Regret adopting rescue dog.

LegacyUser

I have two old dogs already, one of whom is extremely elderly and disabled. I've been dreading the day when she dies, so decided to adopt another dog so I wouldn't be too devastated and depressed when it happens. I applied to a rescue centre and they let me adopt a 7 year old ex-breeding dog from a puppy farm who they said was quiet and timid and needs a quiet home with quiet dogs.

She is absolutely adorable but unfortunately she's nothing like described. She is absolutely bursting with energy, extremely boisterous and requires constant attention. The main problem is that she is bullying my elderly dog. She herds her around, crashes into her, herds her into corners and traps her there, won't let her drink or get on her bed. We told this to the rescue centre who gave us some training tips, but they aren't helping. I'm worried about the welfare of my elderly dog and don't want her to suffer in her final year of life.

Another problem is that her foster carers had allowed her to sleep in bed with them and now she is determined to do the same here, although we don't allow dogs upstairs. We have a baby gate on the stairs which has prevented our other dogs getting upstairs but this new one crashes against it repeatedly until it gets knocked down and then goes upstairs. (This is a big problem due to the dog weeing and pooing indoors and also being extremely bad-smelling despite being clipped and having numerous baths.) This means that every night before bed we have to barricade the stairs with loads of junk to block her path, and then climb over it all to go to bed.

Another problem is that I haven't had a decent night's sleep since she's been here and I am absolutely exhausted. She often spends the night barking at the other dogs, which sets them off, and she starts them off barking again if I don't come down early enough in the morning (which in her opinion is about 4.30am.) Also if I don't come down before 5am she poos and wees absolutely everywhere. She's done this in one spot so much the floor is now damaged. I don't usually get up so early and it is wearing me out.

She also has some really dirty habits, which I know aren't her fault, but still. The worst is that even if she goes in the garden to poo, she sometimes brings the poo inside, smears it all over the floors and dog bed and then eats it.

The amount of attention she requires is also draining me. I thought she'd be content with a daily walk and then sleep the day away like the other dogs but she never sleeps. Three walks a day aren't wearing her out and she is constantly on the go, running around barking, bullying the old dog, and bothering me non-stop. It's just exhausting.

If I didn't actually like her it would be easy just to give her back to her foster carers, but she is a sweet little thing, and she's had a rotten life. I feel guilty moving her from pillar to post again. I also feel very guilty having to admit to myself that I don't want her now I know what she's like. She could live for another 8 years and I just can't bear the thought of another 8 years of this.

kimeister

Two questions:

1) How long have you had her? I'd give it 4-6 weeks before making any final decisions.

2) Have you told the full list of problems to the people that re-homed her to you? Some of them might be helped with training tips or other changes (e.g. you could try adjusting her diet).

I think the sleeping/night-time issues and the pee/poo can be sorted out with training in the medium term, but it also sounds to me a little like a temperament mismatch - she might be just too energetic for your lifestyle? That said, the running around/being on the go/boisterousness could just be a symptom of re-homing related stress. What breed is she? It's hard to say and you should discuss it with the people you got her from. They won't want a dog in a home that isn't a good fit for the dog long-term. If you've given it an honest try for a good number of weeks and are sure it's not going to be a long-term match, it's totally reasonable to ask them to re-home her elsewhere. (But don't ask for your re-homing fee back, for God's sake!).

Teyla Emmagan

She might just be hyper excited to finally have you and her new home. When I got my cat he used to eat me alive when I got home everyday. I would hide under the duvet to escape his bottomless pit of licking love. Few months on and I get a yawn in greeting. Is she still settling down? Could you get someone else to walk her? You just mightn't be used to a young dog anymore. Please don't give up on her.

And have you asked them over in "animals and pets" those guys are a fountain of.knowledge.

cruais

Reward good behaviour with treats.

Has she her own dedicated bed? Try train her that when she comes in from her walk, she takes a drink and pop her into bed. Reward with a treat.

It will take a lot of time and patience but i would say she will calm down.

I am thinking its because she had such a rough start that the loving home she has now is maybe slightly overwhelming for her so she is just getting her barings.

Also the bullying of your older dog. This could be due to previous treatment in the puppy farm. It was probably a case of each dog fending for themselves. In this case, raise your voice and say the dogs name. Then pop her out the back for 10 mins And ignore her. This will begin to form a pattern for her that bad behaviour equals no interaction

castaway_lady

If it was regret at having a child who had different patterns that needed work would you give the child away? If not, then that's your answer.
How anyone could live with doing that to a little creature I don't know. Stick to the commitment to give her a forever home.

prettyrestless

castaway_lady wrote: »

If it was regret at having a child who had different patterns that needed work would you give the child away? If not, then that's your answer.
How anyone could live with doing that to a little creature I don't know. Stick to the commitment to give her a forever home.

There is a big difference between children and animals. You can't reason with animals, you can't help them deal with their issues with therapy. If the arrangement isn't working once every chance has been given then it isn't the best option for the dog either.

OP I think you've gotten lots of helpful ideas on this thread. I hope things work out for you.

DBB

castaway_lady wrote: »

How anyone could live with doing that to a little creature I don't know. Stick to the commitment to give her a forever home.

In fairness, the OP didn't get the dog they were expecting to get, and that they were told they were getting by the rescue group.
OP, I run a dog rescue and have done so for a long time now. There isn't a hope in hell I'd leave you in this situation, or rather, there's no way I'd leave your elderly dog in this situation. What's happening is not fair on her. Okay, in some cases when you rehome a dog, behaviours emerge when the dog settles into their new home that the rescue weren't aware of, so it's possible that the rescue simply didn't realise she was so energetic... this seems unlikely seeing as the dog had a foster carer who would almost certainly have seen the same behaviours, but you never know.
But most of the time, when the right match is made, the transition to the new home is relatively seamless... and it's particularly important when you're placing a dog into a home where there are other dogs that you make the right match, and act quickly to remove the new dog if the match isn't made with the resident dog(s). It has not happened in this case, and this is not fair on your elderly dog.
One thing I need to emphasise... if it's not working out, and especially if the quality of life of the resident dog(s) is suffering, there is no shame to handing a dog back to the rescue. We can't get it right all the time (some are better at getting it right than others), but I personally always keep a space available for several weeks after a dog leaves, just in case he/she has to come back.
Good rescue is not a matter of placing rescue dogs into homes at all costs... if it's not working to such a level as you describe, just call the rescue center and call it a day. You won't be the first or the last to do so, and there's no shame in it as long as (a) you've given things a fighting chance (not or)(b) the resident dog(s) is not suffering.

fits

Agree with DBB. The dog isnt fitting in and is stressing you all out (including your old dog). Sometimes things just dont work out. Send her back.

Hollister11

Its not fair to be moving the dog around like it. You made the decision to get it, so you should keep it. There not toys, you don't just get rid of them if you get bored of it, or you just dont like it.

njs030

Hollister11 wrote: »

Its not fair to be moving the dog around like it. You made the decision to get it, so you should keep it. There not toys, you don't just get rid of them if you get bored of it, or you just dont like it.

Completely useless post. It might be true of someone who has had a dog for years but not if it's a matter of weeks. The ops elderly dog also has at right to quality of life.

Op I also worked in rescue and suggest you ask them to take the dog back, if you're that stressed all your dogs will be picking up on it.

Theres no shame in saying it's not working.

strandroad

I also think that the best route is to work with the rescue to return the dog. While some of the issues seem more trainable than others, it looks like you're making no progress - or are you? If you look back to day one, is the dog better or worse? How long have you had her?

As a side note, you may have misjudged your ability to manage three dogs; especially with one of them being older and unwell it's a lot. Perhaps it would be better to keep two until you say goodbye to your oldie and fill the gap then.

Hollister11

notjustsweet wrote: »

Completely useless post. It might be true of someone who has had a dog for years but not if it's a matter of weeks. The ops elderly dog also has at right to quality of life.

Op I also worked in rescue and suggest you ask them to take the dog back, if you're that stressed all your dogs will be picking up on it.

Theres no shame in saying it's not working.

My posts is defiantly not useless.

Its not fair that the poor dog goes from a kennel to a home, and back to a kennel. He might not be adopted again for a while.

freshpopcorn

Hollister11 wrote: »

My posts is defiantly not useless.

Its not fair that the poor dog goes from a kennel to a home, and back to a kennel. He might not be adopted again for a while.

Yes but the OP has another dog to think of as well and the dog doesn't seem to be settling in and it's own quality of life is being effected in the long run staying with the op because the home doesn't seem to be suitable.

Mayboy

Hi,
I adopted a third dog, a german shepherd earlier this year. Both other dogs were very much in a routine from when we adopted them. Things fell a bit apart when the German Shepherd came - same issues as yours, wanted to sleep upstairs, would not observe rules, no house training, very needy/ full on. I got her a crate - a place to be her own, away from the other dogs, I got her used to this - her safe place. I took her outr on her own, was very strict with her in terms of attention, bad behaviour got ignored and good behaviour got praise.

The early morning house dirtying stopped once we changed her mealtimes, her own time with us made her secure. In short she is now a transformed dog - I would not be without her, the most loyal, beautiful dog anyone could have. I fully know how difficult this is for you, exhausting and all the rest. Try to break up the issues into small things to be done and hopefully it will come together. I would say she/ he is totally melted and needs structure and time. Do your best over a few weeks and be consistent. It is so hard but so rewarding. Best of Luck.

R.D. aka MR.D

are you willing to put the effort into training her?

If not, give her a chance with somebody else.

Otherwise, put the effort in and you can help her.

If she smells bad and is clean, it's very likely it's her diet that is the problem. It could also be her teeth.

kelledy

I have a slightly different approach when it comes to training dogs , the treat for good behaviour doesn't always work with some breeds .
Some dogs are just like brats and need to know there place in the pack .
Your new dog should be bottom of the pack .

You need routine with meals and walks and over time you know when your dog will need toilet and walks , it will be like clock work.
If you can't catch her off lead get a long training lead or rope and put it on her coller so you can grab onto it when she wont come back .

I personally tried various different methods with our dog (2 year old pug x beagle ) and the one that works is a hard disiplied one.
Now I don't mean hitting or anything , also I believe that using words is useless

You need a firm touch and a positive stance . Also some ppl will disagree here but e-collers are a god send for us . We never use the shock but we use a beep and a vibrate (like a phones vibrate) when she is beginning to misbehave and straight away she stops .
Now she Is a new dog.

I tried positive re enforcement training and it didn't work . The dog just knew that if she done what was told she got a treat . And then misbehaved straight after.
You need to be the leader and gain respect or nothing will work by sounds of it

DBB

That's very, very outdated stuff you're advocating there kelledy, and I can see from what you've said that your understanding of positive training could do with some brushing up so that you don't misrepresent it as you have done here.
I won't pull the thread off-topic any more as this is the wrong forum for this discussion, and I hope the op managed to resolve the situation.

Taltos

Mod Note
As the OP hasn't been back in a week am closing this thread. OP there is a Pet forum that may be better suited to this although you might want to have a read of some of the threads and the charter there before posting.

Best of luck and as above hope you've resolved this issue by now.