My boyfriend's other girlfriend.

popecatapetal

Hi folks,

I'm in an open relationship with my boyfriend of four years. It normally works very well for us, as we're both bi, but it's causing a bit of a problem for me at the moment.

At the moment, he has another girlfriend - an American girl who we met through a friend. She's over for a week to stay with us and we're doing all the traditional tourist stuff with her during the day, and at night they are together.

The problem is that she is straight, and not really interested in getting involved with me that way - were just good friends and "girlfriend-in-laws". But I think I'm falling for her.

I'm not jealous when I hear them, but it does make me a bit sad because I keep wishing I could be there too.

I've said it to my boyfriend - he spotted me crying and wouldn't shut up til I told him what was wrong. He thinks she would be willing to try a full threesome with some encouragement, but I don't think it would help - I think it would either be a one time thing that would just make me like her more, or it would be awkward and make things uncomfortable for a while.

I know this sounds like a story from Playboy or something, but it really is my life, and I just want some advice about how to act with her.

Thank you in advance,
Poppy

miamee

Thst sounds like a very difficult situation for you to be in. You say she is just here for a week but what happens at the end of the week, is your boyfriend still in a relationship with her, albeit a long distance one? Or is that the end of them as a couple?

If she does say she will go ahead with a threesome, think about it before you do it. It could turn out to be a one time thing with her trying to please him, she may not enjoy it or be into you (sorry but you said she is straight) and this may make you feel worse not better.

Perhaps it would be best for you to find your own things to do for the remainder of the week, hang out with your own friends, maybe stay over with one for a night or two and leave them to it. It's something you really should be talking about with your boyfriend though; while I don't know much about open relationships, I assume the idea is that you can both see other people, not that you both share the same other person.

eviltwin

This girl isn't interested in you so you have to respect that. Trying to encourage or coerce her into a threesome is a bit naff tbh, you must have known that she was straight before now so you would have expected that she wouldn't want to be intimate with you? I can appreciate its probably not much fun seeing them get it on under your roof and you're the bystander but you have to find some other way of dealing with it. She is straight so accept it, you falling for her is probably just a bit of envy and wanting to be in on the fun too but respect that she doesn't see you that way. I agree with Miamee, keep yourself busy away from them if possible. She will be gone soon enough.

Penny Tration

I think you and your boyfriend need to discuss what you both want from an open relationship.

If you want a relationship where your boyfriend's other partner (or your other partner) is involved sexually/emotionally with BOTH of you, then dating straight people simply won't work. Trying to cajole a straight woman into having a threesome would be a pretty crappy thing to do.

If it's an open relationship where you both have your own other partners and have them separate from your own relationship, then it's up to you to just learn to accept that his straight girlfriend doesn't want a same sex relationship.

Seems that you both need to decide if you want an open relationship where you can both see other people separate to your own relationship, or a polyamorous relationship, where the third party is involved with you both.

FluffyAngel

hi op

is the girl the problem or that you want to be with your partner when he is with her?

sometimes the problem isnt very clear until we clear the weeds