Online vs real life

LegacyUser

I set p a Tinder 3 days ago and I have 153 matches(and this is with swiping conservatively. I have friends who I consider attractive men get way way less and they swipe on everyone

So 153 matches with plenty of hot girls bt irl I barely get any stares or signs of interest. Its really confusing to me. Sometimes I get socially anxious becoz I feel INVISIBLE. My ego on one hand is inflated bt then in the real world its a whole different ballgame. What gives?

Penny Tration

What gives?

Well, it's quick and easy to swipe to say you like the look of someone!

Lots of matches on tinder is cool, means people find you fairly attractive. it doesn't correspond to dates, though.

Out of all of these matches, have you actually messaged any of them?

conor8989

just a question would you go out with a guy who approached you in a supermarket and asked you out if you were single

Potatoeman

The most attractive will always get the most attention. You just need to approach people, talk to them and see if they are interested. The tinder thing is just a gauge to see if someone is attracted to you before you message them.

Mr. Incognito

Tinder is full of fake profiles.

Try real life

freshpopcorn

I joined tinder before. Sometimes people judge it on looks and others swipe right to everything.
Unless your willing to start conversations with your matches with in a short period of being matched it's kind of pointless.

LegacyUser

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I joined tinder before. Sometimes people judge it on looks and others swipe right to everything.
Unless your willing to start conversations with your matches with in a short period of being matched it's kind of pointless.

I get many girls messaging me saying 'omg so hot' but I don't bother replying becoz I had a Tinder experience before and I'm not there to just hook up, everyone on Tinder is curaaazy from stories I've heard.
As I said the amount of matches I've got in such a short time period and quality of matches(in general)( sometimes I swipe yes to people because I think they look nice so want to give them validation, not date/meet up/bang them) indicates that I'm pretty good looking, however irl this does not manifest itself.
I had one girl approach me a few years ago saying 'you are incredible looking' but that is the only time I've been cold approached in my LIFE!
One thing is that I'm 5 foot 8 so perhaps irl height plays a part, whereas on Tinder its all about the face.

LegacyUser

I guess I just use Tinder for validation/ego boost to take me through the day because a lot of my thinking focuses on my looks

Problem is that more often than not people simply swipe everybody, so it's not necessarily a case that they find you attractive. A good indication would be the number that actually make the effort and contact you.

desbrook

What gives is that a satisfying relationship with ONE person in real life is the greatest ego boost out there. As you are discovering a hundred people saying you are attractive on an app means little.
If you do meet someone you find attractive IRL ask them questions. Be interested and remember stuff. It's very easy to just focus on selling yourself and telling the girl how cool you are. Don't. Sure use modern technology to locate potential matches but nothing beats old fashioned attraction.