50 and feeling tired all the time??

Hannaho

Hi!! I'm 50, work full-time and have two teenage children. I'm exhausted all the time. When I come home from work, where I work in a nice job, but dealing with the public all the time, I just want to close the door and crash on the sofa. I'm so tired sometimes, I can't walk up the stairs. I have hypothyroidism, but my bloods are fine, as are the rest of my bloods. I don't feel depressed at all, but any little stress, even a whiff of a toxic person, or a situation that doesn't relate to my children or work, and I feel hugely overwhelmed. I wasn't like this until recently - everyone thought I was unbreakable under any form of stress, yet now I can't seem to cope with any stress at all - by the way I'm not anxious at all - though I do worry, like most people about different things. I have ten more years of work to get my kids through school and college, I cant imagine how I will have the energy to do this. I also, strangely for me, have withdrawn from only the most beneficial -emotionally - and most easy-going friendships. Does all this go with menopause - though I'm 50 i don't think I'm menopausal.

dublinman101

There is a contradiction here. You feel hugely overwhelmed at times and don't cope well with certain stressful situations but say you are not anxious at all. It sounds like certain situations are causing you anxiety and there's no shame in that. You might need to listen to your body more carefully, and adapt and learn and talk it out as best you can - something I had to learn almost since early adulthood and am continuing to learn. If you feel constant or persistent stress that is uncomfortable, the chances are you will end up pretty depressed in time. That is my experience and that too is not something to fear or be ashamed of, but prevention is better than cure, believe me.

Zen65

Hannaho wrote: »

I wasn't like this until recently - everyone thought I was unbreakable under any form of stress, yet now I can't seem to cope with any stress at all . . .

Op, let me preface my comments by reminding you that nobody in this forum can offer you medical advice; we are not qualified and you have not been medically diagnosed. That said, your post sounds like the story of everybody who suffers from stress, and the people who suffer the most are often those who go through most of their lives coping without any problems. The good news is that by changing just a few things about your life it's possible to greatly improve how well you cope with stress.

First things first though - I think you need to see a doctor. Your underlying hypothyroidism condition should be checked up before you set about other 'self-treatment' options. You should tell your doctor how you are feeling - both in terms of the tiredness and the feelings of being overwhelmed sometimes. Some simple tests can rule out complications such as iron deficiency, hormone imbalance etc.

Next, I'd suggest (based on my own experience which is not entirely dissimilar to your own) that you try to incorporate regular exercise into your daily routine. I'm not suggesting anything mad, just some gentle 'me' time away from your work, your children, and the internet. Yoga, dance, swimming, Tai Chi etc are what come to mind, but a good brisk walk is every bit as effective. A secondary advantage of 'organised' exercise is the social aspect, which is very important when you're suffering from stress.

I'd also suggest you review your diet and eating habits. Be sure to get plenty of fresh, unprocessed food in your daily diet and get into the habit of eating in a relaxed environment.

If you're a drinker and/or a smoker I'd suggest that you cut back or stop altogether. Neither drinking nor smoking help in any way when you're suffering from stress. In fact, at the risk of stating the obvious, smoking makes just about every aspect of ageing a lot harder.

I did not understand your comment in relation to friendships, but would encourage you to ensure that you are maintaining social contacts with close friends. It's far more helpful (normally) than posting on an internet forum

I have found that CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is very useful as a tool for managing stress. I'd suggest you discuss that with your doctor.

Be at peace,

Z

Stheno

You should also get your hormone levels tested in case you are pre menopausal, or indeed menopausal.

A good indicator is the age your mother went through it if she is still alive to ask and you are comfortable.

Otherwise blood tests can evaluate it.

LegacyUser

Is it just that you need a break? Is it just that it's all caught up on you? Years and years of working so hard and holding up a mask that it's not getting to you

Suggest.... Taking a long holiday, maybe your work will give you a holiday or even unpaid leave or stress leave or a career break. Lie on a Greek beach and eat good food and read a good book for 4 weeks without any interruptions!!

JuliusCaesar

Are you looking after yourself? Not drinking too much, not smoking? Getting enough sleep? Getting a little bit of outdoor exercise? Being in contact with friends?

Are the kids helping out with the household chores?

It may be that you need a week off to catch up with sleep, and then reorganise life. Not doing the things that are beneficial (not keeping in contact with friends) might mean that years of stress have caught up with you. A week off at home can be as beneficial as going away.

uck51js9zml2yt

I was tired, had a slight cough and ended up being told I had a faulty heart valve which required surgery to rectify.

Have you spoken to your GP?
While everyone here can speculate, we cant diagnose your condition.

jimd2

I agree that you should speak to your GP regarding any possible health issue no matter how small.

I can only assume that you are single parent and that brings it's own levels of stresses. If you have any siblings close by perhaps they could help relieve some of the burden.

You are probably in a rut without really realising it.

It sounds as if your children are old enough to mind themselves in the evenings. Perhaps try and arrange to meet some friends or family for an early bird before you even go home and get the children to feed / mind themselves. Try to maybe go for a walk with a friend another day a week.