10-year study says a lot of the kids who were cool at 13 'didn't turn out OK'

cloud493

Teenagers are notoriously rebellious by nature, but most of us eventually grow out of that naive adolescent phase.

Some, however, appear to completely miss the boat. Many of them — at least according to a study published this month in the journal Child Development — end up abusing alcohol and drugs, have trouble maintaining a steady, healthy relationship, and often have problems with the law.

Ironically, the kids who seemed to have it all at age 13 — popularity, invites to parties, older friends, and love lives — are the ones who "didn't turn out O.K." psychologist Joseph P. Allen told Jan Hoffman for The New York Times, where we first learned about Allen's study.

The reason these "cool" kids are lost at sea as adults isn't karma working its magic — it's more scientific than that.

Allen — together with three other researchers at the University of Virginia — conducted one of the first studies of its kind to explore how a certain type of behavior exhibited in some teens, which he calls "adolescent pseudomature behavior," may be having a negative impact on future development.

As the name implies, adolescent pseudomature behavior describes young teens who want to look and feel mature before they actually are — they haven't reached the emotional and behavioral maturity that comes with adulthood. To look and feel mature, these teens often behave in ways they consider mature, like drinking alcohol, smoking, partying late, and having sex.

http://www.businessinsider.com/kids-who-were-cool-at-13-are-not-at-age-23-2015-7


Turns out getting used to the **** life throws at you early on gives you advantages in later life. Since I was incredibly uncool in school, and I'm less of a **** now then many of the people who were 'cool' when I was at school.
Although for anecdotal evidence from my own life, the kids I knew in school who were ****ing, drinking, partying, all either have a bunch of kids, are unemployed, and are desperately trying to cling to the teenage glory days. Karma's a bitch.

dilapidating

I can nearly taste the bitterness in that OP.

Cold War Kid

Thought it was a headline from The Daily Mash.

No such thing as karma. The worst bully in our school did grand for herself.

Talib Fiasco

I bet the people who wrote that and "researched" for it had one big f*ck off erection the whole time like this:
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/2/2f/College3.png/revision/latest?cb=20120412132544

Eh no thanks, the Dutch Gold and naggin down the pants days taught me a lot more than an asian computer game ever could.

Aineoil

Cold War Kid wrote: »

Thought it was a headline from The Daily Mash.

No such thing as karma. The worst bully in our school did grand for herself.

I agree with you, but I do wish karma existed.

When the Sun Hits

I was a loser at 13 and am still a loser. Explain that!

Cold War Kid

Aineoil wrote: »

I agree with you, but I do wish karma existed.

The reason why karma (in the sense of "What goes around comes around") can't exist is because there are plenty of people who do awful things and get on fine in life, and plenty who are really decent, yet awful things constantly happen to them. Maybe, according to buddhists, it's to do with your previous life or next life or something, but it's not the case in this life.

Hell yeah, it would be nice if it existed all right.

cloud493

dilapidating wrote: »

I can nearly taste the bitterness in that OP.

Schadenfraude is delicious.

freshpopcorn

In my experience,
The swotty kids are still swotty. Some of them take drugs and drink now and of course have sex. Whilst some are still the perfect little innocent perfect angels whin look down in people. Most did good enough at college/work.
The quite kids are often still quite an few have come out of their she'll and are a jut more wilder. Most of them have seen to have fair enough social lives and have achieved what the wanted. Whilst some still nearly faint if you say hi to them.
The cool kids in my experience are still cool and most got on well at work/college. A lot of them are still the popular one in the gang.
The scumbags are generally in my opinion still the same. Haven't changed much.

c_man

When the Sun Hits wrote: »

I was a loser at 13 and am still a loser. Explain that!

Aliens.

Wacker The Attacker

I wasn't cool at 13.


I'm not cool at 38.


I couldn't give a hairy rats vagina.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

It hardly took much research to tell us that. We've seen it for ourselves for decades.

Earthhorse

Cold War Kid wrote: »

No such thing as karma. The worst bully in our school did grand for herself.

If you do say so yourself.

Yurt2

Came across recently one of the 'cool kids' when I was in school, who played rugby, had a revolving door of 'cool girl' girlfriends in school and was the class funnyman - but also used his status to be a bit of a d*ck and made sure weaker kids knew where they stood in the pecking order.

I stopped into a pub of an afternoon midweek recently to break a note for change for the bus, and spotted him at the bar staring into his pint with the eyes hanging out of his head. Yep, turned into a fat alcoholic. I'm not celebrating his fate or anything but there's probably truth in this study. A lot of the 'cool kids' and big men didn't go get themselves educated and instead wanted to stay hometown heroes in their one horse town.

Starscream25

c_man wrote: »

Aliens.

A wizard alien.

I was never cool, I never will be cool. Luckily, I've got aims in life other than being cool.

Giblet

All the cool girls in my class hung around with older guys who would hang around outside school in old bangers / bikes and buy them drink / go to pubs with them, and us lads weren't cool enough to get a look in.

Think about how sad it is that some lad 18+ is scoping out secondary school kids while his mates went to college. The girls didn't end up much better for the most part, single mothers by 18.

MarkY91

POW take that guy who turned my schoolbag inside out when I was in the toilet :L

Earthhorse

Giblet wrote: »

All the cool girls in my class hung around with older guys who would hang around outside school in old bangers / bikes and buy them drink / go to pubs with them, and us lads weren't cool enough to get a look in.

Think about how sad it is that some lad 18+ is scoping out secondary school kids while his mates went to college. The girls didn't end up much better for the most part, single mothers by 18.

I remember being jealous of guys like that at the time alright because they were able to impress the girls you fancied, then getting their age and thinking "what da f*ck"?

The_Valeyard

MarkY91 wrote: »

POW take that guy who turned my schoolbag inside out when I was in the toilet :L

Ahhh bagging, by 6th year I had it down to a fine art, ninja style.

Only did it on mates now, wouldn't ever pick or bully anyone .

There was something satisfying at age 17 to be able to get your mates bag moved to the other side of the room, then bagged moved back to its original position without him knowing. It was either that or pay attention in biology.

MarkY91

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Ahhh bagging, by 6th year I had it down to a fine art, ninja style.

Only did it on mates now, wouldn't ever pick or bully anyone .

There was something satisfying at age 17 to be able to get your mates bag moved to the other side of the room, then bagged moved back to its original position without him knowing. It was either that or pay attention in biology.

It does be funny until it's done on yourself haha. I remember somone took it to the next level and threw the inside bag out a 2nd story windows

Talib Fiasco

MarkY91 wrote: »

It does be funny until it's done on yourself haha. I remember somone took it to the next level and threw the inside bag out a 2nd story windows

The key there was when a bagging war started, turn your own one inside out therefore it's still safe...and nobody will bother going near it :pac:

The best was when you did someone's bag, had it moved to up towards the teacher's desk. Half an hour later they'd realise and they'd retrieve their bag with a red face and turn it right way round again. Only for them to realise you were a prime c*nt who turned their Fanta or Coca Cola can pencil case inside out too

Schwiiing

The people who bullied me in school currently have degrees, good jobs, good looking wives/gfs, freinds and all round happy lives so forgive if I call bull**** on that article.

Fox_In_Socks

I've always managed to keep my scrotum the right way round. Noones ever tried to turn it inside out...is this a thing?

One eyed Jack

cloud493 wrote: »

http://www.businessinsider.com/kids-who-were-cool-at-13-are-not-at-age-23-2015-7


Turns out getting used to the **** life throws at you early on gives you advantages in later life. Since I was incredibly uncool in school, and I'm less of a **** now then many of the people who were 'cool' when I was at school.
Although for anecdotal evidence from my own life, the kids I knew in school who were ****ing, drinking, partying, all either have a bunch of kids, are unemployed, and are desperately trying to cling to the teenage glory days. Karma's a bitch.

It took them ten years to verify what the rest of the world has known for centuries?

In other news - water is wet.

RDM_83 again

Schwiiing wrote: »

The people who bullied me in school currently have degrees, good jobs, good looking wives/gfs, freinds and all round happy lives so forgive if I call bull**** on that article.

People are missing the point, its not about being a bully or picking on people, its about acting mature beyond your years and probably being a bit of a "rebel", loads of people are like that who don't pick on people (deliberately). To me it rings true and I would add that there is also the behavior that wouldn't be picked up on by a study (though relationships thing would partially cover it) of going to much the other way after being wild and being too driven and too responsible or getting sucked into the mindfulness/self-actualization/hippy style thing (covering up deeper issues with constant activity)

The Corinthian

I do think a lot of people confuse Karma with basic maths, much of the time. If you're a rebel in school, then chances are your studies will suffer, leading to a sub-optimal academic result and thus ending up in a lower socioeconomic role in life. That's not 'Karma' because it is ultimately based not on 'good' or 'bad' behaviour, but behaviour tied to long-term self interest, such as the capacity to manage delayed gratification.

And then there is Fortuna - luck - and that's just random and arbitrary, from even before we are conceived. No Karma there.

As to the origins of Karma, it's not unlike Christian or Muslim Heaven. Karma in most eastern religions kicks in after death, in that your rebirth is governed by it. As such it is unprovable and a good way to keep the troops in line morally. If, like Heaven, it turns out to be bollocks when you die, then tough - too late to get your money back.

Most people who talk about karma and 'what goes around, comes around' are frankly just making themselves feel better. They lack the will or power to better their own position or otherwise 'balance' the scales and thus turn to a mystical, supernatural force that will do it for them.

TBH, expecting something or someone else to magically balance the scales is probably why they're losers in the first place.

Jimbob1977

When the Sun Hits wrote: »

I was a loser at 13 and am still a loser. Explain that!

Don't worry!

When you're feeling alone at your debs ball, the prettiest girl in your school will walk up to your table and lay down two tickets for Iron Maiden.

I believe the concert is scheduled for Friday.

BunkMoreland

Boards is full the 'uncool in school' kind of people. Bashing the once 'cool' kids goes down well.

Ironically within this online community of uncool, are cool incrowds and cliques who revel in their new found cool status, and act just like their former tormentors. Pathetic.

NachoBusiness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkvvwIawjTU

Medusa22

I don't know about this to be honest, of course it does make some sense that people who were ''popular'' and who partied all the time probably didn't take much of an interest in school work and so they didn't do very well academically which could lead to all sorts of social and financial issues.

However, don't most teenagers display ''pseudomature behaviour''? I mean most adolescents strive to appear more mature and older than they are, often by drinking, smoking, taking drugs and engaging in sex.

I know for myself, I sure as shyte was not popular, I was (and still am) an oddball, but that didn't prevent me from drinking, smoking, taking drugs or engaging in sex. I can see the correlation between being ''cool'' and engaging in these behaviours, of course you are probably more likely to engage in those behaviours but that does not preclude others from doing the same.

NachoBusiness

Or maybe Vernon was right..

You think he's "bitchin," is that it?
Let me tell you something.
Look at him - he's a bum.
You want to see something funny?
You go visit John Bender in five years.
You'll see how goddamned funny he is.

Sorry if this has been posted before, but it's an interesting glimpse of what can happen when two classmates' lives diverge utterly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SImv_FmuhTs

efb

Think the author of that article was finding the answers he was looking for.

When the Sun Hits

The "cool" kids from my childhood are all doing pretty well now. Being cool at a young age has a lot to do with confidence and social skills, they're two traits that can really help a person go far.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I was a really quiet kid, kept to myself, stayed within my group and generally flew under the radar. Changed a lot over the years, I'm not "cool" now, but I'm really confident in myself, I'm always well turned out, I have a great group of friends and it's more than I can say for the "cool" kids in my 2nd year class.

The coolest is now married to a man who's much older than her and cheats on her constantly.
One of the girls who bullied me looks like bugs bunny and has a **** part time job and can't keep a boyfriend
The other one that bullied me did really well for herself but she's ugly af and that pleases me greatly.
And the 3rd bully is now so ashamed she would cross the street if she met me.

I take a lot of pleasure in being an absolute cow to people from school who were horrible to me but now think I'm good enough/cool enough to talk to.
"Sorry who are you?" And "**** off" usually is enough to get them to toddle on

Eugene Norman

One eyed Jack wrote: »

It took them ten years to verify what the rest of the world has known for centuries?

In other news - water is wet.

The point of the survey was to prove or disprove what "everybody has known for decades". Sometimes what everybody knows is wrong.

Cold War Kid

Whenever the jeering at people's looks by the apparently anti-bullying folks start in these threads, the irony is off the scale. Whatever about pointing out terrible behaviour, commenting on something people have no control over - really?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Cold War Kid wrote: »

Whenever the jeering at people's looks by the apparently anti-bullying folks start in these threads, the irony is off the scale. Whatever about pointing out terrible behaviour, commenting on something people have no control over - really?

Well, considering it's the main reason they made so many peoples school life an out and out misery based on looks, I for one am delighted when they're now the wretched looking bags of sh1te. I'm not above taking pleasure in seeing someone's personality show on their face. Wicked on the inside was bound to be wicked on the outside eventually

Fox_In_Socks

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Wicked on the inside was bound to be wicked on the outside eventually

But it's not, is it? There are plenty of charmers, good looking people and intellectuals (sometimes all three) who will always be Teflonic.

Mr Rhode Island Red

Karma
"it will all turn out fine in the end"
"every dog has his day"

Above are all examples of BS that people, including myself, tell themselves to make themselves feel better.

Eugene Norman

When the Sun Hits wrote: »

The "cool" kids from my childhood are all doing pretty well now. Being cool at a young age has a lot to do with confidence and social skills, they're two traits that can really help a person go far.

Yeh. Here's a survey that says the opposite.

Rebellious kids do better than rule following kids in later life.

http://qz.com/460267/rebellious-kids-grow-up-to-out-earn-rule-followers/

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

But it's not, is it? There are plenty of charmers, good looking people and intellectuals (sometimes all three) who will always be Teflonic.

Bit off topic but I honestly believe really pretty kids/teens end up being average looking adults, and average/odd looking teens generally grow into themselves and look much better as adults. Don't think anyone's ever pretty their whole life

conorh91

Eugene Norman wrote: »

Rebellious kids do better than rule following kids in later life.

It is probably a minority of schools were the "rebellious" kids are the coolest.

In most schools, the coolest kids are handsome and good at games… not particularly antagonistic to teachers or rules. With very few exceptions, the rebels weren't particularly cool in my school, and probably most schools.

Maybe in some inner-city school it might be cool to be a badass, but I think that's the exception.

Eugene Norman

When the Sun Hits wrote: »

I don't see how that says the opposite to what I stated. I never mentioned anything about rule breaking.

Says the opposite of the OP's survey.

Eugene Norman

conorh91 wrote: »

It is probably a minority of schools were the "rebellious" kids are the coolest.

In most schools, the coolest kids are handsome and good at games… not particularly antagonistic to teachers or rules. With very few exceptions, the rebels weren't particularly cool in my school, and probably most schools.

Maybe in some inner-city school it might be cool to be a badass, but I think that's the exception.

Yes we may have different experiences. My school had PE but no real commitment to playing other schools in anything but the very uncool GAA, the cool kids were rebels.

Drexel

I don't care about being cool......







That makes me cool, right?

Eugene Norman

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Bit off topic but I honestly believe really pretty kids/teens end up being average looking adults, and average/odd looking teens generally grow into themselves and look much better as adults. Don't think anyone's ever pretty their whole life

Can happen. Spot the dork kid from the wonder years.

http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2014429/rs_634x1024-140529070637-634-Wonder-Years-Today-JR1-52914.jpg

Edit:

Better example f you don't know the guy

https://rickeyorg-rickeyllc.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/The-Wonder-Years-Reunion-Josh-Saviano.jpg


That said they all aged well. Including the good looking kids.

Fox_In_Socks

Eugene Norman wrote: »

Can happen. Spot the dork kid from the wonder years.

http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2014429/rs_634x1024-140529070637-634-Wonder-Years-Today-JR1-52914.jpg

Transgendered?

When the Sun Hits

I went to two different schools. Students who rebelled against teachers were usually considered cool. They were generally confident, gregarious individuals with a lot of friends. They may or may not have been good at sports/attractive, but it certainly helped.

Students who were rebellious in a "dyed hair and dark clothes" sort of way were not considered cool.

BlaasForRafa

I think the OP is talking about this type of bloke, Wooderson from Dazed and Confused

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo4kDrWBa6c