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Witty, hilarious, and utterly inappropriate newspaper headlines

Boring username · 2015-07-29 16:52:30

Say what you want about the red tops, but they do occasionally come up with some brilliant headlines. Take this little beauty, for instance: Not to be outdone, the Irish Independent churned out this classic in 2013: And then you have the wildly over the top, nuclear weapons grade level of offensive headline. This was an…

29-07-2015 4:52pm

#1

Boring username

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Say what you want about the red tops, but they do occasionally come up with some brilliant headlines. Take this little beauty, for instance:

Not to be outdone, the Irish Independent churned out this classic in 2013:

And then you have the wildly over the top, nuclear weapons grade level of offensive headline. This was an actual New York Sunday News headline after the Stonewall Park riots in 1969, sparked by a heavy handed Police raid on a gay bar:

What other headlines stuck in your mind?

19

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#2 29-07-2015 4:56pm

Lucifer MorningStar

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#3 29-07-2015 5:01pm

Wacker The Attacker

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#4 29-07-2015 5:01pm

donegaLroad

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off the top of my head, the time the Monk applied for a taxi license.. headline in the Herald (I think)

'Monk takes CAB for a ride'

A long time ago I remember a headline in the local paper which read

'Hopes for new fire station in Milford are rekindled'

and in the same paper, a headline appeared in an article about a road fatality which read

'Calls for zero tolerance after death'

0
#5 29-07-2015 5:02pm

The Backwards Man

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An American one that always get thrown out

'Missippi's literacy program shows improvement'

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#6 29-07-2015 5:05pm

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

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Lucifer MorningStar wrote: »

Sadly it's not real. This is however.....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/29/newspaper-fail-sex-offend_n_629837.html

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#7 29-07-2015 5:05pm

castletownman

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#8 29-07-2015 5:15pm

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#9 29-07-2015 5:17pm

stimpson

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http://m.independent.ie/irish-news/new-bishop-prays-for-rape-victims-29638222.html

0
#10 29-07-2015 5:28pm

Kermit.de.frog

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#11 29-07-2015 5:32pm

Red Kev

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Inverness Caledonian Thistle beat Celtic a few years ago in a shock defeat.

This was the next days headline.........

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#12 29-07-2015 5:38pm

major bill

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#13 29-07-2015 5:40pm

Boring username

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Red Kev wrote: »

Inverness Caledonian Thistle beat Celtic a few years ago in a shock defeat.

This was the next days headline.........

https://supercaleygoballistic.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/super-caley-go-ballistic1.jpg

That man should have been knighted the next day :P

0
#14 29-07-2015 5:47pm

donegaLroad

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major bill wrote: »

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQmqVXtzDAJ3cWTDuqhumI-A6Bqcq_gLG1qxfAXZVuFZuXRITj6hg

imagine being in court for that hearing..

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#15 29-07-2015 5:49pm

fleet_admiral

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I remember the Sun when pat the baker died

'Pat The Baker Is Brown Bread'

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#16 29-07-2015 6:06pm

kfallon

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#17 29-07-2015 6:10pm

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I think it was either the Russians or the Chinese recently that sent a chimp into space.

The headline on the Metro was "This Monkey's Gone to Heaven".

For those not familiar with the Pixies the following video provides you with some much needed perspective:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK3iSglbZUM

0
#18 29-07-2015 6:25pm

NachoBusiness

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https://twitter.com/MrNachoBusiness/status/626458404526141440

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#19 29-07-2015 6:29pm

LordSutch

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World War II bomber found on moon!

Freddie Starr ate my hamster

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#20 29-07-2015 6:29pm

Rubberlegs

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Freddie Starr ate my hamster

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#21 29-07-2015 6:37pm

NachoBusiness

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https://twitter.com/MrNachoBusiness/status/626460664182243328

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#22 29-07-2015 6:38pm

Rubberlegs

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LordSutch wrote: »

World War II bomber found on moon!

Freddie Starr ate my hamster

Hehe, snap !!

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#23 29-07-2015 6:42pm

Happyman42

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Muff Diver Rescued From Crabs.

*may not be true.

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#24 29-07-2015 6:56pm

bisounours

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Canadian friend told me about this one so not sure if it's true!

Pope JP II visited Canada back in the day and declared the beaver a fish. Headlines the day after were screaming "Pope eats beaver on Fridays"

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#25 29-07-2015 7:19pm

BoredDOTie2014

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A few years ago the widow of Frog Ward, (the burglar shot dead by farmer Padraig Nally) fell pregnant by her new Nigerian lover. A Sunday paper went with the headline:
Sprog Ward

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#26 29-07-2015 7:20pm

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I thought this might work better in the cool vids pics & link forum as you can embed pics here. I've left a redirect from AH. Hope that's OK. If you want it sent back just report this post and the lads will send it back my way

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#27 29-07-2015 7:21pm

major bill

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#28 29-07-2015 7:29pm

major bill

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http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sunday-life/sex-with-mattress-accused-under-terror-death-threat-30551889.html

wtf

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#29 29-07-2015 11:18pm

NachoBusiness

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Parent's Magazine.

Where Magazine.

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#30 30-07-2015 1:09am

Son Of A Vidic

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#31 30-07-2015 7:31am

mallards

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#32 30-07-2015 10:51am

Gun_Slinger

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surprised this wasnt mentioned yet

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#33 30-07-2015 11:18am

fobster

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Gun_Slinger wrote: »

surprised this wasnt mentioned yet

Mentioned above! Best ever!

www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=96421232&postcount=6

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#34 30-07-2015 1:49pm

Rough Sleeper

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#35 02-08-2015 7:36pm

bnt

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You are the type of what the age is searching for, and what it is afraid it has found. I am so glad that you have never done anything, never carved a statue, or painted a picture, or produced anything outside of yourself! Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music. Your days are your sonnets.
―Oscar Wilde predicting Social Media, in The Picture of Dorian Gray

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#36 02-08-2015 7:46pm

jimbis

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