etc, but realistically nobody knows the dynamic of their relationship. And people in relationships will moan first about their other halves before they praise them, so outsiders generally have a skewed opinion..

Go for it if you want, but the odds are that you'll burn a bridge. More likely than not she'll stay with him seeing as you don't know her that long. Wait it out and if it's meant to be, you might get a chance down the line.

You are only 21 though, enjoy yourself, I was wrapped up in a relationship at that age that didn't work out and I wish I just enjoyed the single and fun life!

beertons

She's taken. Move on.

Augme

unansimilar wrote: »

I'll disagree with the previous posters & suggest you talk to her openly about your feelings? It is true that women are sometimes in dead- end relationships but feel they can't leave because noone else wants them and all in all just have nowhere to go.

The problem is these type of women are best avoided. Low self-esteem is not a nice trait in a person and getting into a relationship with someone like that can be a disaster.